| Season 2, Ep 9 – Herbalists | ||
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| Air Date: May 15, 2017 | Episode Link | |
| Previous Episode | S02E09 | Next Episode |
| Hosts: Arnie, Usidore, Chunt | Guests: Herbalists Fig and Maple Milkweed | |
| Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi | ||
| Editor: Ryan DiGiorgi | Theme Music: Andy Poland | Logo: Allard Laban |
| Audio Assistance: Jason Knox Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz |
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Sponsored by: Bitch Sesh: A Real Housewives Breakdown and ZipRecruiter |
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Description
"Magic can’t solve everything. Maybe the Milkweeds can help us with some natural remedies. Also, Chunt is now in a power position."
Summary
Chunt is now a guard, thanks to a magic spell he used to convince other guards to let him join their ranks. This means he technically works for the Dark Lord, so Chunt tells Arnie and Usidore that they cannot openly conspire against the Dark Lord in front of him, and insists on using coded language instead. They decide to refer to the Dark Lord as the “Book Club,” but they also insist on starting an actual book club. Arnie cannot think of any books from Earth, and they encourage listeners to submit book recommendations for the book club, as well as their plans to defeat the “Book Club.”
Their guests this week are herbalists, Fig and Maple Milkweed. They are deeply in love and run a store where they use natural remedies to treat illnesses.
Wizards and witches do not respect herbalists because they don’t use magic. Usidore is no exception, and is openly hostile to Fig and Maple and accuses them of being charlatans. He admits that modern magic has its limits, but he thinks that completely replacing magic with natural remedies is absurd. Fig and Maple counter that magic can address the symptoms by not the root causes.
Arnie asks Fig and Maple about the ailments that they treat, and they common treat headaches in orcs. Orcs lacks the cranial fluid that cushions their brain, causing regular headaches, but it also makes them great percussionists. They also treat a lot of dwarf lung, it’s when dwarfs get diamond and jewel dust in their lungs. The biggest sickness they encounter is ego and start making jabs at Usidore.
Usidore changes his mind about the herbalists and expresses interest in studying with Fig and Maple, and they offer him a place to stay while studying with them. Usidore leaves the table for a moment, and Arnie asks the Milkweeds if they are conning Usidore, but they deflect. Usidore returns and says that he recruited two more herbalists to join him in studying and living with Fig and Maple. Usidore later realizes that he can’t join them because he’s still a prisoner in the tavern.
Emails
Why do you have only one episode a week?
Answer: Arnie thinks once a week is a nice pace, but the one time they recorded two episodes the “Book Club” attacked, so they learned their lesson.
What happened to Pizza Skull during or after the Dark Lord’s attack?
Answer: Pizza Skull is usually fine. He could also be dead in Pizza Hell, working his way through the Seven Pizza Feats to return as Foon’s Pizza Champion.
Instead of drinking the magic-blocking option, can Usidore imbibe it through one of his butt-holes? Would it have the opposite effect and restore his powers?
Usidore has avoided drinking the magic-blocking potion recently because he realized that the guards do not watch him drink it.
Back in the space bunker, the Mysterious Man gets an email:
How many levels of cataclysmic events are there?
Do they get worst with higher numbers?
Is each level a specific style or series of cataclysms?
Can such events be created artificially by mortals, or only by the advanced technology aboard the space bunker?
Answers:
There are 6 levels of cataclysms, and the number refers to category (not severity):
- Ancient god resurfacing
- Total protonic reversal
- Baking related
- Space-time fissure cascade
- Visible spectrum collapsing into only yellow
- Unstoppable dance party
And the space bunker does not cause cataclysms, they only sort them out.
Foon Sponsor
Glen Weldon of Top Torture Happy Hour with a pledge drive for NPR (Necromantic Powerful Ruler).
Additional Appearances
None
Earth References
- "My Shot" — Hamilton
- "Hit Me with Your Best Shot" — Pat Benatar
- Courtney Love, Hole
- Many books including:
- One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
- Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by J. K. Rowling
- The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
- The Indian in the Cupboard by Lynne Reid Banks
- The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
- Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
- The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
- The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
- The Cider House Rules by John Irving
- The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
- All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
- The Bible
- The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
- Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates
- The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon
- Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
- Harvey Milk
- "Smells Like Teen Spirit" — Nirvana
- Herbie Hancock
- Herbie the Love Bug
- Herbal Essences shampoo
- NPR: Pop Culture Happy Hour, Embedded, Hidden Brain, Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
- This American Life, and how people often mistake it for an NPR show
- Stomp
- Off-Broadway
- Pyramid schemes, Herbalife
- Over the Garden Wall
- Ouroboros, the snake eating its own tail
- Potheads
- Catch Me If You Can
- TV Guide
Behind the Scenes
| Herbalists |
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| Chunt, Fig and Maple Milkweed, Usidore, Arnie |
