17 D'athaniel Quen'yarvin
D’athaniel Quen’yarvin
Air Date: June 29, 2015 Episode Link
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Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: D'athaniel Quen'yarvin the Elvish Archer
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistant: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Basecamp via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative

"D'athaniel Quen'yarvin" is the seventeenth episode of season one of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on June 29, 2015. This episode features the first appearance of Tim Ryder as the elf D'athaniel Quen'yarvin.


"This week I meet an Elven archer! Elvish archer? He’s an elf."


People are on edge, or as Usidore puts it, there is a pall over the town of Hogsface, because he mentioned the name of The Dark Lord in the previous episode. People are tripping, The Smorps are back and frustrating Usidore, and so on. Chunt went on a date last weekend with a celebrity, a rare Great Blue Tiger, to his favorite date spot, Make-out Point. Unfortunately, the tiger died, leaving only two left in the world, however, its bones gave Chunt one wish.

The guest is D'athaniel Quen'yarvin, an Elvish archer. We find out there is a rhyme warning Elves against joining any quest offered to them by Fi'ang Yalok (Usidore's Elvish name). When Chunt asks him to shoot a spiced potato off Arnie's head, it is revealed that he is not a very good archer, and is mocked by his own people. He is on a quest to seek revenge against trees for taking his father from his family when he was young, but it's clear to everyone else there that his parents got divorced, and "taken by the trees" is simply a lie his mother invented.

The rumor of the week is that Rifkin the Blacksmith is living with his mother again.

They discuss the merits (or lack thereof) of the Wine of the Ancients. Chunt reveals that he has finally used his Great Blue Tiger bone to grant his wish: no matter what shape he takes, he will always have two buttholes. D'athaniel trumps him by pointing out that elves have three buttholes, and Chunt immediately regrets wasting a wish. We get to hear an Elvish rhyme warning about shapeshifters, and we learn that the Elvish word for "fuck it" is "yung'stain". He tries to shoot a stool but once again fails.

A Juan G calls out Chunt for supporting Spintax the Green over Usidore despite Spintax cowardly fleeing in the previous episode.

D'athaniel then defeats a tree using his legs, which later turns out to be Otok Barleyfoot's wife's memorial death tree.

Earth References

Behind the Scenes

D'athaniel Quen'yarvin
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Usidore, Chunt, DQ, Arnie
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