INTERLUDE – Cowboy World
INTERLUDE – Cowboy World
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Air Date: March 6, 2017 Episode Link
Previous Episode 100B Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Ulysses D. L'Amour the Cowboy, Champ the Horse Guests: Miss Quibbert
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Evan Jacover Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Charming Keep from Mighty Games

Description

"Hello from the Dusty Saloon! Let’s check in with the town of Hogswood."

Summary

Hello from the Dusty Saloon! The weekly podcast that is broadcast from the world of High Foon! Arnie fell through a dimensional portal outside of a Golden Coral in the suburbs of Chicago into the old western cowboy world of High Foon, he’s still getting a signal from the Golden Coral (unsure why there’s wifi there, but okay) and he uploads weekly from the saloon The Burgundy Bronco, in the town of Hogswood, in the town of High Foon! He’s joined by his sidekick Ulysses D. L’Amour – wanted in 12 counties, native folk know him as Dances with Lights and Shadows, the Spanish folk know him as Maestro De Chaos, and he is known by the Pinkertons in the Nor’east as Magic Jack Star. Ulysses is a helping hand that goes from town to town and does good deeds. Arnie hasn’t really seen him go from town to town. The Pinkerton leader, Donnie, needs to be dealt with, according to Ulysses.

Arnie introduces his other sidekick, Champ the talking horse! He’s the only talking horse. Arnie asks if Champ is a shapeshifter, but Champ states that he is a pansifter or goldsifter. He pans for gold down by the river.

Arnie hand cranks the generator (which he made himself). Arnie introduces this week’s guest - Miss Quibbert. She’s new to town and is grateful that they have shown her around. She comes from way up in that direction she’s pointing, she’s very bad at directions. She wishes that there was some sort of rat you could put on your shoulder that would direct you do where you’re trying to go. Arnie says that she should see the world he comes from, there are rats everywhere. She sounds very excited and wishes she could go there. She says that her father is a professor and she comes from money. Champ says that he wants to take her up to Touch Tongues Cavern, where you take a date and if you touch each other’s tongue, you can leave.

Arnie says “Champ’s up with that?” Champ likes it and wants to use it in the future. Champ feels like he’s punching an unliving version of himself when he says “Mm howdy partner!” or “Clip Clop”. He wants to know if he should lay off the bits, Miss Quibbert says he should put the bit back on.

Miss Quibbert’s father does a lot of steam engineering, and there’s a lot of hissing in the basement. She wanted to get out and sow some oats. Speaking of oats, Champ goes to order a round for the table. Meanwhile, Miss Quibbert says the barmaid has very big tits. Arnie says that is Daphne, and has quite a temper. Miss Quibbert vows not to mess with her. Champ comes back and declares it to be “COWBOY NIGHT!”

Arnie reminds the listeners that they can reach him at seilppus.seippup|noolaSytsuD#seilppus.seippup|noolaSytsuD, and Champ can be reached at moc.liamg|ppppppppppppppppmahC#moc.liamg|ppppppppppppppppmahC or @SaddleBeTheDay on Twitter. Arnie tells Champ that his catchphrases are what make him the third most popular character on the podcast. Champ asks who the first two are, and Arnie and declares himself the first most popular, but Ulysses begs to differ. Arnie says the emails speak for themselves. Ulysses reminds him that Flowers the Orphan is really the most popular person on the podcast. Arnie says that Flowers hates him quite a bit, probably because he threw her over a cliff (she climbed out). Ulysses says the most popular people are listed in this order:

  1. Flowers
  2. Champ
  3. Arnie
  4. Ulysses

Miss Quibbert asks Ulysses why he thinks he’s at the bottom, and he says that it is because no one has taken to a noble outlaw. But he refuses to change his ways, he sleeps in a teepee and smokes things and eating strange mushrooms. Arnie is a little concerned about his drug use. Champ asks Ulysses how it’s going with Jennifer Lassio. Ulysses says that they are like two buckin’ broncos that haven’t been broke. The last time he left her hotel room, he left her a loaf of bread.

Ulysses is trying to get together a posse to go get the Pinkertons. Champ was concerned that he was about to go into the Sheriff state.

Ulysses asks Miss Quibbert about the metal and steam ladies that her father makes for the town men to fuck. It is a service he provides to the men of Dreidelsville who have a hard time settling down. Arnie suddenly asks if there are Jews in this world. Champ is appalled at the question. Yes, Arnie, there are all kinds of people in this world.

Champ takes his hat off using a hat trick. Arnie asks Champ to count out how much money he could make doing hat tricks, and he stomps out 4 or 5. Champ tells Arnie to put that in his fireplace and burn it.

Champ asks Miss Quibbert if she has any laudanum. Her daddy wouldn’t let her take any, she’s trying to make her own way. Ulysses has a follow up question. Are the women steam powered? She says yes.

Second question, why is he using horse hair when he could use human hair. She asks him how easy it would be to go up to a woman and ask for her hair for a robot. He says very, and that he did that for a while when he was about 8 or so.

Champ slept with a metal woman named Jeanie. Also, poor Champ has consumption. Arnie needs to get him a new cough rag, it’s all bloody. Arnie thanks Miss Quibbert for being on the show. Ulysses asks where she will be heading to, and she says Chinatown. Arnie asks about the town and she says it’s very breakable and made of China. Champ reminds Arnie that they need to get him out of the saloon to see the sights, he’s always at the piano tinkering away and Champ reminds him that he has been saying he wants to go to the haunted mine shaft to search for gold. Ulysses makes a promise that episode 101 will be them searching for the gold. Arnie says he would just lose the gold anyway.

Arnie asks Miss Quibbert what she’s about. She starts the day at twilight, because there’s too many men trying to marry her. One night while she’s bathing in a mysterious moonlit pond and that’s when she’s going to find a man to start a book empire with. Arnie is impressed. Ulysses tips his hat.

Champ starts coughing again and Arnie is concerned that Champ won’t be around anymore come episode 200. Champ says that there are other talking animals, and he goes to the west to speak to a whale named Josey, who says there is a cure coming soon. Ulysses says he knows the outlaw, Josey Wales. Arnie wants to read an email but Ulysses prematurely jumps on Champ’s back and starts riding him around the saloon.

An email from Flynn – He walked into a closet at the back of a Chipotle and was transported to a cowboy world too! Arnie is excited there may be someone else here, but then he reads the date: August 2015. He’s probably dead. So much Flynn death in High Foon.

Miss Quibbert says that her dad is working on a male sex robot made of a shinier metal, and he’s calling it Steely Dan.

Champ said he found a badger with a little crown on his head down by the river. Arnie makes fun of badgers. Champ tells Arnie “Fuck you.”

Additional Appearances

  • Talbot the Badger, wearing a crown

Modern Earth References

Notes

  • This is another alternate reality of Foon, but it looks like Miss Quibbert is not all she seems and may be or have a connection to Foon's Squibbert.
  • The episode seems to have been inspired by an email from Flynn in season 1, episode 31 "Bridge Troll". That letter is read on this episode as well.

Behind the Scenes

Cowboy World
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Ulysses, Miss Quibbert, Champ, Arnie
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