Hogsface

Hogsface is a town in Foon. It is known as a tourist destination thanks to its coastal beaches and fine cuisine. It sits alongside the Everyroad, a main road that traverses Foon, and beside McShingleshane Forest.

+ Warning! Spoilers Inside for Season Two. Click to reveal

The Dark Lord attacks and conquers Hogsface at the end of Season One, in what came to be known as the The Battle of Hogsface. An orc army occupies the city, the inhabitants are imprisoned, and Baron Ragoon is made administrator.

The Dark Lord gives control of the town over to Usidore, Chunt, & Arnie after they form a truce to defeat the Void, but his forces remain in the town. Arnie, Chunt, & Usidore share mayor duties with Mayor Manana, a banana they've dressed up, and appoint community members to the Council of the Lightbringers of Hogsface (LBOH, pronounced “elbow”) to help manage the town.

The town is destroyed by a meteor strike summoned by Usidore at the end of Season Two, after Arnie, Chunt, & Usidore sneak the inhabitants out and replace them with carfoons, disrupting the Dark Lord's plans.

+ Warning! Spoilers Inside for Season Three. Click to reveal

Many of the escaped inhabitants together found the town of Hogsfacer.¹

Mittens

Hogsface had a long-standing local Mittens teams named the Poisoned Blades, which was disbanded when the team's flower, Flower, was thrown off a cliff.

+ Warning! Spoilers Inside for Season Two. Click to reveal

The town seeks bids to create a new team and build a new stadium. Bidders include Lord & Lady Superhoot, who would name the new team the Hoot Babies, and Mysterious Anonymous, who intends to name the new team the Soul Conquerors. Mysterious Anonymous ultimately wins the bid.

Before the first regular season game under the new ownership occurs, an exhibition game is played between the new Mysterious Anonymous owned team, comprised of orcs and ringers, and the people of Hogsface playing again as the Poisoned Blades. At half-time the Dark Lord's forces led by Baron Ragoon recapture the town.

Former Names

Although the area was once known as Barbathia, Hogsface itself has had many different names through the years:

• Hogface (up until the eleventh episode of the podcast)
• Pigsvisage
• Porkchin
• Sowton
• Snouttown
• Buttbutt
• Chopsville
• Lointown

Landmarks & Businesses

• The Vermilion Minotaur, an inn.
• The Smouldering Widow, another inn.
• Chu Chu's Chow, a late night tavern.
• Chubbin's Chamberpots
• Club 54, a restaurant where your meal is beaten with 54 clubs on its way to the table
• The Crying Basilisk, a brunch place²
• Pint o' Poison
• Pretty Potties
• The Purple Bog
• Elf on a Shelf Furniture, owned by the elf D'athaniel Quen'yarvin
• Incense & Amulets - magic shop by day; soup kitchen by night³
• A Rec Center⁴
• A Mittens pitch
• The Learning Onyx
• A free Magic & Bloodletting Clinic⁵
• Patchouli Grade School - bad smelling, built atop a corpse of an ogre.
• Slorp Dorpman's Emporium of Games

Inhabitants include:

• Chunt, a shapeshifter
• Usidore, a wizard
• Arnie, a human from another dimension
• Otok Barleyfoot, owner of the Vermilion Minotaur
• Blemish, former employee of the Vermilion Minotaur
• Flower, a flower
• Pimbly Nimblebottom, an imp, and bartender at Chu Chu's Chow
• Bungaree Chubbins, owner of Chubbins' Chamber Pots & So Forth
• Metamore, a stableboy and avid Offices & Bosses player
• Jak Vorpal, Foon's greatest swordsman, and bakery owner
• Uteriah Valasuvius, a midwife
• Tannakin, a pinglet who came to Hogsface fleeing Witch attacks. She is raising funds to likewise transport her fellows to town.
• Gianessa Relkorus, town Sheriff
• Dugwrenth, Deputy to Sheriff Relkorus, and former blacksmith
• Claudia, a witch and owner of the magic shop Incense & Amulets
• Leonard Cronkite, a half-giant and Head Chef of Chu Chu's Chow
• Peedee the Pussy Cat, food cart operator⁶
• Chad, a dungeon guard
• Grandel, a dungeon guard
• Rifkin, a blacksmith. Rumor has it he lives with his mother
• Gavin Dildohammer, a dwarvish bottler. Rumor has it he has recently run off to Migas with a woman not his by-law wife.
• Pizza Skull, Foon's Pizza Champion
• Two-Toe Juan, bookie in Hogsface, formerly a gambler of Chorroth
• Fleek, a sad man who sells teeth
• Clevon Littlebird. Rumor has it he has recently donned the cloak of mourning.
• Several unwed mothers
• Mortimer Wortimer, a deli owner
• Mundle the Grundle
• Charles Schmutz, the famous carfoonist
• Rocky Cocodino, an ex-squire who now sells used warhorses
• Daphne, and unwed mother and tavern wench at The Vermilion Minotaur
• Barth, the product of a broken and stolen home
• Barth's wife, a druid shapeshifter
• Chest Trünkborn, a mimic who resides in the Vermilion Minotaur
• Paul Miller, another baker and rival of Jak Vorpal's
• Lord & Lady Superhoot, owlbears & local heroes, the Superhoots have grown rich accepting rewards for saving lives⁷
• Kellory Potter, the owner of Kellory Pottery
• Grunkle the garbage lady
• Drew and orphan and "Trash Kan Kid," as well as a worshiper of Arnie
• Skumbawumbabingbong, a being who lives under a pavind stone in the main square & works at the riverbank
• Bromley, a regular member of Metamore's Offices & Bosses group, who has a hygiene problem
• Wilfred, a walrus who plays Offices & Bosses with Metamore
• Zoomaboom, a pixie with an exhausting manic personality disorder, who plays Offices & Bosses with Metamore
• Boomazoom, a worm who drinks a lot of coffee
• Screaming Pete, a man who always screams
• Ponks, a cook at the Vermilion Minotaur⁸

Footnotes

1. Season 3, Ep 50 — "Mail Night"

2. Season 2, Ep 7 — "Carfoonist"

3. Season 1, Ep 54 — "Witch"

4. Season 2, Ep 73 – Globulous

5. Season 1, Ep 61 — "Sheriff"

6. Season 1, Ep 95 –"Tom the Spy"

7. Season 2, Ep 47 — "Mittens Returns"

8. Season 3, Ep 32 — "Five Years"