38 Letters
Letters
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Air Date: November 23, 2015 Episode Link
Previous Episode Episode 38 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Tannakin the Pinglet, Spants, Glenn Miller
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Episode Art: ???
Sponsored by: Basecamp via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative, Utter Nonsense

Description

"We’ve been getting so many emails lately, I decided to do an all letters episode. Letters night!"

Summary

True to his word, Arnie tries out adding voice-overs during the intro music to the podcast, including a bit from Tannakin the Pinglet, who just dropped in to do that. Arnie also keeps his new tradition of sprinting to the other side of the room when Usidore announces his name, and while he's gone, Chunt uses the opportunity to criticize Arnie for not desperately pleading for help or ever trying to save his family during the podcast.

The episode is devoted entirely to listener letters.

Letters

  • A listener has a crush on Chunt. Chunt is still dating the cockroach, taking it slow, but in a happy relationship. Chunt says, though, if that didn't work out and he was in Earth, he might be interested. When he hears the letter is probably from a human, he recants as he is not that into humans.
  • A listener asks if Arnie can take a picture of The Vermilion Minotaur, so he can stop imagining it as The Smiling Skull in Athens, Ohio. Arnie explains the bar to Chunt and Usidore as a biker bar, which Usidore mishears as a bicur bar. Arnie's camera isn't very good and it takes a long time to upload pictures, but he'll try.
  • Remember when Arnie fucked a memory gremlin? Yup.
  • A listener asks if the cast could wish their boyfriend Zach a happy birthday, but they've gotten the letter too late.
  • Did Flower survive the fall when Arnie dropped her off a cliff, and will she come back to the show? She did and she has.
  • What is the most dangerous thing Arnie has ever done? He once went into the back room of the tavern because his lamb was undercooked. Usidore thinks Arnie needs to find a job.
  • A listener asks Spants to sing his favorite verse to Seven Dragons and a Baby. Arnie gives it a shot. Usidore comments that it must be a regional verse.
  • A listener thinks that Arnie might be dead and Foon his vision of the afterlife. Chunt proves this theory wrong by smacking Arnie.
  • A listener is upset at Usidore because his girlfriend screamed his name out (in its entirety) during sex. They don't believe this but beg listeners to actually do this and then tell them about it.
  • A litigator from Wisherman and Imps Goldstein Law Offices tells Chunt that he is not bound to just two buttholes, because he can argue that if he shapeshifts into a creature with three buttholes, he will also have two, thus fulfilling the terms of the wish that Chunt made. He also has some wishing stars in storage that Usidore might be able to use to defeat the Dark Lord.
  • Here's a funny idea for an episode: what if you had a dinosaur on the show, and he could be called Tyrannosaurus Rob? Arnie explains that a dinosaur is just a boring version of a dragon. Usidore wonders if they're anything like Grumthor, the most boring dragon that he knows.
  • Do they have another podcast? No, but Chunt and Usidore have been playing Offices & Bosses, but they aren't recording it because Arnie won't let them use the computer. They ask listeners to email in if you want to hear an Offices & Bosses podcast. Arnie also used to have a nerd interview podcast.
  • A listener found a very recent Game Informer interview with Arnie online. Arnie was a writer for Jackbox Party Pack 2, but since he's trapped in Foon, he is probably thinking of his co-worker, Allard.
  • On Earth, there are booster seats for children. How do they accommodate for creatures of various sizes in The Vermilion Minotaur? There are all sizes of stools, chairs, and tables.
  • So far the podcast has failed to pass the Bechdel Test. Arnie promises to work harder to rectify this. Chunt offers to shapeshift into a woman, and Usidore offers to turn himself and/or Arnie into a woman.
  • Shout out to Patrick Hannon.
  • A listener writes to say that listening to the podcast made him feel better while he was laid up in the hospital. Chunt awkwardly hugs Arnie.
  • If Chunt had a threesome with two different animals, what would happen? He would turn into a combination of the two.
  • Has Chunt not had sex lately, or has he been having sex with different badgers and Arnie hasn't noticed? Can Usidore curse their friend to make every fart he does a little bit wet? Usidore obliges.
  • A listener who was working near the Burger King the day Arnie came to Foon offers to slip some cords and other wires through the portal in exchange for what he calls an "elvish maiden gloryhole". They all suggest no one go near the portal for a while.
  • A listener lets them know they entered through the portal and into The Vermilion Minotaur without realizing it, thinking it was still the Burger King. They wrote a Yelp review based on their experience. (The review seems to have been removed.)
  • Does Foon have phoenixes, pegasi, and hippogriffs? Yes, they have phoenixes; in fact, the memory gremlin went to Phoenix University. They also have pegasi, but they have never heard of a hippogriff before. Arnie can't remember what one is.
  • Are there more shapeshifters than Chunt? Yes.

Musical Interlude

Spants and Glenn Miller sing the "regional" verse of Seven Dragons and a Baby.

Foon Sponsor

Additional Appearances

Earth References

Notes

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