97 Kobold
Kobold
magictavern1.png?w=250
Air Date: January 30, 2017 Episode Link
Previous Episode Episode 97 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Usidore, Chunt Guests: The Kobold Traach the Mercantile
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Offices and Bosses on Howl.fm, Death’s Mistress by Terry Goodkind (Tor Books), and ZipRecruiter

Description

"Time to stock up on supplies for our quest. And we’ve met a kobold who’s selling stuff."

Summary

Traach (pronounced "trash") is a kobold, a member of a crafty race of sentient vermin who serve the dragon tyrant who bestows their names upon them. The Dark Lord killed the dragon tyrant that Traach served right in front of the kobolds, so now they are selling all of the dragon's horde, and Traach the Lowly is now Traach the Mercantile.
Kobolds have a cloaca like chickens do (but unlike chickens, it is pronounced with a short a).

Some of the items Traach is selling:

  • Bone Seed: will grow a bone tree when planted. The bones can be used to decorate armor. If planted in a graveyard, there is a 1:10 change it will grow a monkey skull.
  • Healing Rock: bash it against the face of anyone injured, and will smash their face and heal them at the same time.
  • Bowl of Watery Death: a decorative bowl which will shrink whoever puts water in it, and they will fall in and drown.
  • Mystery Crates with mystery items inside

Traach has also encountered the missing badgers and tried to offer their services as sellswords. According to Traach they abandoned the greedy and foolish king who led their kingdom to ruin and are covered in burns from weeks of dungeon diving. Chunt did not want to see them.

The boys gave the bowl to Blemish (without telling him what it does) and purchased it for one gold piece. Usidore bought ten of the Mystery Crates for 1,000 gold pieces each. Chunt ordered a Fornication on the Beach from Blemish, who served it to him in the same bowl.

Foon Sponsor

Additional Appearances

Blemish

Earth References

Survivor
"I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly"
Loot Crate
Antique Roadshow
Smoking a bowl
Role playing
Home Alone
Hamilton
"Paint It Black" by the Rolling Stones
Tony! Toni! Toné!
Rocket Raccoon
Monkeybone
"Inside The House" urban legend

Notes

  • Usidore has roleplayed as a goblin named "Tony"
  • Usidore sings a song about kobolds, chickens, and cloacae
  • Craig does another episode of CraigCast, with guest star Robot Arnie, and a clip from Offices and Bosses episode 3 Singing Sword from I.T.
  • We discover that the spell cast to send Sarah back to Earth (and create a direct link so that Usidore can appear to her in spectral form) and bring Arnie back to Foon at the end of episode 94 also caused the gosssamer veil between worlds to be momentarily broke open so that most of the goblin army in Foon ended up transported to Chicago.
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License