Season 1, Ep 16 - Spintax the Green
Spintax the Green
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date June 22, 2015
Episode no. S01E16
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Spintax the Green
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Ryan DiGiorgi
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Cards Against Humanity via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative
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"Spintax the Green" is the sixteenth episode of season one of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on June 22, 2015. This episode features the first appearance of Charlie McCrackin as the wizard Spintax the Green.


"I finally get to meet the famous wizard Spintax the Green! Maybe I should have told Usidore he was coming…"


Spintax The Green is on the podcast instead of Usidore today as Arnie's wizard pal and guest. Chunt is a huge fan, especially of Spintax's feat of dissolving the Wall of Fire. We learn about Spintax's full name, as well as insight into his magic powers when he makes his autograph appear in Chunt's pocket. The three play the Earth game "Two Truths And A Lie" as the source of Spintax's powers (truth and lies) remind Arnie of the game.

Usidore then arrives at the Vermilion Minotaur, looking for a meal as his cupboard is literally bare, leading to awkward tension between him and Spintax. We learn that Usidore was roommates with Spintax in the Halls of Terr'akkas, and they share stories from their youth.

In a short break, Glenn Miller and Spants sing a song about the emotions Glenn felt when he met Spants.

Spintax then talks about the encroaching Void, which trumps Usidore's quest to defeat the Dark Lord; Spintax reminds him that here will always be a Dark Lord and quotes a rhyme to this point (see Notes). The only way to stop the Void from erasing all of existence is to convince a specific, sad little girl who lives in a mundane world, Penelope Penelope, to believe in magic. Arnie volunteers to go as emissary, but Spintax reveals that while wizards can conjure a portal to another dimension (including Earth), it will require killing six Foonish children. Arnie is unwilling to make this sacrifice to get home.

They are distressed to be facing yet another ominous evil threat, but determine that drinking is a suitable temporary solution.

Reading mail from viewers, Usidore tells Arnie that he believes he is the "unlikely hero from a secret world" that is prophesied to defeat The Dark Lord. In discussing the Dark Lord, Usidore accidentally says his true name, ████████████. This turns the Dark Lord's attention to Hogsface, and Spintax cowardly escapes to his gem home.

Space Bunker Plot

After the podcast ends, the Mysterious Man seems very worried that the evil gauntlet has just been thrown.

Earth references

  • Yankee Doodle Dandy
  • Elvira: Mistress of the Dark


  • "The Rhyme of the Dark Lord" (as given by Spintax):

He who holds the Book of Sight
When the moon is drained of all its light
Shall then be ruler of the night
Master of the dark!

  • Spintax introduces them to Rainbow Bowls, which are non-alcoholic but “send your mind through time”.
  • Spintax specifies Penelope Penelope is a “homely” little girl living in a trailer with messy red hair in pigtails and a “pug nose”. She lives in a sad trailer with her mother as her parents are divorcing, but her mother is never home because she’s an RN.
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