|Spurt the Elder|
|Air Date: October 19, 2015||Episode Link|
|Previous Episode||Episode 33||Next Episode|
|Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore||Guests: Foon Chronicler Spurt the Elder|
|Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi|
|Editor: Evan Jacover||Theme Music: Andy Poland||Logo: Allard Laban|
|Additional Sound Effects:|
|Sponsored by: Basecamp via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative|
"Our guest this week is the greatest poet in all of Foon: Spurt the Elder. But apparently there’s another Spurt too? I don’t know. Foon is confusing."
Usidore wants to make it very clear that he is withholding some of his secret names to protect people around him from their power. Chunt gets upset that so much time was spent talking about Usidore before introducing him. Chunt is still dating the cockroach. On their latest date, they both got on top of his friend Pizza Skull and flew up into the sky. Chunt also invited her to work at Chu Chu's Chow. Usidore and Chunt also invite Arnie to work there as a door gnome.
Their guest is Spurt the Elder, the greatest chronicler of Foon of the current age. His adepts are currently writing odes to Chunt and his current girlfriend. He reads a lusty poem written for Titania Belaroth. They discuss the title of "Spurt" and the state of poetry in Foon. Chunt asks for a poem about the Chunt for Red October, and Spurt obliges. Chunt and Arnie are a little at odds still because Arnie doesn't seem to care about Chunt's event. Usidore brings some drinks as Spurt reads the poem, and they pour one out for poets that have come before them as they list them. Usidore requests a poem for flowers, and Chunt forces Arnie to try making a poem up on the spot, and he has trouble rhyming something with "chocolate" and "Snickers". After they read emails, Spurt reads one final poem. Arnie still can't rhyme "chocolate".
- If Chunt has sex with a god or deity, will they turn into it? The answer is probably yes, but the god or deity might not have genitalia.
- Someone thinks Arnie is actually a supplier of puppies. Arnie notices that he has not seen any puppies in Foon, and finds out why. Usidore threatens the person asking for puppies, and vows to protect puppies if any harm is planned for them. He will do this by devouring a full size ferret, and with that ferret's soul, casting a spell that will cause the ferret's soul to poison their brain.
- If Chunt could only save one of Arnie or Usidore from a fire, who would it be? Both of them, but Usidore wouldn't need rescuing.
- A listener really likes Chunt's catchphrase "aw yeah, bebbe".
- Usidore shouts out to Billy Yum-Yum Two-By-Two.
Bungaree Chubbins tells us how his father decided on his death bed that he should run the family chamber pot business. It should have gone to his elder brother, Flarvin, but he's not sure why it didn't. Anyway, come on down and buy a chamber pot.