12 Krom The Barbarian
Krom The Barbarian
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Air Date: May 27, 2015 Episode Link
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Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Krom the Barbarian
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistant: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Desktime via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative

Description

"Krom the Barbarian is going to be my guest this week. He is… a big guy."

Summary

Arnie welcomes Krom the Barbarian as his guest on the podcast this week. Krom is a Fingarian, from the northern tundra of Fingaria. Despite being large compared to normal humans, he is small by Fingarian standards, which is why he has left his home. Chunt piggybacks on the opportunity to make note of Arnie's girth when compared to Krom.

Krom has a bit of a temper, which is usually set off when he is embarrassed. He is very adept at fight (to kill), fight (not to kill), trying to sleep with women, and fight (against the air), the latter of which generally occurs when he has a few meads too many. Chunt finds a way to weasel in a plug for his talent show.

The podcast takes a sudden turn when Chunt impolitely and abruptly asks Krom about his relationship with his parents. No doubt taken aback by such a forward and personal question, Krom admits that he felt pressured to follow in his father's footsteps to be a barbarian.

Things get kind of… weird, then, when Krom begins talking about his fascination and dreams of bears, the most recent of which involves discovering and having sex with a bear (gender undefined). Usidore posits that Krom has the ability to control animals with his very mind - Krom tests this power by making Chunt continue sitting in his chair, to great effect.

Usidore then brings Krom a magical stone that - when held - allows the user to talk to and read the minds of animals. Arnie laughs at the idea of the magic stone and offers Krom a "magic feather" that gives the owner the power of flight via ear flappery. Usidore is not amused by this jest.

The boys then play a word-association game with Krom. Most of his answers seem to revolve around violence or bears. Krom then opens up about some of his troubles in previous towns, including Gratax, where he had a table thrown at him and sandals stolen for air fighting in the corner. Chunt, again, shamelessly brings up Chunt's Night.

Krom is overcome with emotion at the kindness shown by his new friends. The excited chanting of his name, however, causes him to Rage and destroy many, many things. As tavern law dictates, Krom then sheepishly hands over his sandals for his transgressions and is banned from Hogsface.

Chunt reads an email asking if he needs a roommate. He apparently has put out an ad on Smeg's List for a roommate.

Arnie also reads a long-winded e-mail from a dragon named Vertarilax the Consumer asking about having a dragon on the podcast. It is exceedingly wordy. Usidore points out that he has already asked two dragons to do Arnie's podcast, but they have both refused.

Foon Sponsor

Otok Barleyfoot takes a moment to promote The Vermilion Minotaur. He sounds slightly confused at the concept of a podcast advertisement, but seems enthusiastic at the possibility of new customers. Customers who have heard the ad should whisper the promo code "Chuntstock" to the bouncer upon entering.

Additional Appearances

Earth References

Notes

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