Fooniverse - Spintax's Potions, Poisons and Pies
Fooniverse - Spintax's Potions, Poisons and Pies
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date May 19, 2022
Episode no.
Episode Link
Hosts Spintax
Guests Ahag, Dripfang LeDesparé, Reynaldo
Producers Matt Young
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Editor Chris Rathjen
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Fooniverse - Transdimensional Deliveryman Returns" "Fooniverse - Earth Comics: Garfield"
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"Fooniverse - Spintax's Potions, Poisons and Pies" is a Patreon bonus episode of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on May 19, 2022.


Spintax the Green travels across the land to eat and imbibe at Foon's wildest pie and potion shops.


Starting with its own theme song, Spintax the Green introduces Potions, Poisons, and Pies, a series where he tries the three p’s for his listeners.

The first location leads Spintax to a modest village with a piece of shit of a hovel. A person, later revealed to be Buxton, opens up the door and calls for his Master to welcome Spintax. However, Spintax is not looking for these two, who make barbecue, but Ahag, who is known to make pies. Ahag calls Spintax from the bush that she lives in. She uses the hovel as the closest address. Spintax gives the Master a goblin quadriceps to barbecue while he talks to Ahag. She has made a snail pie, in which the snails are still alive in the pie to preserve its flavor. The key is to tease and neg the snails to get them pissed as the snail punch will pack the umami. Spintax also notices the flaky crust of the pie, which is made of dirt. It is hard to swallow, but it is important to chew to get the vitamins, specifically Vitamin 4.Buxton comes up with his and his Master’s creation: barbecue unicorn in bread, but it does not constitute as pie. Turns out, the definition of a Potion, a Position, or a Pie is not clear, so Spintax explains it to them. The Master suggests that he and Buxton create their own spinoff series and Spintax leaves to find his next item.

At a huge castle, Spintax levitates over a moat to the entry. He is greeted by a man who says there is a new owner. When the new owner is retrieved, it is revealed to be Dripfang LeDesparé. Annoyed that he put so much effort to impress his guest, only for the guest to be one of the wizards, Dripfang reluctantly invites Spintax in. Dripfang introduces the zombie horde to Spintax. The zombies were the previous residents of the castle before Dripfang massacred them and resurrected them. Spintax brags about his abilities to compel the living and the dead by commanding the zombies to form a pyramid. One of them, Karen, seems to be too weak and may just be a frail human. The greeter, named Bernard, takes her place at the top of the pyramid. Their zombification came from a potion that he created, the very potion that appeals for Spintax's show.

Dripfang takes Spintax to the room where potions are made. There, Spintax is introduced to Kitten, a non-zombified stirrer who has doctorate, and Dog Food, an assistant to Kitten whose job is to stare at them and is relentless in that pursuit. Spintax asks for Dripfang's signature brew, which turns out to be the zombification potion demonstrated earlier. Spintax samples the concoction and Dripfang asks for a description of the full experience. Spintax succumbs to the zombification, only to shake it off moments later. Dog Food interrupts, asking the group questions about oranges. Dripfang eventually gets annoyed and tricks Dog Food to fall through a trap door and Spintax bids the group goodbye.

Spintax's last item leads him to The Dragon's Tooth, a milkshake store owned by Reynaldo. Spintax asks for his poison, but Reynaldo adamantly denies that he sells any. A woman approaches the counter, asking for her milkshake she has been waiting for 15 minutes for. A young boy also appears, as Reynaldo's milkshakes bring him over. Spintax enquires the boy if he had anyone who would miss him if he was gone, but the boy has no one and Spintax is ready to take him as a charge to fatten up. Meanwhile, Reynaldo finishes up both milkshakes. The lady asks many questions about the ingredients as the milkshake is for her son who is allergic to many things. Reynaldo reassures her that the milkshake should be fine and she leaves.

The two men are free to talk about Reynaldo's poisons. Reynaldo admits that the milkshakes are a cover as he sells his poisons while the young boy is still there to hear it all. He shows off the poison he is known for, Extract of Sex Act. The lady comes back in distress as her son died from the milkshake. Spintax offers to remedy the situation with magic, but ends up giving the young boy to the lady as he needs a parent and the lady bought too many socks so now she can give it to the young boy. As the two leave, Reynaldo rejoices in his completed revenge plot. Ten years ago, Reynaldo asked that lady for a loan of ten gold pieces to start up a legitimate milkshake stand. When she refused, he opened up The Dragon's Tooth and sold poisons, awaiting his opportunity to destroy what she held dear. With his objective complete, he is ready to close down shop. Spintax, annoyed that he was made an unwitting accomplice and does not want to take the time to wipe fingerprints, he sets the place on fire.

Spintax closes the show, disappointed that he did not find his last item. A badly burned Reynaldo finds this insulting. Spintax thought he died in the fire and finishes the job by putting an icicle through Reynaldo's brain. Spintax says it was a waste of time and encourages his listeners to like and subscribe.

Space Bunker Plot

Craig and PV3 stop at an intergalactic upscale grocery store and stock up for their road adventures. Some items that can be found are the following:

  • Carrots
  • Croutons
  • Vortex Aged Cherry Tomatoes
  • Live Lizard….thing
  • Horseradish Jepson (not the same as wasabi peas)
  • Blackhole Dressing (priced by the weight)
  • Caramel Corn
  • Raw Egg
  • Entire Pizza
  • Mini Sliders
  • Neomorph Chucks (stolen from the salad bar)

New Characters

  • Buxton and his Master
  • The Castle Zombies
    • Bernard
    • Elgenon
  • Karen
  • Kitten
  • Dog Food
  • The Lady and her Son
  • The Young Boy

Recurring Characters

Earth References

  • "Beauty in the eye of the beholder"
  • Heaven's Gate (religious group/cult)
  • Ice Hockey
  • Philadelphia
  • Jeopardy
    • potent potable
    • Daily Double
  • Don Quixote
  • HMO
  • Oakley Sunglasses
  • Guy Fieri, Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives
  • The Terrible Twos
  • "It Takes a Village…"
  • Bruce Almighty
  • Honeymooners
  • Bruce Wayne
  • Bruce Banner/Hulk
    • Grey Hulk/Joe Fixit
  • Mafia
  • "Milkshake" by Kelis
  • Peter Gaynor


Behind the Scenes

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