Season 2, Ep 8 – Dripfang
Season 2, Ep 8 – Dripfang
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Air Date: May 8, 2017 Episode Link
Previous Episode S02E08 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Usidore, Chunt Guests: Chef Inquisitor Dripfang
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Garrett Schultz Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: The Layman with Jon Gabrus, Casper Mattresses (offer code: MAGICTAVERN), and Blue Apron

Description

"The Dark Lord’s Chef Inquisitor pays a visit. And that is not a typo."

Summary

Arnie explains the show up top, per usual. Hogsface is still under control of the Dark Lord, although the trio is taking some new approaches to fight their imprisonment: Chunt reminds the group of the time he learned dark magic (the use of which Usidore warns against) and explains that he’s going to try to use it to persuade his guards, and Usidore reveals that he’s been able to subvert the potion that had been draining his strength by accessing the power of the shadows in his cell.

After a long tear of Blink-182 puns, the conversation is interrupted by a new arrival in the tavern with an entourage of orcs, goblins, and bridge troll guards in tow: Dripfang, Chef Inquisitor to the Dark Lord, who joins the trio at their table after much pomp and circumstance. After a moment of confusion on Arnie’s part, Chunt explains that the Chef Inquisitor is an important role in Foon, being the person who can shut down any restaurant or tavern on a whim. Dripfang clarifies that he was supposed to be Chief Inquisitor, having attained such a rank through three great feats of necromancy (turning an entire village of orphans into pythons, burning down a village of sickly people via lighting a book of healing potions on fire and throwing it down a well filled with oil, facing and subsequently killing his father in “one-on-one singular combat”), but there was a typo.

Dripfang begins to question Arnie about how he traveled from Earth to Foon, but not before getting sidetracked and using his magic to create a serving of deviled eggs for the group (and a double amount for Arnie through the doubling spell “pooft”). After some stalling, he calls over a stenographer orc—Grack Grack—who he subsequently kills, reanimates, then kills again. After calling over another stenographer orc, he continues his questioning, asking if Arnie’s “answering a question with another question” thing is an Earth Thing or not, which Arnie deflects by asking him what the Dark Lord plans to do with this information. Dripfang clarifies that the Dark Lord intends to use whatever information Arnie has to invade and obliterate Earth.

The interrogation is once again run off the rails as Dripfang complains about Hogsface, which sets Usidore off into a fervor before being reminded by Arnie and Chunt that he’s still supposed to be pretending to be weak. Surrounded by copious amounts of Dripfang’s deviled eggs due to the doubling spell, they take a break to get some accompanying drinks.

After the break, Dripfang indulges the group on a bit of his backstory: he explains that he was born under three Michelin stars to a necromancer (his father) and eight cobras (his mother), formed out of the vapors the cobras exhaled. Chunt ushers Arnie and Usidore under the table to relate his conclusion that—as evidenced by the various snake mentions—Dripfang is just a bunch of tiny snakes in a skin suit. Eventually, Usidore kicks him in the leg, which causes three snakes to come out, confirming their suspicions. Dripfang clarifies that he’s actually one thousand snakes in a skin suit, and also reveals that he’s trying to force Arnie to eat more deviled eggs so that he’ll have more “life essence”, which will impart all of the secrets of Earth when he dies. He then proceeds to cast a spell that creates child brain snakes in order to extract secrets from Arnie, which Usidore helps combat by arguing with Dripfang in Arnie’s own mind via magic. However, Arnie does reveal a single secret: a childhood memory where he stole another kid’s trading cards on the playground. Dissatisfied, Dripfang realizes he sent in the snake that retrieves “bullshit childhood memories,” and furthermore reveals (perhaps due to drinking too much wine) that one way to thwart the Dark Lord’s plot would be for Arnie to exercise more, which Arnie pledges to do, but not before stating that he already loves his body as is.

The show closes out with an email from “BK Maybe”, who asks Arnie to stop stealing their Wi-Fi, and a quick exchange between Dripfang and Usidore, who both declare that they hate but respect each other.

Back in the space bunker, the Mysterious Man declares that they put off finding out who created the dimensional portal between Earth and Foon long enough, and leaves to fire up the charting array while Craig finishes up the credits per usual.

Foon Sponsor

None

Additional New Characters

  • Grack Grack the Orc

Additional Appearances

None

Earth References

Notes

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