25 Eagles
Eagles
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Air Date: August 24, 2015 Episode Link
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Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Eagles Craw and Flappy
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistant: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Iron Galaxy via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative

Description

"With Spintax taking care of things, we can get back to our regular podcast routine and have some normal guests on the show — that is, if you can consider two gigantic eagles normal guests."

Summary

Usidore immediately interrupts Arnie as the podcast begins because he wants to go get a drink from the bar. Chunt has been shaken up by their encounter with the Soul Walker and the latest machinations of The Dark Lord and The Void, and has been inspired to follow his dream: opening up a restaurant. He asks Arnie for help. Usidore has already agreed to be chef, he thinks he can avoid competing with the Vermilion Minotaur by making it a late-night establishment, and one of the possible names is "Chu Chu's Chow". (He later gets the idea that customers will say "Chunt, please!" at the end of their meals.) Arnie is skeptical, saying it sounds like it would be a terrible story line if it weren't real.

Finally they get to their guests: Craw and Flappy, of the great eagles of Foon. They are old friends of Usidore, and we find that they are regularly saving him from doom, as the primary task the eagles have is to make sure wizards don't fall into anything. The eagles then discuss their relationship with wizards, their abilities, and their everyday lives.

Usidore comes clean about his obvious subterfuge in talking about his great love, Jyn'Leeviyah, whom he admits he has tried to trap inside a crystal coffin. It turns out it was not her that was trapped inside the coffin, but a plate of croissants that he had mistaken for her.

After the break, Usidore berates the eagles for only swooping in at the end of the quest, when they could be immensely useful to him at the beginning and middle of his quest to defeat The Dark Lord. The eagles are offended at this, and Usidore tries to make up for it by offering to make them a cow to eat. Instead, he makes a tiny bull. The eagles tell the story of how they first met Usidore, when he drunkenly fell down the slope leading to his house and asked a worm to let the eagles know he needed help. It turns out that worm was in fact Chunt. We then find out that the eagles are in fact princes in the eagle kingdom: Craw and Flappy are respectively the next ones in line for the throne. Usidore then falls down and the eagles help him up. Usidore tries to get another drink, but Arnie intervenes and the eagles offer to take him for a walk instead.

Foon Sponsor

Today's sponsor is Otok Barleyfoot of the Vermilion Minotaur, who is first rudely interrupted by a drunk Usidore demanding a drink. Today's rumor is: the alewives in the lake are dying because of a poisoned amulet thrown in the lake. It might because of disease or a predator, but it's probably a poisoned amulet.

Emails

  • Brevity is the soul of wit (and getting your emails read on the show)
  • A listener wants to learn a curse to make birds poop on their ex's head. The eagles offer, and note that they poop on people's head a lot as a prank. They also tear people asunder and eat them.
  • You cannot become a shapeshifter by simply having sex with animals, so stop trying.

Additional Appearances

Earth References

Notes

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