28 Forever Girl
Forever Girl
magictavern1.png?w=250
Air Date: September 14, 2015 Episode Link
Previous Episode Episode 28 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Eternia the Forever Girl
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistant: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Subscrybe via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative

Description

"This week I meet a little girl who will live forever! I think? I’m not super clear on the rules, but Chunt and Usidore are excited about it."

Summary

Before the guest is introduced, we learn about a couple of Usidore's other names, and that Chunt has wasted his hour of computer time looking at Tinder. Usidore hints that he knows how to get as much computer time as he wants. Arnie is kind of a jerk and refuses to go to Chunt's Night, even though he's looking forward to Open Mike Night.

In fact, Chunt met this week's guest at Chunt's Night: Eternia is a Forever Girl, a girl who will remain a child forever. She tells us about what a Forever Girl is, and how she met Chunt. Usidore is humbled by her presence, and gives her a prism and begs for her to consider joining him on his quest to defeat The Dark Lord. She loves doing impressions, and does a very convincing impression of Arnie. We learn about her family and how proud she is to be the Jewish daughter of a Notsee.

Arnie compares cultural norms on Earth and Foon, noting that "different things mean different things." For example, in Foon, the "OK" hand gesture means "I have three buttholes", their term for rap music is "rhythmic rhyme songs", and "rap music" is knocking-based music. Arnie seems hung up on the Notsee thing, and his obsession makes Eternia cry. This offends Usidore so much, he sets some people on fire. To calm her down, Usidore tries to get her a drink while Arnie makes up for his rudeness by singing her the lullaby he used to sing to his daughter. After she falls asleep, she begins to speak in verse, which Usidore believes is prophecy.

Arnie scrambles to give Eternia a present so as not to be rude, and gives her a button that has popped off his pants. Chunt gives her a chance to pet him, which Usidore gladly gets in on.

Emails

  • Chunt was sent a picture of a cat's butthole to show him what animal buttholes on Earth look like
  • Chunt was also sent a list of all of the Earth names, which he decides are probably totally accurate
  • A listener wants to know if Usidore has a special lady (because she's interested). She isn't as interested in Chunt, whom she assumes must be riddled with STDs. We find out that STDs do not exist on Foon (their best guess at the acronym is Sorcerer Treachery Death/Doom). Eternia is delighted that she can have sex with a Forever Boy without getting pregnant.

Drive Thru

We also briefly heard the Burger King drive thru operator, who could vaguely hear Usidore and what seems to be a farting tiny horse.

Miscellaneous

The sign for "okay" made with the fingers on Earth means "I have three buttholes" on Foon.

Foon Sponsor

Additional Appearances

Earth References

Notes

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License