| Eunuch Tutor | |
| Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
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| Air date | February 19, 2018 |
| Episode no. | S02E48 |
| Episode Link | |
| Cast | |
| Hosts | Arnie, Chunt, Usidore |
| Guests | Benedict Whisperbrew the Eunuch |
| Production | |
| Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi |
| Associate Producer | {$associateproducer} |
| Editor | Ryan DiGiorgi |
| Logo | Allard Laban |
| Theme music | Andy Poland |
| Audio assistance | Jason Knox |
| Production assistance | Garrett Schultz |
| Special thanks | Brett Morris and Josh Richmond |
| Sponsor | |
| Hello Fresh (offer code: TAVERN30) | |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Mittens Returns" | "INTERLUDE – Hey Kids, it’s a Magic Tavern!" |
| List of episodes | |
"Eunuch Tutor" is the forty-eighth episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on February 19, 2018.
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Table of Contents
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Description
Benedict Whisperbrew returns to Hogsface for a eunuch parade.
Summary
Arnie starts off the podcast as usual, introducing Usidore first. Usidore is the mayor this week! And he is still really concerned about the zoning issue, but Arnie wants to do the fun stuff of government (there’s a fun part of government?!) and not the boring stuff. Usidore says no, that’s not how it works. Usidore has a creative solution for horse poop, though!
After some prodding from Arnie, Chunt has proclaimed he is back to being a badger! Arnie is confused because he thought all of the badgers hated him. Chunt says there is one badger who doesn’t (Monica).
Chunt says someone spray painted “Pasta Cortez” on the table, and Usidore shrinks himself and gives Kid Usidore a talking to.
Today’s guest is a familiar face: Benedict Whisperbrew! Benedict applauds Mayor Usidore’s new parade permit application process (they are just sitting pre-approved on a desk). Benedict lets us know the parade is for National Eunuch Appreciation Day. He asks Arnie to be the Grand Marshal of the parade. Arnie is confused and asks if it’s okay for a non-eunuch to be the Grand Marshal, and Benedict doesn’t believe Arnie that he’s not a eunuch. Arnie ultimately turns it down by saying he’d rather cut off his dick…
Benedict says he will write that down for Eunuch Happy Hour. He is trying to get back into the good graces of the court, so he took up an internship. He is also a tutor for local immigrants who wish to become citizens of Foon.
Usidore brings Arnie under the table and says that Arnie can use Benedict to tutor him to become a eunuch. Arnie thinks that’s a terrible idea and that he expected Usidore to say tutor him to pass the citizenship test. Suddenly, Twosidore appears asking if they said his name, then says a quote about friendship, then Arnie and Usidore tell him to fuck off, leaving behind his cloud of bees.
Back up top, Benedict compliments the coasters and Arnie says that they have been trying to make the tavern more fun. Chunt points out they have that peg game that depending on how many pegs are left will tell you how smart or dumb you are. Benedict asks Chunt under the table, and lets him know that he is happy that Chunt and Monica are back together.
Arnie addresses Usidore under the table and asks if he thinks that Chunt is just giving blow jobs under the table. Chunt appears asking if they need a blow job, but they refuse. Benedict appears and compliments them on their sex positivity.
Back on the top of the table, Arnie finishes a joke. Twosidore asks if Arnie can meet him under the table. Twosidore is concerned that the peg game he played has called him an ignoramus. Arnie says that he just thought the game involved collecting pegs from around the tavern. Twosidore likes that better and then the two of them accidentally confess their love for one another.
Benedict offers to help Arnie study for the citizenship test.
Such questions include:
“How many wars was Foon involved in in 1831?”
“Name three Foonish leaders that were able to pull off a beard?”
Arnie takes a crack at this question. His answers include King Belaroth, the Dark Lord, and Good King Beardo.
He does well!
Benedict has some advice for Arnie — look at the questions and imagine they are all naked.
Usidore is concerned about Arnie’s false sense of confidence and confers under the table with Chunt and Benedict. Usidore asks if they think that Arnie believes they are all in his head, and Chunt reminds him that they’ve already explored this.
Back up top, Arnie is excited to take the test now that he knows everything he says is going to be right with confidence. Chunt asks Benedict to throw out some math questions to Arnie. Arnie groans.
Benedict asks “How many representatives are elected each year to the Council of Eunuchs?” and Arnie answers “six”. Benedict states that the answer is wrong (it’s five) and Arnie asks what about since the reign of the gulls. Benedict remembers that the since Gullian Contract of 30,048, there can be up to 6 members elected.
Usidore wants to take Arnie down a notch and asks him “What year is it right now?” Arnie answers “1479”. Usidore says “No, not even close.” Arnie reminds him about the old Centaurian Calendar? Usidore huffs that he got him.
Usidore suggests that Arnie and Benedict start tutoring together, live with each other, and become bosom buddies.
After the break, Arnie wants to catch up with Benedict and his rivalry with Dennis Brittlebrains. Benedict asks Arnie if he thinks that anyone ever invites Benedict to Eunuch Happy Hour.
Usidore announces that he was not the most popular wizard in the Great Halls of Terr'akkas. Instead of waiting around for people to ask Usidore to come to their parties, Usidore says he threw his own parties and asks Benedict if he’s ever thought of hosting his own happy hour. Benedict reveals that he has been practicing the trumpet and says maybe he will invite them to his Eunuch Horn Recital. Benedict invites Usidore to come. However, Usidore says he will try to come by but there are 72 other parades that day.
Arnie asks how long do you have to live in a world before you get all of the jokes. Benedict says he doesn’t know how to answer that kindly. He basically implies that Arnie is bad at understanding references.
Arnie accidentally calls Benedict “Dennis” and he is highly offended! He says it is like they’ve ripped out his gonads and they are pulsating in front of him all over again. Arnie asks if that’s really how it happens. Benedict says there are 34 questions alone dedicated to the eunuch making process. Arnie asks if he can hear one of the questions. Benedict asks “Who is your favorite eunuch of all times”. Arnie responds solemnly, “Benedict Whisperbrew.”
Additional appearances
Earth references
- Mambo No. 5
- "Banana hammock"
- Pop Rocks
- McDonaldland's Mayor McCheese
- Albert Camus
- Peg game
- Friends (TV show)
- HQ Live Game Show
- Weird Al
- Bosom Buddies, Peter Scolari, Holland Taylor, theme song ("My Life" — Billy Joel)
- Unicorns
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
- The Good Humor Man
Behind the scenes
| Eunuch Tutor |
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| Chunt, Arnie, Benedict, Usidore |