Glossary

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Accidental Adultery

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 28 Jun 2016 17:08

Accidental Adultery, or "AA", is a support group that ostensibly offers help to people who have committed accidental adultery. However, the meetings are normally just used as a a dating pool by those looking to commit adultery intentionally.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Bicur

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 06 Jan 2016 17:46

A bicur is a dog with two heads found in Foon.

Burger King

by hexfieldhexfield 20 Apr 2015 22:11

Burger King is a popular Earth restaurant. Arnie uses the wifi from one of the restaurant's locations (or as much of the signal is able to travel through the rift into Foon) to post his podcasts.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Chance Food

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 10 Aug 2015 18:26

A chance food is a food whose name starts with "may", indicating that there "may" be something unpleasant in it.

Chu Chu's Chow

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 22 Sep 2015 20:10

Chu Chu's Chow is the name of a late night tavern located in the haunted cabin hovering above the Purple Bog. It was destroyed in the Siege of Hogsface, but after The Dark Lord ceded control of Hogsface to Arnie and the gang, Chunt reopened it.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Death Parks

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 12 Aug 2015 16:34

A park where people go to die. The most famous is Topple Land, where you climb to the top of a tree, and someone knocks it over and kills you.

Dragons

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 17 May 2016 16:57

Not much is known about dragons on Foon, but they seem to be similar to Earth depictions. Their scales are known to catch and glisten in the light and are often used for decorations.

Dungeon

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 13 Jun 2016 22:08

Dungeons are very large, but incredibly labyrinth places, usually located underground, that are divided up into various levels. Dungeons contain many creatures and beasts, and on each progressive level they become more powerful. Usually there are very valuable items located deep within these dungeons, and very often the creatures in the dungeon are there to defend that treasure. Dungeons draw many adventurers who are looking to claim the treasure for themselves, or just get a good workout fighting the dangerous inhabitants. Although they will all fight adventurers who come into the dungeon, many denizens of dungeons are concerned with the public image of the dungeon, and treat adventurers like a customer, especially the ones who cannot be killed. Adventurers who cannot get as far as they'd like in the dungeon can improve their chances by taking the beat up armaments left by some of the weaker creatures, and turning them in for better weapons.

Dwarfs

by joecabjoecab 08 Dec 2016 15:54

Dwarfs are a short, strong race in Foon. Many are brewers and vintners.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Elf On A Shelf

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 07 Jun 2016 20:28

Elf On A Shelf Furniture is a business owned by D'athaniel Quen'yarvin, and sells custom cabinets, shelves, and other furniture. His furniture is crafted by a method of kicking, which uses a spiked boot as a lathe. This gives the furniture a vintage beaten and weathered look which appeals to Foonians. His business will ship furniture to any place on Foon, using a network of eagles, wyverns, spiders, and other creatures. It will ship unpackaged so as to get an even more battered and weathered look on the journey.

Elves

by joecabjoecab 18 Jul 2016 12:53

Elves are a race in Foon.

Eunuchs

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 24 Aug 2015 16:30

Eunuchs are people who have had their genitalia removed. In Foon, this grants them a number of magical abilities in addition to the non-magical ones attained by the mental focus that comes from a lack of sexual desire. Unlike eunuchs on Earth, the process is not permanent: their genitals are placed in a mason jar, kept moist by elf sweat, and can be reattached at any time.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Fairies

by inlittlestarsinlittlestars 14 Mar 2018 20:22

Fairies are a small humanoid species of Foon.

Festival Of Cunnilinga

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 30 Sep 2015 16:16

The Festival of Cunnilinga is an annual festival where year midwives gather. It features dance and wonderful music, and lasts until all the women present are satisfied with it and have gotten what they wanted. Attending the festival can be exhausting, and one's lips and tongue can tire long before the completion of the festival. Men are especially confused at the festival, and often get lost and don't know where to go.

Fingaria

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 31 Aug 2015 19:56

Fingaria is a country in the distant north, in the frozen tundra.

Foodorfight

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 22 Apr 2016 19:40

Foodorfight is a holiday on Foon where children roam Foon in packs or hordes, and you must either give them food or fight them to the death. Chunt personally attests to having killed a lot of kids during Foodorfight.

