Season 1, Ep 67 – Ooze
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date June 20, 2016
Episode no. S01E67
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Ooze
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Ryan DiGiorgi
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Cards Against Humanity
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"Ooze" is the sixty-seventh episode of season one of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on June 20, 2016. This episode features Paul Grondy as the Ooze.


"I stepped on some ooze in the dungeon and then became friends with it… him… them?"


The goon companions are in good spirits after Chunt's recovery. There has been no news of King Albain Belaroth's death, either in Hogsface or Scrr, which Usidore visited that week to check rumors. Arnie is hopeful that Dorian Deville may have been mistaken or lying when he declared the king was dead.

Arnie and Chunt pressure Usidore for one of his secret names, and Chunt guesses Susan Doku, which Usidore admits is a fake identity he uses to occasionally teach math at Phoenix University.

The guest is a pile of Ooze that Arnie met in the dungeon where he has been questing for the Lunar Sword. While able to spread through the dungeon, and send a bit of itself with Arnie, the ooze has a mass consciousness, and any two pools join their consciousness and personality when combined. The ooze defends the dungeon by slowly dissolving anything it that touches it, but admits the speed of dissolving is slow enough that it only poses a threat to adventurers who find themselves unable to move away or brush it off.

Ooze gain the memories of anything they successfully absorb, and the ooze tells of a dwarvish paladin it once dissolved. The paladin in question was a singer, and the Ooze sings a selection from Foon's most popular musical, The Music Man. Chunt says the song is popular with Haircuttery Quartets, a group of four singers, and he, Arnie, Usidore and the Ooze sing another song.

After the sponsor break, Usidore feeds a chicken leg to the ooze, which experiences the chicken's whole life, and can remember its family history and sudden death.

When bored, Ooze will play Ooze Ball with itself, which consists of rolling around adventurer bones until they dissolve. The ooze expresses a desire to have a vase that it can exist in without dissolving, and has specific designs and vase shapes in mind. While the companions can't come up with a vase that Ooze won't eventually dissolve, Usidore does cast a spell to keep the shape of its preferred vase through the course of the interview.

Arnie asks the Ooze for advice on how to progress through the dungeon, but the Ooze's suggestions focus around being a viscous liquid and squeezing through small cracks. He does warn Arnie of obstacles and very powerful obstacles and foes who live deeper in the dungeon, including a Hydra which the Ooze has a very bad relationship with. Usidore suggests the Ooze role play the conversation it would like to have with the Hydra and transforms himself into a Hydra for that purpose. The conversation is respectful, but Arnie promises to invite the Ooze if he ever plans on fighting the real Hydra, which the Ooze appreciates.

At the end of the episode, the Ooze, Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore sing another selection from The Music Man.

Foon sponsor

Blemish does a spot about how he has taken over The Vermilion Minotaur while Otok Barleyfoot is off on his quest to find his daughter, and how one day all of Hogsface will bow before him. Also, every Tuesday is Barleywine Tuesday during the season of Vwishtash.

Emails and packages

  • A listener sends a Smash Mouth CD, which he hopes will either cure Chunt (having sent it before the cure) or revive him
  • A listener sends a crocheted Chunt doll with two buttholes
  • A listener sends Mexican candy that Chunt does not enjoy; Chunt shares it with the Ooze, who also finds it terrible

Earth references

Behind the scenes

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Arnie, Usidore, Ooze, Chunt
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