Season 2, Ep 14 – Elf Help
Elf Help
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date June 19, 2017
Episode no. S02E14
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests D'athaniel Quen'yarvin the Elf and Caball’on Valentin the Tree
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Garrett Schultz
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Blue Apron
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"Elf Help" is the fourteenth episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on June 19, 2017.


DQ the elf is back and he has word of a resistance force growing strength in the forest.


Chunt has big news — new ink! He now has LAVA and HATE across his knuckles. Arnie and Usi warn him not get too tight with the guards. Not to worry, lads. Chunt has been in contact with the Malkin, giant magical cats, in hopes they will come save them.

Arnie has heard of a new underground force working to defeat the BOOK CLUB (wink!), and it's D’athaniel Quen’yarvin! Arnie still can't pronounce his name in the elven tongue, so DQ he remains. DQ catches us up on his life since the imprisonment of Hogsface. His furniture shop, Elf on a Shelf, has been burned to the ground. He's looked for new work, but the kicking stuff game is weak right now. However, he has joined forces with a strange bedfellow, the trees themselves. Hashtag Treesistance! He tries not to kick the trees anymore, but old habits die hard.

Usidore notes that he bought an original Quen'yarvin chair and still has it, assuming his hovel at the top of the hill outside town hasn't been destroyed. He describes his prison cell as basically a morgue drawer.

As with any early movement, the goals of the Treesistance are still fuzzy. Arnie suggests a sprint. DQ will take no advice on sprints from someone who brags of walking. DQ reveals his Treesistance partner as Caball'on Valentin. They have bonded over heartbreak and have hardened their hearts against the Dark Lord. They have also given each other fun nicknames. Arnie asks for four of them.

  • DQU: D'athaniel Quen'yarvin United. Also Q is usually followed by U.
  • Branches
  • Former Enemy (A little pass-aggro)
  • The Legendary Roots Group
  • (Bonus) The Arrow Man (also a little pass-aggro)

Sometimes DQ kicks Caball'on, but always with consent. Arnie questions if this is truly a movement, or just two guys gettin' it on. Caball'on wisely notes that you have to build relationships first. Hashtag Teambuilding. Their most effective interrogation tool has been Elf Cop/Tree Cop.

Caball'on suddenly recognizes his old friend Chunt! (The last time they met, he looked like a slightly different badger.) Caball'on asks why they do not just leave Hogsface. Usidore explains he is sticking around to gather intel from inside his drawer. There's nowhere to go anyway.

DQ and Caball'on explain that their recent road trip has had its ups and downs, but it's been a learning experience. They Plus/Delta the trip (Rose/Thorn) and reveal some uncomfortable things about their budding relationship. Caball'on laments that the Dark Lord has brought squirrels upon him. He also notes that the bats and woodpeckers have joined forces for nefarious purposes.

Usidore wonders if DQ can learn to love a tree, could Usi learn to love an orc? Probably not. But anything's possible. It gets awkward when it comes out that DQ is Caball'on's emergency contact, but DQ hasn't updated his own info yet.

Bangin' Buds

"The Opened Box" by AJ. During the recording of an episode of Gettin' Nuts, Chunt and Usidore share a warm moment by firelight.


Jacob questions whether the three Goddesses might themselves o'erthrow the Dark Lord.

Answer: Usi and the other wizards are acting as the emissaries of Foo, Oo, and Oon. They work in mysterious ways.

DQ and Caball'on present the lads with a gift from the Treesistance — a fruit. Not ripe yet, but soon. They advise leaving it on the counter for a few days. It will give you what you need, but not what you want. Chunt returns the favor and gives them straws. Usidore conjures a branch saddle. Arnie re-gifts Chunt's best friend overalls to them.

New characters

  • The Great Cats

Earth references

Behind the scenes

Elf Help
Image Unavailable
Usidore, DQ, Caball'on, Chunt, Arnie
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