55 Homunculus
Homunculus
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Air Date: March 28, 2016 Episode Link
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Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Metanoid
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Additional Sound Effects: Jason Knox

Description

"I always thought it was weird how Usidore saves his bodily fluids. This week I learn why. It’s still weird."

Summary

Usidore has a new name: Baggle Me Fingles! Chunt says Usidore was sleeping and blurted out the name that the tree people of Toremp(?). Chunt’s Final Fantasy 2 is to have Arnie say the introduction in a sexy voice. He stops him about two lines in and says it’s not working for him, so he tries it out himself. No, Arnie, no one was jerking it listening to either of you attempt your sexy intro. Except for maybe when Usidore tried it.

Usidore had been researching butt soup. Arnie had been researching how to reverse Chunt’s curse. Twitter, of course, has some advice:

-Pick up a blessed coin.
-Pickle a seal tail in whale bile and sleep with it in your second butthole for one night.
-Have sex with someone immune to curses (maybe a blue tiger?).
-Pass the curse on to someone else.

Metanoid Smanghanger the Homunculus is this week’s guest. He is a blood/urine/feces/semen homunculus. His master is Blorf the Brown (Smanghanger the Diminished). Usidore doesn’t care for him as a wizard. Since the kiln incident, Blorf will not leave the house and has left Metanoid to run errands.

Chunt asks Metanoid if he has any dreams or aspirations. His aspiration is basically just to live as long as possible. If Blorf falls asleep, Metanoid will just turn into a pile of juices. Usidore asks if Metanoid can help his master. Metanoid helps by wooing women for his master, collecting pizza and clearing out bats.

Arnie asks what it was like being created. While Metanoid was a formless pudding, he felt himself being formed like coming out of deep sleep. Also, Metanoid is made of a mix of runes (Me, ta, no, and duh).

Usidore tried to make a homunculus but he got tired of pooping into a pail, and decided to just get out some more.

Metanoid states that when he’s not running Blorf’s errands, he hangs out with the homuncuguys and plays Ball in the Basket. Chunt explains how to play Ball in the Basket. Spoiler alert: it’s basketball minus the three-pointers.

Chunt asks Metanoid if he knows of anything to get rid of his curse. His answer is to create a homunculus and pass the curse to it.

Arnie asks Metanoid if he eats and he states that he doesn’t need to eat but does it anyway for shock effect.

Arnie asks if there are other famous homunculi. Usidore tells him about Torrence, the first homunculus that was made of rock, water, fire, and air. Malek was another one. They met and fought one another and thus lived on forever.

Emails

From Terran – She lets her son Jude (Hey Jude) who is 7 listen to the podcast and he wants to know if Chunt found the portal to Earth, would he eat at Burger King?

Answer: He would sample some of the fare.

From Josiah - The podcast got picked up by the Earwolf network. Also, is there such a thing as an Earwolf on Foon?

Answer: They are the most dangerous wolves with 6 ears.

From Madison – A young girl who has been diagnosed with a chronic illness stumbled upon the podcast and thanks the gang for bringing a smile to her face in otherwise dark times. Also, Arnie, don’t fuck any more memory gremlins, okay?

Answer: Madison, watch out for Metanoid who wants to crawl next to your pillow.

Foon Sponsor

Additional Appearances

Musical guests Marilyn the Gorgon and Her Backup Snakes; introduced by Spants

Earth References

My Humps
Biting the heads off of bats
Cookie Monster
Writing like I’m running out of time (Hamilton)

Notes

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