Season 2, Ep 26 – A Short One
A Short One
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date September 11, 2017
Episode no. S02E26
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Twosidore the Casual
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Ryan DiGiorgi
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Mission to Zyxx and RxBar (Promo Code: Magic)
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"A Short One" is the twenty-sixth episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on September 11, 2017.


I don't know… what if… we did a short one?


We start off the episode, fairly normal. Arnie starts to introduce the show as always, but is interrupted by Chunt who suddenly proclaims to have killed The Dark Lord… er… the Stark Lord.


Now it seems that Chunt is covered in blood and needs help hiding the body.

Arnie asks who the Stark Lord is, and Chunt explains that he’s a big deal up north. Arnie is about 50% concerned about Chunt and 50% concerned that he hasn’t set up the podcast. Usidore proclaims to have a solution and hides Chunt under a blanket, thereby saving him.

Arnie feels like they are doing the podcast in reverse. Usidore is concerned and asks if everything is okay. Arnie says his child brain is being strangled by brain snakes and Chunt is covered in blood. So, in short… no.

To lighten up the situation, Usidore states that he made fresh salsa, made with chilis hatched from an egg. Arnie discovers that chilis have sex with each other in order to get hatched chilis.

Chunt asks if they are going to start from where they are and work backwards to the beginning of the show. Usidore suggests they read some emails! Arnie reads an email from Dalton backwards!

The gang decide they have been under a lot of stress with everything, trying to defeat the dark lord, doing the podcast, coming up with new salsa recipes, coming up with new secret names. Chunt states he has come up with a new secret name for himself: Glorious Stephan. He then gets angry that Arnie cannot say it properly.

Arnie ends the show! That’s it! Chunt suggests they speak how they normally speak because when they do the podcast they put on airs. Usidore says that he doesn’t do that, but he wants to know if the guest should leave. Twosidore was supposed to be the guest, who comes over spouting Twosidorian wisdom about needing love. Usidore quickly tells him to leave.

Mundle plays them out and then they “turn off the podcasting equipment.”

Chunt unveils his real voice! It’s much deeper than his “character” voice on the podcast. He doesn’t like the way he sounds so he puts on a higher pitched voice. Arnie says he wishes the listeners knew what the others were like outside of recording the podcast. Chunt is more relaxed and much, much nicer to Arnie, and Usidore is kind of a dick, calling Arnie a useless sack of shit. Usidore leaves to get a drink.

Chunt and Arnie profess their love for each other. Except….Chunt really REALLY love Arnie, and proposes to Arnie. Chunt used guard funds to pay for a ring that has a live eel in it, and also captured some storm light. Arnie says he loves Chunt but not that kind of love, and Chunt gets a little pissed that he couldn’t have just said that. Twosidore has been teaching Chunt a lot about love and friendship. Arnie declines and asks what this means for their friendship and Chunt goes back to being his normal goofy self. And…Arnie possible broke him. Like…really broke him. And says he should have proposed to Wheelbear.

Chunt brings Usidore back over for a vote of what to do about Arnie and Usidore just votes to kill him without even know what they were voting for.

Usidore proclaims randomly that at Burger King, there is a rodeo king sandwich. And Cockroach Clown used to be a rodeo clown. Chunt starts saying all of Cockroach Clown’s sayings: He says he puts the fun in funeral, the laughter in manslaughter, and look under the bed I’m on the ceiling. He’s going to strum his pain with his fingers and kill Chunt softly. He lives on Lauren Hill and Roberta Shack.

Usidore says they need to pretend the Stark Lord went to Queen T and accused her of incest and had him killed on her behest. Arnie really wants to know who this Stark Lord guy is.

Chunt reveals that Stark Lord had been pleading with him before he killed him, and Arnie was really upset that he died so soon and thought that the whole story was going to be about the Stark lord. In the first 1-6 seconds Chunt was going to pace out the news but in the 7th second he just decides to speed through it. Usidore got bored after second 2. Speaking of, Chunt proclaims that 8 seconds is how long it takes to say 'Rooooodeeeeeooooo'.

Arnie wants to focus because they are cracking up because Chunt just randomly killed a person. Chunt remembers something and leaves again.

Arnie asks if they really want to kill the Dark Lord. Like, what if he had his back turned to Usidore, would he still kill him? Usidore says yes. However, Usidore would allow the dark lord to save a child before killing him, if that was the situation.

Chunt comes back proclaiming he killed Mooky, the Bark Lord, King of the Dogs. He’s covered in blood again. He crawls back under the blanket and starts muttering to himself.

Arnie thinks Chunt is just unhappy and that committing himself to someone will make him happy. Arnie begs to differ. Arnie says “Two seconds later” and Twosidore shows up again. Arnie asks if he is single and it comes out that Twosidore is polyamorous and his wife’s name is Madelyn and met her at a tobacco smoking party. They all put tobacco into a bowl and then whatever tobacco they pull they smoke. And then they fuck.

Usidore says to deal with Twosidore is to not ask him anymore questions goes to the bar and gets some salsa. Arnie declines to engage Twosidore in conversation. Twosidore disappears into a puff of bees.

Arnie asks Chunt to come out from under the blanket and talk to him. He apologizes for declining the proposal and Chunt feels awkwards. Arnie made him best friend overalls. Chunt says there are things you don’t do in Foon:

  1. Don't spit into to the wind
  2. Tug on someone's cape
  3. You don’t mess around with Jim.
  4. And you don't make overalls unless you're prepared to get married.

Usidore barfs out of excitement. He has heard a rumor about a new minion of The Dark Lord: a “Social Media Manager”. Which reminds Arnie that he has gotten weird messages through his door written in blood. The latest one is: “More merchant eyes in web of rage.”

Chunt declares he has a ghost in his butt. We discover that butt ghosts can leave on their own will. Does the butt ghosts want some soup? Maybe he died during the Chu Chu’s Chow butt soup expansion and that’s why he’s still sticking around Chunt’s butt. Talking about butts makes Arnie feel better, like the early days. Chunt states that he and Twosidore have a podcast, Gettin' Butts.

According to Usidore, Twosidore is NOT a wizard because he cannot answer the questions 'From what two powers are you derived from?' and 'What forces of nature brought him into this world to defend the world?'.

Arnie just wants to make sure Chunt is okay. Chunt asks for help disposing of the two bodies. Usidore offers to turn them both into tree, but their souls will be trapped in pain forever in the trees. Arnie declines the offer.

Chunt suggests they start talking about butts. Arnie says “I like…” Chunt: “big, small?” Arnie: “Big.” The wenches say they say Arnie is being dishonest. He says “I cannot lie”. And then they walk away from the table.

Earth References

Behind the scenes

A Short One
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Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
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