Jyn’Leeviyah Returns | |
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
Air date | April 30, 2018 |
Episode no. | S02E57 |
Episode Link | |
Cast | |
Hosts | Arnie, Chunt, Usidore |
Guests | Jyn'Leeviyah |
Production | |
Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi |
Associate Producer | {$associateproducer} |
Editor | Chris Rathjen |
Logo | Allard Laban |
Theme music | Andy Poland |
Audio assistance | Jason Knox |
Production assistance | Garrett Schultz |
Sponsor | |
Audible and Hollywood Handbook podcast | |
Episode chronology | |
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"Jamillious Returns" | "Garbage Lady" |
List of episodes |
"Jyn’Leeviyah Returns" is the fifty-seventh episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on April 30, 2018.
Table of Contents
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Description
The Red Wizard is back, summoned to help Arnie with his citizenship test. But can she and Usidore work through their relationship problems?
Summary
Up in the Space Bunker, Tricia is still trying to cover up the fact that she broke Craig by putting his hat on top of a mop and using that like a puppet. The Mysterious Man isn’t convinced, but doesn’t press any further and gets right into the show.
Arnie introduces the show as usual, introducing Usidore first, then Chunt, who has the new catchphrase “Are we having’ pancakes?” Arnie and Usidore immediately approve highly of this new catchphrase and have no follow up questions.
Arnie, trying to be a supportive friend, inquires hesitantly about Chunt’s relationship with Twosidore. Last week they had planned on going to Make-Out Point and Chunt reveals that they both made it out alive!
Usidore interjects that he’s found a new spell since they last talked while on an adventure to the Library of Careth'ten with his friend Grimhoof, the 5th fastest horse in Foon, and his horse Choad. It’s a spell that dispels darkness, which he believes will help them in their fight against the Void. Usidore demonstrates the spell’s usage, but Arnie isn’t convinced it’s going to be very useful.
Arnie is still looking for a wizard to sponsor the second half of his Foonish Citizenship Test this week when suddenly, Jyn’Leeviyah the Red appears with a shimmer of magic! Usidore is immediately emotional about seeing her again, asking if he can kiss her cheek when — gasp! Her face is no longer horribly yet attractively scarred. When pressed for an explanation, she quickly changes the subject.
Jyn’Leeviyah was summoned to the Vermilion Minotaur by Arnie to administer his citizenship trial(Arnie had used a Wizard Summoning Stone he received when he wasn’t on air, after finishing the written portion of the exam). Usidore fills her in on what’s happened to them since they last saw her, including their truce with the Dark Lord while they try and defeat the void. Jyn’Leeviyah reveals that she also made a truce with the Dark Lord.
The story goes that she encountered the Dark Lord on the island of Mikra while having intercourse with a bunch of selkies, as is her nature. The Dark Lord's ship had capsized, and he proposed a truce to her offering the reward of being able to heal her “disgusting scarred face,” to which Usidore takes great offense.
Chunt says something that doesn’t really make sense during her story, making Jyn’Leeviyah ask if he’s have a stroke or if he’s having intercourse with someone “fake and evil and tainted.”
Regardless, Jyn’Leeviyah agrees to give Arnie his citizenship trial under the condition that he gets her something from his world once he gets the chance: a bottle of Olay lotion for her face. Arnie agrees.
Somehow Twosidore comes up in conversation again, throwing Jyn’Leeviyah into a rage. She shouts and calls him a fraud, insinuating that he’s lying to Chunt about being a real wizard. Chunt denies that Twosidore would lie to him like that.
Then Jyn’Leeviyah and Usidore begin to argue about the status of their relationship, bickering back and forth like an old married couple until the ad break.
When they come back, Arnie’s finally trial begins! Well… after Usidore and Jyn’Leeviyah have more lovey-dovey back and forths. Then the trial begins!
There are three phases to the trial. First, Arnie must teach an animal how to Dougie. Arnie, of course, doesn’t know this Foonish dance, so Chunt helps him out by pretending like Arnie taught it to him. Chunt does a little dance for Jyn’Leeviyah and the first phase is passed!
The second phase requires Arnie to accurately evaluate himself as a plant. He starts to scribble out some traits about himself, including positivity, joie de vivre, sass, stank, and bad handwriting, like a child’s. Jyn’Leeviyah takes the paper he wrote on, eats it, and immediately turns it into a plant seed. When she plants the seed, it begins to grow into a tiny plant. Arnie gets a little emotional and asks to keep and take care of it, which Jyn’Leeviyah allows.
Jyn’Leeviyah then reveals that she has a black, rotting leg that matches Usidore’s obsidian arm. Jyn’Leeviyah suggests that he rub his arm against her leg to see what happens. As he does, she exclaims that he is healing her leg! She asks him to keep stroking as they continue onto the next phase, which is exactly as sexual as you think it is.
For the third phase, Arnie is to plant his seed in a women so that she gives birth to his child, then abandon that child for two or so years so that they wouldn’t even remember him if they saw him again, as to harden his heart. Arnie sadly says that he’s pretty much already accomplished that, to which Jyn’Leeviyah rejoices and magics him a little star ribbon for his chest. Arnie is now a citizen of Foon! Though now he misses home on Earth even more…
Regardless, Arnie suggests that to help Jyn’Leeviyah and Usidore get through their rocky relationship problems, they should pretend to be each other like he’s seen couples do on TV. I’m not exactly sure what the exercise helped, but Jyn’Leeviyah likes Arnie more as a result of it so that’s a plus.
Then Twosidore comes in, making Jyn’Leeviyah bristle. In the past, she would drive him away with fire and brimstone, and she murdered his family. He forgives her for everything and acts like the generally amiable person he usually is, but Jyn’Leeviyah still doesn’t trust him whatsoever and warns Arnie that Twosidore and Chunt should not have sex and that they should never be married.
As Jyn’Leeviyah takes her leave, she warns Chunt again about Twosidore, saying she’ll give him the dark scoop about Twosidore. The Scoopidore, if you will. Before the beloved new character Scoopidore can make an appearance, however, Arnie calls Mundle for the theme music and the show fades out.
Additional appearances
New characters
- Scoopidore
Earth references
- black lights and hotel rooms
- "Who Put The Bop In The Bop Shoo Bop" — The Platters
- Coachella
- Proactiv
- silky smooth
- Bubonic plague
- Twelve Angry Men
- Oil of Olay
- 'Yodel-odel-ay-hee-hoo!''
- junk in the trunk
- Volvo
- Star Trek phasers
- surf 'n' turf
- Dr. Phil
- larb
- swag
- The Dougie
- Nickelodeon's Doug
- Casper Mattresses
- "What's good for the goose is good for the gander"
- having a stroke
- Tears for Fears
- talking stick
- The Muppets' Statler and Waldorf
- Richard M. Nixon ("I am not a crook!")
- motivational kitten posters
- "Hold the Door"
- The Guild web series
- rain on your wedding day superstition
- joie de vivre
Behind the scenes
Jyn'Leeviyah Returns |
Arnie, Jyn'Leeviyah, Usidore, Chunt |