43 Sharks
Sharks
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Air Date: January 4, 2016 Episode Link
Previous Episode Episode 43 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Louis A. Shark and Lois, A Shark
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Chris Rathjen Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Sponsored by: Iron Galaxy via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative

Description

"This week I meet two Sharks, but only one of them is a literal shark. I mean I GET IT, but it still seems more confusing than it needs to be."

Summary

Chunt starts by telling us a little about Foonish culture. Arnie claims he has been "pre-training" to go dungeon crawling by doing a "couple" crunches. Foonian exercise, on the other hand, is simply survival. Chunt's been playing a lot of Offices & Bosses, and his character Dan Smith just leveled up because he took an 85 minute lunch break and no one noticed. Usidore, with the help of Grimhoof, murdered a shadow demon. Their guests today are Louis A. Shark and Lois, A Shark, who are Foonian explorers. Louis is a human and the captain of the admiralty board in the Foonish Navy, and Lois is an actual shark. They met on Louis' "29th" (actually 30 or 40th) birthday, when he was trying to circumnavigate Foon. His crewmates caught a shark — Lois — that Louis could mount on his wall, but he ended up befriending her. Louis' exploration comes from Queen Titania's desire to know what was on the corners of the map of Foon, and he talks about his travels, like discovering the She'Yong Delta. Lois gets emotional talking about having to turn on her own kind to help Louis, and tells us her story of meeting Louis, enticed by watching him and his crew having beach parties for about four years. Louis confirms that the two are in fact lovers, usually when Louis cleans out Lois' tank. She has only had one shark boyfriend, Chris, and that relationship ended when she ate him.

After the break, Louis tells us about the rest of his journey to circumnavigate Foon, and describes the trip after discovering the delta. The open ocean contains islands galore, and Louis talks about their wonders. Chunt also visited some islands when he was a seal (he also dated a very attractive woman then, as well). Unfortunately, Louis could not visit as many of the islands as he would have liked, because the four-year beach party had taken up most of his time and gold. However, the expedition was very dangerous, and crew members frequently disappeared until the only crew left were Louis and Lois. Louis' theory is that the crew members were simply having so much fun on any particular island that they wanted to stay, although he was confused that all their belongings were left behind. In addition, most of their diaries ended with the phrase "aaaaah", which could be interpreted screaming, but also an epiphany, or a reference to the great explorer Adam Alonzo Aurlio Animo Ayodoyo Harris. However, Chunt and Arnie think that Lois had in fact eaten the missing crewmembers.

Chunt tries in vain to get Louis to run while Louis talks about recruiting for their upcoming second voyage. Arnie eventually just confronts Lois about it, and she admits to in fact having eaten them. But Louis forgives her once she explains that she wouldn't have eaten him, and in fact proposes to her using the nose ring from one of the slain crewmembers.

Foon Sponsor

Otok Barleyfoot gives us a free rumor of the week: There is a potential spice embargo happening in Migas, which has many tavern and innkeepers up in arms because they are worried about spiced potato production, and asks listeners to come down for some mozzarella wands.

Emails

A listener suggests to bring plenty of health potions when dungeoning; Usidore can create them. He is turning 30 soon and hopes to get a birthday wish on the podcast. His wife's birthday is near then. Arnie is also turning 40 near that day as well. Then, to save time, the cast wishes all the people on Earth a happy birthday, and lists off the names of everyone on Earth. Chunt doesn't know his birthday, and considers setting his birthday to January 4th — Sarah's birthday.

Additional Appearances

Earth References

Notes

Behind the Scenes

Usidore, Lois (a shark), Louis A. Shark, Chunt, Arnie
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