80 Inta and Nerf
Inta and Nerf
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Air Date: September 19, 2016 Episode Link
Previous Episode Episode 80 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Inta and Nerf
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Garrett Schultz Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz
Sponsored by: Cards Against Humanity and Blue Apron

Description

"It’s Sunday in the tavern so let’s talk to two of our old goblin friends."

Summary

Chunt follows his intro with “bangarang!”, which he says is a magical stick that always comes back to you. Arnie has an existential crisis about things that don’t come back, then provides an update on his search for the Lunar Sword; he’s found a portal in a well in Hogsface that leads to the start of the second level of the dungeon.

Usidore tries to follow Chunt’s suit and just yells “GRAVY BOAT” after his intro. Arnie fails to make this an analogy, but may have the new catchphrase “and then?”. They try to be supportive during Usidore’s full name; he doesn’t like it.

It’s Sunday in the tavern so goblins are allowed and Inta and Nerf have returned as guests. Inta has had another 18.5 kids, and is pregnant again, bringing the current total to 35.5. She offers goblin milk to them again. Usidore explains he used the milk he obtained previously to make a potion of “Grand Healing” for mortal wounds, and making fun of him saying “o’er” becomes a runner.

Arnie is unimpressed by the Foonian horn pump system Inta is using while working. Both Inta and Nerf are part of the Goblin Queen Fibro Myalgia’s campaign to take over Foon, getting signatures door-to-door. Chunt and Arnie start to wonder whether King Albain’s reign is biased against goblins, and the Goblin Queen only seems evil because she’s being judged unfairly as a woman.

Arnie inquires about why they’re supporting Fibro Myalgia. Inta and Nerf say a Goblin Queen ruling Foon would be inspirational for their kids. Usidore asks if they’re willing to fight in the inevitable war that would ensue if she overthrows the current government. Nerf waffles and says he’s busy building a model vintage ’65 wagon. Inta says she’s the more stable one, and the warrior; and is willing to take up arms. Chunt asks about her weapons preference; she replies that when not barehanded she prefers to use the severed arms (and weapons) of her enemies. Nerf admits he is a “home goblin”, and prefers sewing, making soup, candles and taking care of their kids, in traditional goblin fashion.

Arnie comes back from the sponsor break questioning his preconceptions of goblins, and asks Inta and Nerf to roleplay coming to his door with their petition. Chunt volunteers to be the door, with Usidore as the bird who dresses Arnie every morning. He’s very surprised to learn why he’s always dressed in the mornings. Inta and Nerf’s pitch is simple; would you like to die now, or later? Their clarification makes it sound like death is pretty certain either way.

Arnie asks Inta and Nerf to step into the roleplay hall so he can ask his door and bird for advice. Both agree they’re definitely threatening to kill him. The bird thinks he should sign; Usidore doesn’t. The door has no opinion but they manage to get to an “a-door-able” joke anyway.

In the roleplay, Arnie asks for a third option and they agree to defer his decision for a week, and give him a model of a button to wear.

With the roleplay over, Arnie laments the challenge of staying in character as himself. Inta and Nerf say that they usually don’t get much resistance, and the only downside to signing is a lot of junk mail.

They repeat the roleplay with Usidore playing a goblin, Chunt as a dinner roll and Arnie as the house ghost all goblins apparently have. Inta and Nerf criticize Usidore’s goblin character voice as offensive, but Arnie nails the ghost. They start over and Usidore immediately offends them by choosing the name of Inta’s first mate, which she created from her body. They try again, and he uses her dead father’s name. On the third try, he goes with Tony.

Chunt takes a time out to admit that he lied earlier; a bangarang isn’t a magical stick, it’s when you bang an orangutan.

Inta and Nerf explain in the roleplay that a loyal goblin will sign, but later will have to kill the non-goblin closest to him. Tony the goblin’s house ghost Arnie warns him of the tortures of the afterlife. Tony still takes their lawn sign in time to make it to his wedding later that day.

Arnie touts the benefits of roleplay, and Inta and Nerf get it on at the table in character as a human and possibly a ship captain.

Wrapping up, Inta and Nerf point out that it’s really their fault that Fibro Myalgia decided to rise up at all, on account of the magical confidence rock from Usidore. He looks for an out by saying all his rocks are magical except that one. Arnie discovers that he signed the petition for real.

Chunt reads an email from Kevin Bradshaw: what’s the worst thing you’ve changed into? Answer: an aphid, because it was so dangerous being so tiny. Usidore also brings up the time he was a very stupid dog.

Usidore has a package from Drew Grant of the New York Observer, with branded t-shirts and a copy of their magazine. Chunt pitches Bluesidore as a new name.

Arnie reads an email from a person who wants to know if “Boys’ Night” is a reference to the “Boys’ Knight”, claiming he’s a legendary Foonian figure who forced a child army to fight a religious war against the goblins. Answer: no, but Inta and Nerf confirm this story.

Mark and Mary Nymphius ask for a summary of the past 70 or so episodes. Answer, from Usidore: “Arnie did nothing, I am amazing.” They then try to actually summarize it.

Earth References

Notes

Arnie learns that little animals normally dress some inhabitants of Foon, including himself.

In the Space Bunker, the Mysterious Man is about to say which regular character is secretly the Dark Lord, but is interrupted by Tricia 8050.

Behind the Scenes

Inta and Nerf
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Usidore, Inta, Chunt, Nerf, Arnie
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