Foon

by Evan JacoverEvan Jacover 16 Apr 2015 01:32

Foon is a magical land that is connected to Earth through a magical portal behind a Burger King in Chicago.

Foonationism

by inlittlestarsinlittlestars 01 Mar 2018 15:25

Foonationism is a religious belief associated with the gods of Foon. It is unknown precisely which gods.

The Falsetto Marauders

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 11 Aug 2015 22:45

The Falsetto Marauders are a mercenary group of warriors that operate in McShingleshane Forest. Their warrior call is a falsetto ululation.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Garfunt

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 12 Oct 2015 16:51

A garfunt is a creature that matures in a single day. In the morning it begins in its larval stage, where it uses four tiny legs to swim around in ponds. Eventually it walks onto land and sheds two legs. Finally, it will grow a third leg and begin its reproductive cycle. Garfunts are usually found by bridges over troubled waters.

Giant Spiders

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 09 Jun 2016 15:23

Giant spiders are one of the many inhabitants of Foon. They often get work delivering supplies in the Southwest, as spiders are perfect for traversing the rocky terrain there. This is common enough that a Spider Transport Union exists to support giant spider laborers.

Gnomes

by inlittlestarsinlittlestars 13 Mar 2018 21:55

Gnomes are a small humanoid species roughly two to three squirrels tall. Gnomes can either be Guardin' Gnomes or Protected Gnomes.

Goblins

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 12 Aug 2015 20:22

Goblins are magical creatures from Foon which may be living in the Chicago area of Earth.

Gorgon

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 17 May 2016 17:57

A gorgon is a creature with snakes for hair, whose gaze will turn any living creature into stone.

Gratax

by Evan JacoverEvan Jacover 26 May 2015 15:40

Gratax is a town in Foon.

Great Blue Tigers

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 10 Aug 2015 21:48

Great Blue Tigers are one of the rarest, most majestic, and most powerful animals in all of Foon. There were only three left in the world, until one of them, Sapphire, died at Make Out Point on a date with Chunt, leaving only Cerulean and Azure remaining.

Great Eagles

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 24 Aug 2015 22:57

The great eagles of Foon are large, sentient eagles that are capable of lifting creatures up and carrying them. In fact, their primary purpose on Foon is to rescue wizards from danger by carrying them away. They should not be confused with regular eagles, who are not sentient nor great.

Great Halls of Terr'akkas

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 31 Aug 2015 22:58

The Great Halls of Terr'akkas is a place where wizards (and potentially other magic users) go to learn magic and hopefully become a Champion of the Great Halls of Terr'akkas. By many accounts, the Great Halls are very old and falling apart in places.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Hawai

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 16 Sep 2015 05:52

Hawai is a chain of islands in the Big Bowl. It is a tropical paradise, but lately, the Dark Lord's presence has become more pronounced. It is now run amok with flaming cats and dogs, portents of the Dark Lord. A particularly nasty strain of morglorb (created by Usidore and cut with Miracle Whip) has been running rampant as well.

Hogsface

by Evan JacoverEvan Jacover 16 Apr 2015 01:47

Hogsface (sometimes called Hogface) is a town in Foon. It is known as a tourist destination thanks to its coastal beaches and fine cuisine.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Imps

by Evan JacoverEvan Jacover 11 May 2015 18:04

Imps are tiny magical creatures who leave rubies and coins in pots and barrels all around Foon. The rubies and coins are actually their excrement. They do not have genitals, and have a larger anus in the place where they would be.

Insane Crown Posse

by jaikekjaikek 26 Dec 2016 13:03

The Insane Crown Posse is a social group of three kings — Jeremiah, King of the Horses, the King of Otters, and formerly Chunt the King of the Badgers, who was kicked out for refusing to wear his crown in public (this caused a rift in his friendship with Jeremiah). It notably does not include the Bandit King or Fibro Myalgia, the Goblin Queen.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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The Jizzlenob Preparatory School For Young Wizards

by joecabjoecab 04 Jun 2018 12:55

The Jizzlenob Preparatory School For Young Wizards (also known as Jizzlenob Preparatory Academy for Young Wizards) is for "promising young wizards", though most of the student are not "true" wizards, but rather mortal beings learning magic to become mages, magicians, necromancers, etc.

