Season 2, Ep 71 – Castle Nowhere
Castle Nowhere
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date August 5, 2018
Episode no. S02E71
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Honey Vandershrimp the Concierge
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Garrett Schultz
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Episode chronology
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"Castle Nowhere" is the seventy-first episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on August 5, 2018.


What’s on the other side of the portal in the basement? Castle Nowhere. And Honey Vandershrimp.


The Mysterious Man starts the episode, and he’s still trying break into the space bunker, but his own security system is working against him.

We learn that after the guys walk through the portal, they end up in a castle. Usidore believes that they are in some sort of pocket dimension.

The guys start opening doors but they can’t go through any of them. They decide to ring the bell at the front and meet Honey Vandershrimp, the concierge of Castle Nowhere.

Honey tells them that they might be trapped there. In order to get out, they need to open one of the doors at the same time someone on the other side does.

Usidore was applying for a platinum membership in the castle when Honey takes his picture. After she takes the picture, she giggles creepily while some noises come from the stairs. Honey admits that there are creatures roaming the stairs. The creatures are minions of the Dark Lord.

They learn that Honey has to answer every question with the truth, so they ask her how to leave. She tells them they can just leave the way they came. Usidore breaks the spell holding Honey, so she no longer has to answer to the Dark Lord.

The guys run back through the portal and are back in the basement of the Vermilion Minotaur. They learn that they were gone for seven days. They manage to sneak out of the tavern without anyone seeing them.

Space bunker

The Mysterious Man closes the episode, and he tries to throw insults at the security system, causing the AI to delete itself and grants the Mysterious Man access to the security.

After the credits, Usidore can be heard walking through the town trying too hard to be inconspicuous, with various townspeople reacting to him.

Additional appearances

  • Samantha
  • Macho Mantis Randy Mantis

Earth references

  • Final Fantasy victory fanfare
  • Yellow Submarine, “Nowhere Man”
  • "There's a Hole in My Bucket" children’s rhyme
  • Shrek, Lord Farquaad, John Lithgow
  • Cliffhanger
  • Otis Spunkmeyer cookies
  • James Van Der Beek
  • Don't Trust the B—— in Apartment 23
  • Rumpelstiltskin
  • Hotel for Dogs
  • Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
  • push-button telephone, dialtone
  • "867-5309/Jenny" - Tommy Tutone
  • happy hour
  • Chili’s To Go
  • Au Bon Pain
  • Ya burnt!
  • Vibranium
  • Neve Campbell, Party of Five, Scream, Wild Things
  • Seinfeld
  • Vanderpump Rules
  • VH1’s Pop-Up Video

Behind the scenes

Castle Nowhere
Image Unavailable
Arnie, Chunt, Usidore, and Honey
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