|Air Date: September 14, 2015||Episode Link|
|Previous Episode||Episode 28||Next Episode|
|Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore||Guests: Eternia the Forever Girl|
|Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi|
|Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi||Theme Music: Andy Poland||Logo: Allard Laban|
|Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistant: Garrett Schultz
"This week I meet a little girl who will live forever! I think? I’m not super clear on the rules, but Chunt and Usidore are excited about it."
Before the guest is introduced, we learn about a couple of Usidore's other names, and that Chunt has wasted his hour of computer time looking at Tinder. Usidore hints that he knows how to get as much computer time as he wants. Arnie is kind of a jerk and refuses to go to Chunt's Night, even though he's looking forward to Open Mike Night.
In fact, Chunt met this week's guest at Chunt's Night: Eternia is a Forever Girl, a girl who will remain a child forever. She tells us about what a Forever Girl is, and how she met Chunt. Usidore is humbled by her presence, and gives her a prism and begs for her to consider joining him on his quest to defeat The Dark Lord. She loves doing impressions, and does a very convincing impression of Arnie. We learn about her family and how proud she is to be the Jewish daughter of a Notsee.
Arnie compares cultural norms on Earth and Foon, noting that "different things mean different things." For example, in Foon, the "OK" hand gesture means "I have three buttholes", their term for rap music is "rhythmic rhyme songs", and "rap music" is knocking-based music. Arnie seems hung up on the Notsee thing, and his obsession makes Eternia cry. This offends Usidore so much, he sets some people on fire. To calm her down, Usidore tries to get her a drink while Arnie makes up for his rudeness by singing her the lullaby he used to sing to his daughter. After she falls asleep, she begins to speak in verse, which Usidore believes is prophecy.
Arnie scrambles to give Eternia a present so as not to be rude, and gives her a button that has popped off his pants. Chunt gives her a chance to pet him, which Usidore gladly gets in on.
- Chunt was sent a picture of a cat's butthole to show him what animal buttholes on Earth look like
- Chunt was also sent a list of all of the Earth names, which he decides are probably totally accurate
- A listener wants to know if Usidore has a special lady (because she's interested). She isn't as interested in Chunt, whom she assumes must be riddled with STDs. We find out that STDs do not exist on Foon (their best guess at the acronym is Sorcerer Treachery Death/Doom). Eternia is delighted that she can have sex with a Forever Boy without getting pregnant.
We also briefly heard the Burger King drive thru operator, who could vaguely hear Usidore and what seems to be a farting tiny horse.
The sign for "okay" made with the fingers on Earth means "I have three buttholes" on Foon.