Season 2, Ep 83 – Blemish Returns
Blemish Returns
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
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Air date October 28, 2018
Episode no. S02E83
Episode Link
Cast
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Blemish
Production
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor Tim Joyce
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Sponsor
Episode chronology
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"Chunt for Red October 4: Rainbow Squish" "Traach and Treasure"
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"Blemish Returns" is the eighty-third episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on October 28, 2018.

Description

With the help of Magic Paint, Blemish is back. More than one Blemish, in fact.

Summary

Space bunker intro

Emperor Craig is away and the Mysterious Intern is sowing doubt in Queen Tricia.

The podcast

Arnie is wet again (or still), obsessed with the Orange Beast riddle. He believes the river wants Earth Stuff, and he has tossed in the rest of his Camry parts. This caused the river to glow a little. He thinks if he can get it to glow brightly enough, it will unlock the next piece of the riddle.

Usidore thinks Earth holds the metaphorical key to getting close enough to the Dark Lord to kill him with the Blade of Veysco Hallan. He’s also still on fire. Arnie proposes they try to wrap things up by Episode 100.

Chunt tries to shift the conversation to wedding plans. He’s decided he wants the entire wedding party to wear jeans and pink polos.

Usidore orders a round of drinks from… Blemish? He admits he and Chunt have been playing with the magic paint. Usi made a fancy, aspirational carfoon version of Blemish, and Chunt made a carfoon cat that vomits Blemishes. So close, Chunt.

Arnie has also created another more realistic carfoon Blemish, except this one is nasty. Real nasty. Chunt gets jealous, because he feels being nasty is his niche. As Chunt and Blemish challenge each other, Arnie and Usi realize Chunt isn’t even real. He’s just a nasty little carfoon.

Usidore wonders if they could create a realistic enough carfoon, could it replace the original? He disappears to the Astral Plane to contemplate art and reality. Arnie contemplates his own creative crisis: what do you do when your creation takes on a life of its own and you no longer recognize it?

Usi returns and announces carfoons have no souls and should be killed immediately. He takes their pain away by dissolving them with paint thinner. Arnie and Usi are left to wonder if they themselves are even real. Usidore nips back off to the Astral Plane where the disembodied voice gives him the key to determining humanity. He returns to the tavern and asks Arnie if he thinks paint is delicious. Because Arnie doesn’t immediately shoot it down, Usidore declares him definitively a carfoon. He also admits that paint is obviously delicious, which means he must be a carfoon as well.

Arnie blames art for their existential quandary. Depressed, Usidore drinks paint thinner and dissolves. Arnie apologizes to Fancy Blemish for his pointless existence and the ephemerality of a carfoon life. Fancy Blemish requests a carfoon paint chick, and as Arnie sketches a quick bride for the monster, the real Chunt and Usidore appear at This Very Table.

They end the episode agreeing to collaborate on a really good carfoon Blemish.

Earth references

  • Mean Girls (“Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen.”)
  • Extant
  • Tony N’ Tina’s Wedding
  • Finnegans Wake
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
  • nesting dolls
  • Dress for the job that you want
  • Nasty - Janet Jackson
  • Empty Nest
  • Bob Ross
  • Who Framed Roger Rabbit
  • Bloom County
  • Voight-Kampff Test
  • Animal Man (1988) - Grant Morrison
  • Jon Voight
  • “What is Love” - Haddaway
  • Shoe
  • Mallard Fillmore

Behind the scenes

Season 2, Ep 83 – Blemish Returns
Image Unavailable
Chunt, Usidore, Blemish, Arnie
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