42 Winter Solstice
Winter Solstice
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Air Date: December 21, 2015 Episode Link
Previous Episode Episode 42 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Glenn Miller and Spants
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Sponsored by: Emporium Arcade Bar via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative

Description

"There’s a chill in the air and in Foon that could mean literally anything. But this time it means Winter Solstice! Glenn Miller and Spants join us for gift giving and traditional Solstice carols."

Summary

It's Winter Solstice time, and Arnie gets filled in on what this means. "Winter Solstice" can be shortened to "WiSo", and to celebrate in Foon, people eat wiso soup. There are many holidays during the Winter Solstice, including Chrismust, Gunderstein, Shiftmas, and of course Hanukkah. Usidore tries to say "sorry not sorry" as a spell, and it makes a small flame. Chunt gives Arnie Gorgeous as a present.

Our guests are Glenn Miller and Spants. Arnie tells them about the Earth tradition of the Christmas Tree, and Usidore is surprised that the tree is killed, saying you basically commit a murder and then put the trophy of the murder inside your house. Chrismust is explained, and they all sing the Chrismust song, where you say what you will make Chris do when it's your turn. Arnie does not get the spirit of the song. Arnie shares his favorite Christmas song, "I'll Be Home For Christmas", and makes everyone sad. He worries about making the songs that he sings are in the public domain, and Usidore thinks the entire notion is absurd. Arnie further confuses everyone by singing the "Batman smells" version of "Jingle Bells". Usidore is particularly interested in the "bat man". Arnie's favorite songs are the sad ones, and Usidore is surprised that the color blue is associated with sadness. Glenn Miller reads a poem about the flying deer.

Gifts! Usidore got Chunt a rock that Chunt says makes him feel like he can fly and Usidore says to hang onto it. Usidore gives Arnie a plain old rock that has no magic powers because Arnie doesn't like Usidore's magical rocks. Arnie made Usidore a bag to hold his rocks from his pants, and it can hold about two rocks. Arnie gives Chunt a sculpture of the both of them out of wet mud because there was no kiln. It turns out the mud is actually mostly shit, as it came from the ditch where Chris shits. Arnie gives Mundle the Grundle a vibraslap. Usidore goes into the wizard state while talking about cake and pie. Usidore got Wonder Twin Rocks for Glenn and Spants rocks: touch them together and say the magical words, and Glenn can turn into any form of water, and Spants can turn into any animal. Spants might be able to turn into a badger, and then be able to get with Chunt and wont be looking at herself forever. Chunt then reveals that his cockroach girlfriend went to Make Out Point and she died there. He chooses to take out his feelings on Chris.

Usidore has another gift for Arnie. He went to the court of Titania Belaroth and was granted a special boon: a parchment that declares "Arnie Niekamp to be a full citizen of Foon, with all the rights and privileges there within." It turns out that without this, he could have been thrown into prison at any time. Spants and Glenn Miller's gift to Arnie is to sing a perfect C, and their bodies combine and fill their bodies with joy and things you have never felt. Chunt sees his future and Usidore ruins his pants. After the emails, they do another round of Chrismust, and Arnie does a really good job.

After the episode, the Mysterious Man says that Tricia #8049 was the one who shot him. It also seems that he celebrates Gunderstein.

Songs

Spants and Glenn Miller perform:

Emails

  • A listener suggests that Arnie wants to be called that because "Arnold Niekamp" is an anagram for "dark mole pain", which could mean he is in fact the Dark Lord. Chunt asks Arnie if he is the Dark Lord, and Arnie says no.
  • Listening gave a listener confidence to become a mall Santa and stay in character, Arnie explains who Santa is.
  • A listener's 15 year old daughter is interested in the podcast, and they would like a shout-out in time for Hanukkah. However, as they are only on episode 10, they ask them to time-travel and give her a shout out in, say, episode 11 or 12. Usidore cannot time travel, he is not Can the Wizard.

Distress Call

Kern makes another distress call. He just rememebred he thinks he left his space heater on at home. Could someone go to his house and check it out? He doesn't want to burn down the neighborhood.

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