Season 2, Ep 10 - Bro-taur (w/ Colt Cabana)
Season 2, Ep 10 - Bro-taur (w/ Colt Cabana)
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Air Date: May 22, 2017 Episode Link
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Hosts: Arnie, Usidore, Chunt Guests: Brodus Tarver the Bro-taur
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Now Hear This: Podcast Festival, Wag!, and Classic Showbiz with Kliph Nesteroff

Description

"We interview a muscular half man, half animal… only he’s not sure exactly what the animal half is."

Summary

This week in Usidore’s secret names, if you saw one of them written on a piece of paper, the paper would catch on fire, the flames would rise to the sky, seed the clouds, and rain down fire on people with evil in their hearts (Usidore doesn’t remember this name).

Since Chunt is still a guard, the group still refer to the Dark Lord as the “Book Club.” Arnie is studying the book of glyths, hoping to understand the tattoos on Baron Rangoon’s body that hold secrets about the Book Club. Chunt reveals that the guards regularly get together shirtless with the Baron, so Arnie urges Chunt to take notes on the Baron’s tattoos the next time they take off their shirts.

Arnie introduces Brodus Tarver, who prefers to go by Bro-taur. He’s the champion of Foon, human half on top, but something else for his lower half. His mother is human, but he’s never met his father so he doesn’t know what animal he was. He enjoys working out, and both his halves are muscular and huge. The group thinks his animal half may be bear, or a sloth. He enjoys shouting “Bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeenh!” and calls Usidore by “Dorski”

He wants to be the “biggest motherfucker on Foon.“ Usidore challenges his size using magic, but Bro-taur outgrows him by doing squats. Usidore returns to normal size using a shrinking spell, but he slowly continues shrinking and denies that he’s shrinking even as his voice gets higher throughout the episode.

Arnie questions whether anyone has ever died trying to get too big, but Bro-taur breaks down in tears and yells “Barry rest in peace!“ Barry, also known as Bear-taur, was half bear on top and half bear on the bottom, tried to get huge but died from complications from being two bears combined.

Usidore finds a cashew and gives it to Chunt, and they’re “Gettin’ Nuts!”

Bro-taur defeated Stormicus to become Foon’s champion. He’s also fought Les-taur (half-human, half lesser human), Mecha-Bro-taur (a giant metal version of himself), his optometrist, and many racing battles against Vin.

Bro-taur picks up now baby-sized Dorski and rocks him to sleep as if he’s his own son. He realizes that he wants to become a father, and is not about being as big as possible to be a good father or a good son. Now that he understands his lesson, Usidore restores himself to normal size.

Emails

A listener from Sweden suggests Chunt have sex with Usidore to shapeshift into a wizard and gain wizard powers.
Answer: Many listeners have suggested this, but Usidore and Chunt are not interested in each other that way, although Bro-taur is in favor of it.

What do non-binary people have if they cannot say “Boys Night” or “Girls Night”?
Answers, several suggestions:
“Beings Night”
“Bwah bwah bwah bweeeeeenh!”
“Dad, where are you?!” (Bro-taur used to yell this when he was a kid)
“Let’s get nuts!”

Back in the space bunker, Craig gets several emails:
What is the status of the vending machines?
Answer: They are fine and pretty full.

A listener says that Craig-cast is his new favorite podcast, maybe talk over Chunt and Arnie.
Answer: Craig has thought about doing an annotated version where he gives his opinions on Hello from the Magic Tavern.

I want more Craig.
Answer: Okay.

Did you ever find Robot Arnie?
Answer: He was hiding in the storage crates.

A listener is worried about Craig’s safety because Tricia-8050 killed Lucy.
Answer: Craig tells the listener not to worry because they took care of Tricia but can’t remember how.

Foon Sponsor

None

New Characters

  • Barry, aka Bear-taur
  • Stormicus
  • Frock Lesnar
  • Les-taur
  • Mecha-Bro-taur

Additional Appearances

None

Earth References

Behind the Scenes

Bro-taur (w/ Colt Cabana)
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Usidore, the Bro-Taur, Arnie, Chunt
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