Dwarfs

Dwarfs are a short, strong race in Foon. Many are brewers and vintners.

Dwarven Characteristics

  • Ride horses
  • Nurse until 50 but often marry by 30
  • Dwarven womens' nipples are as hard as iron
  • Dwarven mens' penises are as hard as stone
  • Often participate in costume play
  • Don't like water, and bathe in a Chardonnay blend made from the grapes that don't make it into their varietals

Culture & History

  • The Dwarfs know the wizard Usidore the Blue as Zoenen Hoogstandjes. In the past they referred to Can the Yellow as Canned Heat, currently call him Canticle Lebowitz, and will, according to him, someday know him as Canban Scrummaster.
  • The Dwarfish city of Mount Brewhead is found on Brewhead Mountain.1
  • There is a legend and/or nursery rhyme in Foon about a famous bisectual dwarf.2
  • The Pinglets were decimated in the Pinglet-Dwarf Wars, so that there are very few today.3
  • A common affliction for Dwarf is Dwarf Lung, when diamond and jewel dust clog their lungs.4
  • In areas the Dark Lord has conquered, large open pit mines are common and have resulted in many jobs for dwarfs who wish are willing to take them.5
  • Dwarfs are able to make magical amulets capable of storing enormous amounts of magic.6

Notable Dwarfs

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