Season 2, Ep 90 – What Winter Solstice Means to Me (w/ Tawney Newsome, Symphony Sanders and More, Live from Chicago)
Season 2, Ep 90 – What Winter Solstice Means to Me (w/ Tawney Newsome, Symphony Sanders and More, Live from Chicago)
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Air Date: December 16, 2018 Episode Link
Previous Episode S02E90 Next Episode
Hosts: Arnie, Chunt, Usidore Guests: Activia Barleyfoot, Jamillious the Mauve, Flower
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Garrett Schultz Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by:

Description

Activia Barleyfoot, Flower the talking flower, Jamilous the Mauve Wizard and more stop by to help celebrate the many holidays of Winter Solstice.

Summary

‘Twas the night of the solstice of winter in Foon.
The Vermilion Minotaur glowed beneath moon.
Just as always there, Arnie sat casting his pod,
First he greeted the patrons, and then — “OH MY GOD!”
On the balcony exes of Chunt hung with care,
hoping he and blue Usidore soon would be there.
Although recognized, Chunt could be heard asking, “Who?”
before Arnie changed topics to holidays new.
As an Earthling the A-Train felt culturally dumb,
and so Chunt tried explaining the customs of some,
like a little man dancing on top of a hand.
(If an Eagle stood, watching all show, that’d be grand.)
From wizardly entrance arose such a clatter
they had to address an Italian food matter.
The holiday cheer in the wizard was brimming.
He sang about twenty five swans that were swimming.
While the birds there already enjoyed perfect pitch,
they watched close, for a swan without coral’s a witch.
Back on Earth, Arnie noted, that Christmas is cursed
for the meaning has changed, as with Santa’s mom-thirst.
Then Activia Barleyfoot wished them good cheer.
She’s a kindlier part-elf at this time of year,
who enjoys flashing lights linked by spell. If done right,
they give luster like midday to Hogsface at night.
Whether eight, crazy nights or eight, tiny reindeer
an assortment of holidays bless creatures here.
Then Jamillious the Mauve visits them to explain
more traditions of Foon that he tries to maintain,
such as giving out food and some flimsy made shoes
to the ones more in need in the sizes they’d choose.
There’s a song Arnie knows that Jamillious finds whipped,
noting Usidore sings out his spells without script.
There’s another tradtion: Black Friday, it’s called;
where possessions of snow colored creatures are hauled
if they didn’t get gifts for the opposite shades,
although Barleyfoot wonders if these are not raids.
There is Side Bird on Monday — Sigh Bird for the glum.
And there’s Fuck Local Saturday: first served, first come.
And with Tuesday of Giving, Activia asks
if there’s time to support perpendicular tasks.
If mauve wizards with backpacks are dressed to the nines,
it’s the duty of wing men to understand signs.
After talking so long of their solstice regimes,
they asked Arnie about Christmas memories (or dreams).
With mamma in the bathroom, and he by the tree,
and the ornaments still in the box on week three.
“Now Elsa! now Anna!” his girl cried in scene.
Then to Usidore, Arnie asked, “What does it mean?”
To distract from that, solstice time tales are their choice.
and use Rhapsody Gunderheirre’s symphonic voice.
She explains there’s a season long fruit throwing game;
weather forecasts, though right and wrong rates are the same;
giant mallets to hit those they see on the street;
and a party to mark the first dark lord’s defeat.
There’s a story about when his image appears —
if Ted only had given back Gunder’s old shears.
There exist other days with some killing involved.
On a railroad a murder’s a purge — all’s absolved.
And then frienemy enters the group. It is Flower.
She was left on a table for most of the hour,
so she screams at the wizard until calm to talk.
It’s not really that bad for she’s learned how to walk.
Motivated by fit bit, she learned right away.
But Jamillious says he would make much better prey.
After showing the boundaries of her comfort zone
she moves onto animals, sold on a loan.
It’s a day she knows well, and she also knows some
by their sequels, although only knows their outcome.
But then Flower is given a near heart attack
when she sees that Activia now has come back.
She had searched high and low, but returned and forgot,
ending up in a very unenviable spot:
high school sweetheart or bakery prince — which to choose?
But the wizard explains she need not feel the blues,
for if both are the same, there’s a sure happy end.
This reminds Chunt that he knows an eagle — good friend.
And a friend that is pregnant and near a divorce
can advise with ideas for neat traps, of course.
And then animals, humans, and creatures more strange
heard a shout, “Happy Solstice!” and then “Keep the change!”

Additional Appearances

Rhapsody Gunderheirre

Earth References

Chicago’s Eagle Man
12 Days of Christmas
“Call Me Maybe” - Carly Rae Jepsen
Monopoly
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
Teen Wolf
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
A Christmas Carol
"A Visit from St. Nicholas" ("Twas the Night Before Christmas") - Clement Clarke Moore
Hannukah
Die Hard
“8 Crazy Nights”
Sixteen Candles
My Girl
“The Christmas Shoes”
jerk chicken
Black Friday
Yo, That’s Racist
Black People Time
Cyber Monday
Shop Local Saturday
Think globally, act locally
Disney's Frozen, Elsa and Anna
The Wonder Years
railroads
“I’ve Been Working On The Railroad”
Sony PlayStation
Whac-A-Mole
Duck, duck, goose
Honda Days
Hallmark Christmas TV movies, Dean Cain
"happy ending"
golf - eagle, birdie
Home Alone

Behind the Scenes

Notes

Arnie seemingly does not recognize the names Elsa and Anna from Disney's Frozen even though it came out while he was still on Earth.

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