Season 2, Ep 89 – Book Club: Pride & Prejudice
Book Club: Pride & Prejudice
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date December 9, 2018
Episode no. S02E89
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Flower, Germ Crust, Krom the Fingarian
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Associate Producer {$associateproducer}
Editor Ryan DiGiorgi
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Audio assistance Jason Knox
Production assistance Garrett Schultz
Episode chronology
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"Book Club: Pride & Prejudice" is the eighty-ninth episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on December 9, 2018.


A wizard, a warrior, a badger, a flower, and a make-up artist try to understand the Earth book ‘Pride and Prejudice’.


Summary in Prose

Arnie, Chunt, & Usidore begin the episode attempting to "put on airs" and use formal titles in honor of their book club selection, Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice. Fellow book club attendees include Flower; King Krom of Fingaria, who has traveled from the north to participate in the discussion (bringing butternut crumble and covered in the blood of birds he killed in a rage en route), and Germ Crust, who Usidore invited without informing the others. Usidore is intrigued by Germ after learning of his romance with her in the alternate reality he viewed with the Eyes of Sliddindors.

The Foonish consensus is the book is short on sex, but otherwise there is a wide variety of thoughts on the story, characters, and the society they inhabit, leading to a lively discussion. It is also discovered that Chunt ended up with a copy of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. After finishing he sold the book at a second-hand store, where Germ purchased it and read it in turn. The revelation of their connection leads Chunt & Germ to flirt, to the surprise of Usidore. It is only the first moment of jealousy between the wizard and the make-up artists, as Germ is later hurt when Usidore gives a flower he accidentally summons to Flower. The two take a stroll around the tavern to discuss the misunderstanding and are soon friendly again, with the two agreeing to share a dance at Chunt & Twosidore's wedding.

Arnie begins to worry Germ is under Usidore's station, and urges Chunt to join him in pressuring their friend against pursuing a relationship. Krom is asked to sing to pass the time, and shares a Fingarian folk song. Yearly incomes are compared.

Chunt asks Arnie to consider that he is as prejudiced against Twosidore as Elizabeth was against Mr. Darcy, causing Arnie to question his judgement of Twosidore. Krom is questioned if, as a single man of good fortune, specifically his people's king, he was in want of a wife, and Flower tells him not to be pushed into marriage. Germ asks Usidore to be her date to the wedding, and he happily accepts.

Summary in Poetry

Today the Hogsface pub
is hosting a book club,
discussing Pride & Prejudice at length.
So Mr. Niekamp will
with Mr. Chunt now spill
the plots, themes, characters, and writing strength.
There’s Mr. Wizard too,
with cyclone made anew.
And Mr. Niekamp takes opinions first.
Rich people play a part,
notes Mr. Chunt to start,
as in the last book, they are still the worst.
And Mr. Wizard tells
them that he’s found no spells.
A common trait to both Earth books they’ve read.
In Foon it’s bad when shown
bad talent, if it’s known.
And may lead to performers being dead.

The first guest Mr. The
Fingarian brought a
big bag of treats, and talks of being king.
Outside the pub today
some birds were in the way.
They fought, and blood got onto everything.
He cannot read a word
so from a servant heard
the book. He reads in drawings if that counts.
A journal of his dreams,
in drawings he makes, seems
to have some meaning, if in small amounts.

And Flower is there too.
She saw the fight ensue
of birds and Mr. The Fingarian.
Without fists of his own
but human bodies thrown
provided such a bloody, scary win.
He once with Flower went
to anger management.
The class helped neither one, and Flower quit.
Now she feeds her rage
which she’s found on the page.
Entailment’s one thing she liked it not one bit.

And then it is confessed
that there is one more guest.
The group invites to sit down Lady Crust.
And Mr. Chunt invites
her to his wedding rites
the others too, but they don’t get one-plus-ed.
Due to that timeline thing
did Mr. Wizard bring
her, or is it because she’s on his quest?
He says she’s just a friend.
The wedding they’ll attend.
The times they’ll dance there (two) is then addressed.