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Make Out Point

by Evan JacoverEvan Jacover 29 Apr 2015 03:07

Make Out Point is a shack where couples on Foon go. If you make it out alive, you are destined to fall in love. If you don't make it out, a ghost appears and asks you if you want to save yourself or the person you're with.

McShingleshane Forest

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 10 Aug 2015 15:40

McShingleshane Forest is a forest in Foon. Arnie knows it best as the home of the Vermilion Minotaur, and the place he last left his Toyota Camry. You can also visit Smeg's List here.

Midwife

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 29 Sep 2015 21:16

Midwives in Foon are magical. Unlike Earth, where the midwife simply aides the mother giving birth, in Foon, the midwife literally takes over for the mother halfway through her pregnancy by transferring their soul inside the mother.

Migas

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 19 May 2016 20:51

The main export of Migas is spices, used mostly in making spiced potatoes. It is possibly located on The Lake, as there have been reports of pirates "from Migas" on The Lake.

Mighty Ducks

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 10 Aug 2015 15:20

Mighty Ducks are a species in the land of Foon that are very powerful and carry crooked clubs. They are cake eaters, meaning they only eat cake.

Mittens

by hexfieldhexfield 21 Apr 2015 21:47

Mittens is a recreational sport in the land of Foon. Its governing body, the Foon Mittens League (FML), is headed by Chairman Larry Birdman who admits that most of the game's rules are ridiculous. The rules were originally based on a fictional game from the children's book The Loneliest Loneliest Son of Lonely by Tom Bigglesworth.

Morglorb

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 10 Aug 2015 18:13

Morglorb is one of the drugs of Foon. A very addictive substance that will make you vomit, but get you higher the next day. It is made from the morgle bush.

Mysterious Man

by Evan JacoverEvan Jacover 11 May 2015 16:36

Mysterious Man
Hello from the Magic Tavern character
First appearance: "Hello from the Magic Tavern"
Portrayed by: Tim Sniffen
Information
Name: Mysterious Man
Species: Unknown
Occupation: Announcer, concealer of alternate dimensions
Affiliation: Space Bunker

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Northeast

by evanproevanpro 23 Aug 2015 19:07

The Northeast is a region of Foon. It has one known kingdom, the Northeast Kingdom.

Northeast Kingdom

by evanproevanpro 23 Aug 2015 19:06

A (the?) country in the Northeast.

Notsee

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 15 Sep 2015 18:36

A Notsee is a kind of social group in Foon, known for their extreme kindness.

Nymphs

by joecabjoecab 07 Oct 2017 23:00

Nymphs are a race in Foon that come in many varieties. They measure time differently; Gary the Forest Nymph says he is 60 hundred years old in nymph years. Nymphs have nymph nodes which can open up during certain activities such as kissing or eating spicy food. Nymphs have a Nymph Awareness Month.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Offices & Bosses (series)

by inlittlestarsinlittlestars 23 Feb 2018 20:08

Offices & Bosses is a spin-off miniseries of the main podcast. The tabletop role-playing game Offices & Bosses was introduced in episode 32, "Offices & Bosses", when Arnie, Chunt and Usidore met Metamore. In this series Metamore returns to reprise his role as Office Manager and guide the other players through their campaigns.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Path of Destiny

by joecabjoecab 06 Feb 2016 14:47

A path in McShingleshane Forest which leads you to your destiny.

Phoenix University

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 10 Aug 2015 21:24

Phoenix University is a school in Foon. It is named so because the every day the professors die and are born again in flame.

Pinglets

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 16 May 2016 22:09

Pinglets are tiny pig-like creatures with fluffy wings making them capable of flight. They only come from a small village in the Southwest, but there are very few of them left after the Pinglet-Dwarf Wars. Recently, they are being hunted by witches who want to devour them, forcing some pinglets to become refugees. Witches believe that pinglets taste like "the most delicious bacon you've ever had".

Pitocin

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 30 Sep 2015 15:46

Pitocin is a god in the land of Foon. He is the Lord of the Souls, and has the power to transfer souls from one host to another. He uses this power to bless midwives with the gift to enter pregnant women. In exchange, he asks that they marry him so that they do not conceive of a child themselves.

Puppies

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 22 Apr 2016 22:07

In Foon, puppies exist, however, they are only visible to those who have had a moment of true joy or have seen someone die. It is possible that you must have had your moment of pure joy while in Foon, as Arnie claims to have had such a moment at the birth of his child, yet could not see them until he later witnessed actual death.

