86 Overworked Fairy
Overworked Fairy
Air Date: November 7, 2016 Episode Link
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Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Ross the Fairy
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Chris Rathjen Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Cards Against Humanity and Loot Crate


"This week we learn what life is like for the fairy-folk."


Chunt is looking a little different this week, with the addition of some new piercings by his friend Claire (a stud in one ear, a hoop in the other, a labret, and after a brief moment where Arnie thinks he means his penis, his shoulder). Usidore finishes his name extremely quietly, the others join in, and it briefly turns into an ASMR podcast. Chunt admits that when Arnie isn’t around, they sometimes take his equipment and record a podcast called “Usidore’s Enunciation”, which is just Usidore doing vocal warmups while Chunt acts as his hype man. Arnie discovers that they don’t really know how the equipment works, and haven’t been uploading or even recording the podcast. He’s delighted to not be the clueless one for once; but Usidore and Chunt insist they know a lot about Earth, and list all the references they know.

Arnie introduces their guest, Ross the fairy. He immediately offends her by calling her adorable, but she claps back with a pretty good barb about his penis size. Chunt confirms that he and Ross went to Patchouli Grade School together, which is well known for smelling terrible (because it was built atop a dead ogre).

Ross describes an average day for a fairy; she gets up very early and works a 20 hour day, but is only paid for six. Her fairy duties include enchanting people, and improving the mood at parties. She does actually like her job, but doesn’t like the circumstances. Usidore points out that she does have one of the better fairy jobs, and Ross agrees; many fairies are stuck living in shoes, or waking up the sun, which is a very slow job involving a lot of fairies. There’s also very little job mobility in the fairy world; they’re pre-selected for tasks based on their parents’ jobs.

Arnie asks if she’d do something else given the choice. She says she’d like to tell stories through song, and asks for a problem to do a song about. Usidore says he has a friend who’s worried about a long-term relationship, and Ross sings a song about things which are far away being smaller. Chunt asks for a song based on Arnie thinking earlier that he’d pierced his penis, and says he’ll sing the resulting song to it every night at bedtime. Arnie asks for one based on his distress over being separated from his family, but is flustered when Ross’ song is about how he should stop whining.

In lieu of a drink from the bar, Ross requests a teacup to sit in since she’s been flying the whole time.

After the sponsor break, Arnie expresses his sadness that the fairies apparently bring so much joy to Foon, but their own lives are fairly terrible. Ross adds that on top of their 20 hour days, they only see in black and white dots, and confirms that their king and queen are in rehab for sex stuff. Arnie wonders if there are groups for that at the Learning Onyx where he’s been going for meetings for red potion addiction, and mentions they also have AA (a room where you must choose between two apples) and WightWatchers (for those trying to lose wights). Ross continues that their overlords will cut breaks, step on their toes, or clip their wings for talking back. She mentions her serious problem with sass, and Arnie learns that fairies don’t have tongues. Ross gets another dick joke in at Arnie’s expense when he asks to see inside her mouth.

Ross asks to plug her show, where she stands on a corner and “burns” people; she insults them and then throws a match at their face, Thursdays and Tuesdays. Arnie asks her to demonstrate on Chunt, and she delivers a fairly confusing burn about Chunt’s butt and his mother, which seems to achieve the desired effect.

Arnie asks if there’s any way for them to help the fairies’ cause, and Ross invites all the fairies to come to her set at Dickens and they’ll talk afterwards. She specifies that no non-fairies, or “scawbs” (people pretending to be fairies) are allowed. She says they’re always obvious, especially when they’re human size and wearing fake wings. They’re also critical of fairies that need applause to live.

Ross continues that she’s planning a minute-long peaceful protest in which the fairies will form the shape of one giant fairy, knock on the king’s door, and tell him to treat them better. Usidore asks what the endgame for the protest is; Ross says they subscribe to fairy thinker Tarles Barx and believe the workers should own the means of production. Chunt interrupts to ask about Ross’ ex, Rachel, because Karl Marx makes him think of Friends.

Usidore wants to help the fairy cause so since fairies are too small for magical rocks, he gives Ross a dust mote which will increase the likelihood of desires coming true by 25%. She is not particularly impressed. Arnie asks Ross if she’s willing to do some magic. She tells them to close their eyes and picture the best food they’ve ever seen, but have never eaten because it was behind glass. Then she tells them to reach into their left pocket. Arnie finds his own penis, because apparently that’s what Chunt was picturing, and are we really writing this in the summary? Guess so. Usidore finds an illegal mermaid filet.

Chunt groans when Arnie asks “what’s next?”. Ross replies probably the bathroom, and Arnie can’t resist asking about fairy poop, but she threatens to make him reach in his pocket for some. Arnie backs off and promises to treat his penis better at bedtime.

Email from Tim Rapp: requesting that Usidore test a ritual, which is just the Hokey Pokey.
Answer: he does it, and they claim it makes all their dicks bigger. He repeats the spell for bonus effect, and Arnie declares loudly but with very little conviction - while giggling - that it’s all canon. Usidore makes a highly questionable request to the audience to get their fanart ready, and everyone deeply regrets that this is all on the wiki now.

A perfect segue to an email from 17 year old Megan in Prague: she’s just learned her parents are getting divorced and the podcast has been a comfort. Is there any advice from Arnie on being far from family, from Chunt on having divorced parents, words of wisdom generally from Usidore?
Answer: Chunt suggests that her dad should always stays hungry, and that her mom should be a manticore. Usidore pulls a tonal 180 worthy of a Fast & Furious movie and says something incredibly sweet and moving about how she’ll never be alone because family is always in your heart. He also says that the forces of nature that birthed him are often in conflict, and that’s totally normal. Chunt adds you also get two Chris-Musts. Arnie tells her to keep loving her family, find good friends, and not listen to the episode in which they tried to help.

They realize that the dick situation is overwhelming and impractical for the fairy and Usidore undoes his Hokey Pokey spell, to Arnie and Chunt’s chagrin, saying it’s canon. Arnie tries to make himself an exception as the music plays. Everyone has a lot of regrets.

Foon Sponsor

There is no Foon sponsor in this episode.

Additional Appearances

Post-credits scene features an episode of CraigCast because the rest of the bunker is doing sensitivity training. Craig reads an email from Mercury Starlight, who has come to believe that her family is from Foon and has sent in a recording of herself singing her favorite nursery song, “The Merchant of Backwater”, to the sponsor music.

Earth References


  • Ross' gender is not specifically stated, but they use "she" and "her" twice in the podcast.

Behind the Scenes

Overworked Fairy
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Arnie, Usidore, Ross the fairy, Chunt
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