The plot, no one expects,
lacks any sort of sex
unlike books, for the most part, there in Foon.
Each book type, they recall,
are rarely that banal,
explained in steamy prose and by cartoon.
And other words from Earth
are harder than their worth
since different things mean different things to wit.
The rules on Earth do too
work differently, it’s true;
and Flower thinks for females it’s unfit.
The book contains love too,
and handsome women woo
the wealthy men to varying degrees.
In old times Austin wrote
this book sans snub-nosed boat,
though in some versions there are zo-om-bies.
At times a judgy tale,
the lesson’s never stale.
On Foon they’d rather solve with violent ends.
The character with weight,
one Pemberly Estate,
was big—ten thousand pounds more than his friends.

The next big question shipped:
Who had more sex postscript?
And Flower asks about a Caroline.
Say “Mumbo Jumbo!” here,
and wizards make appear
a flower—one for Flower, though some pine
for it, like Lady Crust
who thought toward her it thrust,
so Mr. Wizard writes a sorry note.

They clarify the text,
at least they try their best,
on all the lesbians on which to dote.
The members unawares,
speak secretly in pairs,
Till Mr. The Fingarian sings true.

Then Mr. Chunt thinks they
should go around and say
how much they stand to make, as rich folk do.
But Mr. Niekamp rents,
and his job makes no sense
to Mr. Chunt, who’ll make twelve hundred flat.
And Mr. Wizard will
give to two voles a bill
for being tenants underneath his hat.
And Flower has some skill
to trade for chlorophyll.
One day she’ll get the wind and fly for sure.
On more than one ghost friend
can Lady Crust depend
who scare their kin to leave boo bucks for her.
But Mr. Fingari—
an sorrowfully says he
will gain four pounds, but can’t ten thousand charge
as Mister Darcy takes
with his investment stakes,
who must be Pemberly, the man so large.

What thoughts are they left with
about Elizabeth?
She’s fearless, strong, and never just gives in.
She takes a wedding blouse
when man becomes a house,
but is it made of wood, stone, steel, or skin?
The image is so sweet,
should Lady Crust now meet
a love, she’ll say that he’s her skin house too.
And Mr. Wizard sacks
a chance to say he lacks
a love, a topic he’d as well eschew,
at least around those here.
He’s single, though. It’s clear.
And Mr. Chunt emotes the love he sees.

The book’s first title, though
was First Impressions, so
now Mr. Chunt asks Mr. Niekamp: Please
give all a second chance
as wedding vows advance.
But Lady Crust prefers Foon’s customs more.
Rich men might settle here
for girls like her each year.
But Mr. Wizard thinks she’s quite a catch.
On kings that need a mate,
advises Flower: wait.
She’s got regretful stories she could hatch.

Then they’re in the mood
to talk of wedding food,
and Lady Crust invites her own plus one.
They talk of zombies too,
boats, brains, and bucks of boo,
and married couples having any fun.

If anybody could
then Mr. Chunt there would
be physically equipped to love a house.
Each book club member starts
to list the likely parts
for which desires they would need to douse.
The chimney, ceiling fan?
a knob or the trash can?
The bathroom grout has often lots of caulk.
One’s neighbors may provoke
the world to laugh and poke.
Of books, notes Mr. Chunt, it’s fun to talk.

Then since the wine is out
they say the book’s about
wits, love, change, houses, Mary, and debts paid.
Jane Austin would be proud
if she could hear this crowd
and all the insights from her book they made.


  • Arnie and Chunt try to make "To err is human" happen again1
  • Usidore still doesn't know what a "snub-nosed motor boat" is2

Earth references

  • Mr. Wizard
  • There’s Something About Mary
  • anal sex
  • Fortnite
  • Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
  • “Zombie” - Cranberries
  • "Sweet Caroline" - Neil Diamond
  • gumbo
  • Inherit the Wind
  • Cider House Rules
  • Fight Club
  • “Brick House” - Commodores
  • The C Word

Behind the scenes

Book Club: Pride & Prejudice
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Flower, Usidore, Krom the Fingarian, Chunt, Germ Crust, Arnie
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