Season 2, Ep 84 – Traach and Treasure
Traach and Treasure
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date November 4, 2018
Episode no. S02E84
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Traach the Kobold
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Ryan DiGiorgi
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Episode chronology
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"Blemish Returns" "Gettin' Nuts Season 2"
List of episodes

"Traach and Treasure" is the eighty-fourth episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on November 4, 2018.


Traach the Kobold returns to help us assess the many magic items found in the tavern.


Arnie has continued to visit the underground river trying to solve the riddle of The Weapon. Usidore is wondering if Germ Crust will be at the wedding, feeling awkward after learning he fell in love with Germ in an alternate timeline. Chunt is excited and nervous about his upcoming wedding, and asks Arnie about marriage. Usidore tells Chunt he has warmed to Twosidore.

Their guest is Traach, the kobold. The kobolds have also formed a truce with the Dark Lord, forgiving him for the murder of their dragon god in exchange for use of his werehouses for storage of their treasures. In personal news, Traach has begun dating a conspiracy of birds and rain and fire; that is to say: Usidore's parents. Usidore is… fine with it.

Traach then helps identify various items the boys found:

  • Liquid Javelin from Migas in the year 70
  • Ligma Balls - pop one in your mouth to prevent damage from a major magic attack
  • Cursed Ballistic Bracers - tightly bind to your arms and will rip off your arms if you utter the code phrase
  • Core Apple - anyone who easts or bites into it will be magically bound to it, so that then you discard it you will be magically transported to wherever you tossed it
  • Buttfor - just hold it to keep regular
  • Frozen Rose - from Gartax region (a small province near Gratax) people there used to cool themselves
  • A possible Voltron Set - which when assembled make an un-defeatable warrior (except they're missing a piece, in the shape of a weird axe)

Arnie is also seeking more materials from Earth, to toss in the underground river and make it glow, as part of the Orange Beast Riddle. Traach discovers that mixed in with his belongings were the Earth items sent through the dimensional portal by listeners (then stolen by The Dark Lord when he conquered the town, and stored with Traach's belongings).

They all go to the underground river and toss in the Earth stuff, which they talk about. When all the Earth treasure has been dumped into the river, a stone pedestal rises from the far side of the river, and on it is a stone chair engraved with the name "Swamps McGee." They'll seek out Swamps McGee the turtle-guy, but for now they congratulate themselves on the progress they've made. Usidore give his blessing to Traach dating his parents.

Items which were thrown into the underground river include:

  • A shirt that says "Bring It"1
  • ILM shirts2
  • Oscar Mayer whistles3
  • Smash Mouth CD4
  • Edible chocolate anuses
  • Rubber cock and balls
  • Bag of bouncy balls
  • Candy bars from Zingerman's Delicatessen in Ann Arbor, MI5
  • Snickers bars
  • Weird Japanese food6
  • Family tartan
  • A mug that says "It's Good To Be King"7
  • "Magic: The Gathering" bird card8
  • A sudoku book9
  • "Reynolds Pamphlet" by Alexander Hamilton10
  • A welcome mat that reads "Ding Doon"
  • crocheted Chunt doll with two buttholes11
  • "Curse Awarness" buttons with buttholes12
  • "I'm Questing for the Luna Sword" shirt13
  • A backpack that looks like a badger14
  • The Jared K. Andersen Choice Award 2016 for Best Transdimensional Tavern-Based Podcast
  • Dan Smith business cards
  • Masks
  • CD a listener burned of a short film they made
  • Owl pellets15
  • A bottle of energy drink/cologne16
  • Knitted Usidore and Spintax dolls17
  • Doctor Who mug18
  • Pieces of an "I'm a Dad, That's My Super Power" mug19 that Arnie had to break
  • Knitted scarf
  • A back scratcher for Chunt to use as a better arm when he was cursed20
  • Toy dinosaurs21
  • "Congratulations" card sent to Princess Trachea-Aurelia Belaroth22
  • New York Observer shirts and magazine23
  • A giant Harry Potter candy set not mentioned on the show

Additional appearances

  • Robot Arnie

Earth references

  • "Take Me to the Water" - Nina Simone
  • Mullet (business up front, party in the back)
  • Loot Crate
  • Cabo Wabo
  • Garbage Pail Kids
  • Voltron
  • The Iceman Cometh
  • Serial
  • Harry Potter - Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans

Behind the scenes

Season 2, Ep 84 – Traach and Treasure
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Chunt, Traach, Arnie, Usidore
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