|Air Date: February 1, 2016||Episode Link|
|Previous Episode||Episode 47||Next Episode|
|Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore||Guests: Otok Barleyfoot, Flower, Krom the Barbarian|
|Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi|
|Editor: Evan Jacover||Theme Music: Andy Poland||Logo: Allard Laban|
|Audio Assistance: Jason Knox|
|Sponsored by: Basecamp via The Chicago Podcast Cooperative|
"Finally someone in Foon is going on an actual quest. It’s not Usidore. It’s Otok Barleyfoot, off to find his daughter Activia."
Arnie begins the episode by asking if Chunt is feeling better about the situation with Krebeccak. Chunt thinks that he is, now that he's discovered that she was not actually killed by a werewolf, but only murdered by Honk the Assassin. He concludes that it's better to have closure.
Usidore mentions that he is thinking about getting Can the Wizard either "a ball of pure light that will enlighten his soul and bring pure joy to his life every day, or a gravy boat" as a belated wedding gift. Nobody is sure who Can has married. Arnie has still not met Can, but says he has heard the wizard seems hip and young like a 20-year-old.
Arnie introduces regular guest Otok Barleyfoot, who apparently has a big new quest lined up. Usidore begins to remind everyone that he also has a big quest to defeat The Dark Lord, but is interrupted by Arnie who is much more interested in talking to Otok.
Otok's quest is to find his daughter Activia, who has been missing for almost 2 years. He hasn't gone on a quest to find her sooner because he was nervous about leaving The Vermilion Minotaur in the care of Blemish, who is currently in the Tavern kitchen cooking up a batch of candied beets. Arnie points out that on the topic of candied beets, he and Usidore are in agreement for once and do not like them. The Vermilion Minotaur has a special on candied beets this month, but spiced potatoes haven't been seen as much. They are not available due to a spice embargo in Migas. Otok still has a very limited vacuum-packed supply of spices.
Otok says he's finally had a heart-to-heart with Blemish and is ready to hand over the reins while he goes on his quest to contact Activia. Arnie wants to know why Otok has decided to trust Blemish, who Arnie thinks is still creepy and awful. Otok mentions an old legend that says for every evil, there is good within in a creature. When pressed for details, Otok elaborates: Legend has it that the first evil being that existed in Foon was terrorizing the land around the time that other creatures were starting to be created, but it eventually turned out the evil creature wasn't so bad. Usidore mentions that Otok's older brother Olmec Barleyfoot, a bard, tells much better legends.
In the middle of trying to find out who Otok's "quest Fellowship" is, Krom arrives at the table. Otok has mended fences with him after Krom destroyed the Vermilion Minotaur in a rage and murdered countless people. Krom says he feels terrible about the whole incident, and Usidore clarifies that it was not "countless" people but actually just 32 (so apparently he did count). Arnie, being bad with math, did not.
Krom has come, hat in hand (literally), to offer his allegiance to Otok on his quest. Actually the hat is a little small, but it was the only size they had so he's trying to make it work because he likes it so much. Krom is also carrying Flower in his other hand. Flower also has a hat, which is even tinier than Krom's.
Arnie refers to Flower as "Flower the talking flower" and Usidore goes on a small rant about not having to say "the talking" after the name of every creature in Foon. In fact the only creature that doesn't talk is Mundle the Grundle.
Flower is going on Otok's quest because she had an open calendar, and because it takes her so long to walk anywhere now that she's learned how, she decided she'd rather be anywhere than where she currently is. Flower reveals she is also a licensed interventionist, but doesn't practice much because she usually doesn't care. This quest might turn a new leaf for her.
Everyone was to have written letters to Activia to ask her to come back, as a kind of an intervention. However, Chunt just wrote a letter to Arnie, and Krom wrote one to Otok. Krom reads his, which is apologizing for his past behavior, which apparently also included a surprising amount of feces. Krom wrote the letter as part of his healing process after seeing a feelings healer, and he is now 30 days rage free. Otok suggests, however, that he might need to ask Krom to give up his streak to help the quest in case of an emergency, which troubles Krom. Flower is actually seeing the same feelings healer, which is where Krom and Flower met and became friends. Otok asks the same of Flower, but she isn't troubled because she's not even bothering to try and go rage free.
Usidore, meanwhile, seems upset and "desperate" that he was not even asked to go on the quest with them. His desperation is so palpable that everyone there has also written a letter for his intervention. Arnie's letter gets his name mostly wrong, worries about Usidore's constant strokes, and suggests that Usidore take a year or two off. Otok's letter states how much he cares for him despite Usidore's ineptitude, but laments that Usidore has been little help in finding Activia, and worries that Usidore will "ruin" her. Krom's letter suggests that Usidore cool it on the Dark Lord talk. Flower makes everyone kiss Arnie after they read their letter to Usidore.
Finally, it is time for the party to depart, and everyone readies their gift of good travels (except Arnie, who didn't know a gift was necessary). Chunt gives them some killer tofu. Arnie gives Otok his Best Buy card; Krom his belt (to be used as a hat strap); and re-gifts Gorgeous the potato to Flower. Usidore gives Flower a magical lariat, to use to capture her enemies (or kill herself); Krom a newborn sword, Gorgeous a potion to grow legs; and to Otok a resonance stone (often called "rockie-talkies") so that he can communicate to Usidore and the podcast throughout his quest, and a stone that will play some music. Usidore has another "refreshing" stroke while presenting these, and Honk appears out of nowhere to revive him.
Blemish shows up with some candied beets, and Otok asks him to work with Arnie to keep the tavern in order. It is Arnie's first job in Foon, and he is given a Vermilion Minotaur robelet. After the emails, Blemish leads the group in the Traveler's Prayer:
May the road be dusty
May your travelers be musty
And may all your swords and daggers be trusty
- The Vermilion Minotaur has some cats that have not come out of Blemish's mouth. But they also have a lot that have come from Blemish.
- A listener explains the concept of male and female babies being born in any order, as on Foon, the order is strict. They also explain candy bars as well as the Hershey company. Then they ask Usidore to make a tiny horse with 25 buttholes, and he obliges. Everyone agrees that 25 is too many buttholes, Flower names it Hershey, and Gorgeous rides it around.
- A listener asks Arnie how many buttholes Otok has, as Otok is half-elf. Is it 2 or is it 1.5? Otok says he has two buttholes and one vestigial one which is dry and scrapy.