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Rainbow Bowls

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 21 Jul 2015 22:49

A rainbow bowl is a delicious non-alcoholic drink that sends your mind through time. It also comes in a whipped variety and contains glorb.

Raven's Crew

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 12 Aug 2015 16:24

The Raven's Crew is a religious cult that kidnaps children, brings them to their palace, and brainwash them. They are marginally better than the Falsetto Marauders because at least they don't smack children.

%%linked_title%% — %%first_paragraph%% [[/module]]

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Scrr

by hexfieldhexfield 24 Apr 2015 19:27

Scrr is a town in Foon.

Shrike

by barongorgeousbarongorgeous 15 Jun 2016 23:33

Shrike is a valley within a few days travel of Hogsface. Chunt has visited Shrike and was annoyed by a donkey named Old Billy who kept trying to make him waffles.

Smorps

by hexfieldhexfield 22 Apr 2015 15:24

Smorps are a race of small cerulean colored creatures, about four peaches high, known for their vicious nature. They live in communities of mushroom-shaped houses. Each Smorp is named after the job he does within the community (Soldier Smorp, Cook Smorp, etc.). They were created at the beginning of time.

Spiced Potatoes

by thetalentedfoolthetalentedfool 05 Feb 2016 15:56

Spiced potatoes are a specialty of The Vermilion Minotaur and a favorite of many denizens of Hogsface including Chunt and Usidore.

Surgeon General

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 30 Sep 2015 16:09

The Surgeon General is a general from the Northeast Kingdom. He was a great army general that King Albain promoted to be a great surgeon. He will often decree advice about medicine in Foon.

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Ti-Bo

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 09 Jun 2016 15:21

Ti-Bo is an exercise regiment that is good for the metabolism and complexion. It consists of a series of rhythmic kicks, jabs, and other movement to get blood flowing. Ti-Bo is usually practiced by maidens. In fact, it gets its name because normally, maidens' main exercisie is boating. This exercise is an alternative for people that are tired of boating, hence the name "Ti-Bo" for short.

Tosser

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 10 Aug 2015 18:50

A Tosser is the highest award given in Foon for acting. The award is so named because it awards the actor that can best toss off their own identity and assume that of another.

Troll

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 12 Oct 2015 15:21

Trolls are creatures in Foon. Not much is known about their physical attributes other than the fact that they produce a lot of slobber. There are many different titles that trolls can earn.

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The Void

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 21 Jul 2015 23:00

There is an encroaching Void that threatens to destroy all existence. It can only be defeated by making one little girl with unkempt red hair, Penelope Penelope, believe in magic. She from a mundane world with no magic (presumed to be Earth), where she lives in a trailer with her mother. Her parents are divorced and her mother is not home often because she is a registered nurse. Defeating the Void is the singular purpose of Spintax The Green.

Vampires

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 25 Apr 2016 22:20

Vampires on Foon are very much like the vampires on Earth. They must drink blood to survive, and can create new vampires. However, the blood need not be from humans, and higher-class vampires find human blood boorish. However, they do murder people very often. Vampires can go out into the sun, but they need to wear big floppy hats, otherwise the sun will burn all their hair off and they will look bad.

vBay

by joecabjoecab 06 Feb 2016 14:53

vBay is short for "Victor's Bay", an actual bay where auctions are conducted two to three times a week.

Vwishtash

by inlittlestarsinlittlestars 01 Mar 2018 15:38

Vwishtash, known as the fire season, is one of the six seasons in Foon.

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Wiki

by Evan JacoverEvan Jacover 16 Apr 2015 00:58

According to Wikipedia, the world largest wiki site:

Witches

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 16 May 2016 22:39

Witches are magic users on Foon. They are also known as warlocks. Some people tend to refer to females as "witches" and males as "warlocks", but the distinction between the two is not mandatory.

Wizards

by illuminatedwaxilluminatedwax 17 Aug 2015 20:52

Wizards are created by various natural forces when they are needed in the land of Foon. They will assume different names in different areas or cultures in order to make it easier for people to remember and pronounce. They go by very long titles, as they like to list their major aliases and record their major accomplishments. They can all assume different forms, have "sight beyond sight", and can enter what is known as the "wizard state".

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