Season 1, Ep 75 – Make-Up Artist
Make-Up Artist
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date August 15, 2016
Episode no. S01E75
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Germ Crust the Make-Up Artist
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Garrett Schultz
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Cards Against Humanity, Lumi Consulting, Now Hear This Podcast Festival, Shooty Skies for iOS and Android
Episode chronology
← Previous Next →
"Letters and Packages" "Pandenomicon"
List of episodes

"Make-Up Artist" is the seventy-fifth episode of season one of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on August 15, 2016.


"An ambitious young make-up artist from the Unmarked Territories is ready to join Usidore's quest."


Arnie opens the podcast as usual, introduces Chunt first, and then Usidore. Then introduces Chunt again, like he forgot he’d already done so. Usidore accuses him of having a red potion problem, which Arnie refutes. They have a conversation about how being a dad is a superpower (prompted by Arnie’s mug that is filled with red potion) and Arnie introduces Chunt for a third time.

Arnie is having some real bad memory issues, but he’s full of energy and runs to the bar to get drinks for the table at Chunt’s request, leaving him and Usidore alone at the table to talk. Chunt and Usidore decide that one of them has to kill Arnie at the end of the episode, as his memory is too far gone to save.

Arnie introduces Germ Crust, a make-up artist from the Unmarked Territory, a wasteland full of crumbs. Germ ran away from there and transferred to Foon. Her make-up line, Crust Foundation, specializes in textures and considers itself very inclusive. Germ reveals herself to be a big fan of Usidore, as she uses light and shadow to create contours.

Arnie inquires what sort of things she makes her make-up out of, to which she replies things such as berries, stones, and her very own blood.

Chunt moves Germ’s chair closer to Usidore so that they can get to know each other better. Usidore asks her if she’ll join his quest to defeat the Dark Lord, to which she quickly and gladly agrees! A make-up artists on the quest seems insignificant, but Germ assures that her skills work very well on the dead as well and that she’ll be very valuable. Usidore also proposes that she’ll also be able to prop up dead bodies and make them up to look alive to scare his enemies. Also, a little bit of make-up makes you feel good.

Germ says that she actually specializes in “ribbed” faces like Usidore’s (“Just real fucked up faces?” — Arnie). She says that she uses clay, meat, or feathers to elongate his beard, and that she’d give Usidore a feather beard free of charge while his beard grows back, stuck on with spit.

Coming back from the ad break, Arnie introduces Chunt for the fourth time and his nose starts to bleed. Germ asks him to collect his blood in a mug for her to use.

Usidore has had his make over during the ad break, which he says makes him feel proud, confident, and masculine (he has a feather beard). He asks what sort of maintenance he’ll need to do to take care of his new beard. Germ offers to fluff it for him during the quest.

Germ also reveals that she has some money to her name, given her business, and talks about how because she didn’t have a family she had to disguise herself as things in the street.

Usidore asks what the most interesting creatures she’s done make-up for is, to which she replies a ghost. Three ghosts have actually been haunting her the whole time. They begin to chase Pizza Skull around the tavern like Pac-Man.

Chunt asks Germ that if, say, Arnie for example was killed at the end of this episode, she would be able to make him up to look like he’s still alive, then admits to Arnie that he and Usidore were planning to kill him.

Chunt and Usidore confront Arnie about his red potion problem. Arnie agrees to cool it by having only… 4 or 5 mugs of red potion a day.

Arnie thanks Germ for joining them and reads an email from a former infantry man turned cook looking for a job in Foon.

Next week, they’ll talk about the Foo Fighters.

Earth references

Behind the scenes

Make-Up Artist
Image Unavailable
Arnie, Usidore, Germ Crust, Chunt
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License