Season 2, Ep 3 – Satyr and Beholder
Satyr and Beholder
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date April 3, 2017
Episode no. S02E03
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Globulous the Bowtied Beholder, Dustin Hoofman the Satyr
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Ryan DiGiorgi
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Squarespace (code: MAGIC), ZipRecruiter, and Chapman University present "Surviving the End of the World: Interstices 2017"
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“Satyr and Beholder” is the third episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on April 3, 2017. This episode features Elliott Kalan and Stuart Wellington from The Flop House.


We learn more about the arts from a goat man and a giant floating eyeball.


Hogsface is still imprisoned by the Dark Lord, who is studying the trans-dimensional effects of the podcast. Chunt is still King of the Badger as long as he still breathes and does not give up his crown. He's been passing the time playing games with the guards.

Usidore seems to have perked up a bit from his forced disenchantment. Last week he ate a chicken wing and gained some power from its inherent birdliness. However the effects are temporary, and he nods off.

This week's guests are Globulous, a beholder (a floating blob covered in stalks with eyes and wearing a bow tie) and Dustin Hoofman, a satyr and actor/playwright of renown.

Arnie makes Globulous sad, which is a new emotion for it. Usidore explains to it that SAD is an acronym for Students Against Drunk. Globulous feels better about this.

Dustin Hoofman has been working on an autobiographical play, Cloven Hoof/Cloven Heart and is convinced to act out a scene from the project in which he plays his own mother. As a meth-head actor, Dustin requires some extra inspiration. The scene leaves the lads emotionally raw and is punctuated with a fart, at the request of Dustin's patron Globulous. Usidore describes Globulous as a frustrated artist, but Globulous doesn't know what "frustrated" means. Usidore can't come up with an acronym for it.

Dustin and Globulous reminisce about their first meeting when Dustin was employed at Globulous' menswear shop B.E. Holder's. Globulous asks Chunt for a bag of excrement to be used as a prop in the play, which he provides during the ad break.

Arnie pulls a total Niekamp and offends Dustin by asking if he had played Peter the Pan…because he's a satyr. That's an offensive term, Arnie. Arnie is also easily confused by beholder physics. Usidore calmly explains that beholders have access to many pocket dimensions within their own bodies where they contain a multitude of energies and body parts. Globulous can also use its eye lasers to heat up a Hot Pocket.

After confessing it doesn't understand fear, the lads ask Globulous to list the emotions he does know. Anger, humor, and lasers. Yep, that pretty much covers it!

Dustin breaks into the hauntingly beautiful love theme from Cloven Hoof/Cloven Heart, which ends with a fart. Globulous is moved by the performance, but breaks the tension by shooting Arnie's clothes off with an eye laser.


Amy Gray started listening to the show last year and discusses her fear of flying. What are the fears in Foon?
Answer: Arnie is afraid of Arnie penis fan art.

Genevieve from Australia writes: In August of 2016, I bough a rat and named him Usidore. I bought him a playmate and named him Spintax. They ended up fighting more often than not. They died when I was on holiday. I miss them and want to get two more, but what should I name them?
Answer: Usidore suggests Arnold and Chunt or Dustin and Globulous. Chunt likes Bing and Bong.

The episode ends with another song by Dustin Hoofman in which he labors to rhyme words with satyr. Globulous has several suggestions. You do it next time, Globulous!

New characters

Findlay the town drunk

Foon's Four Great Actors (including Dustin Hoofman):

  • Brando the Marlin
  • Robert the Sparrow
  • Cocker Spaniel Day-Lewis

Theater Crickets

Earth references


  • Romeon and Julia is mentioned, but it is not known if they meant Romeon and Julioff or if this is a different play.
  • There is no B.E.Holder clothing store in Hogsface, but there is one "the next town over."

Behind the scenes

Satyr and Beholder (w/ Elliott Kalan and Stuart Wellington from The Flop House)
Image Unavailable
Arnie, Chunt, Usidore, Globulous the Beholder, Dustin Hoofman
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