What Winter Solstice Means to Me (w/ Tawny Newsome, Symphony Sanders and More, Live from Chicago) | |
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
Air date | December 16, 2018 |
Episode no. | S02E90 |
Episode Link | |
Cast | |
Hosts | Arnie, Chunt, Usidore |
Guests | Activia Barleyfoot, Jamillious the Mauve, Flower |
Production | |
Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi |
Associate Producer | {$associateproducer} |
Editor | Garrett Schultz |
Logo | Allard Laban |
Theme music | Andy Poland |
Audio assistance | Jason Knox |
Production assistance | Garrett Schultz |
Special thanks | Rose Amer, Tim Schoen, Brad Davis, and the rest of the staff and crew at Thalia Hall |
Sponsor | |
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Episode chronology | |
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"Book Club: Pride & Prejudice" | "Arnie’s Birthday Bonus Scene" |
List of episodes |
"What Winter Solstice Means to Me" is the ninetieth episode of season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on December 16, 2018.
Table of Contents
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Description
Activia Barleyfoot, Flower the talking flower, Jamilous the Mauve Wizard and more stop by to help celebrate the many holidays of Winter Solstice.
Summary
In prose
Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore are in the Vermilion Minotaur, discussing Foonish Solstice traditions and Earth Christmas ones. The bar balcony has a table of Chunt’s exes.
Activia Barleyfoot arrives in much better spirits than usual; she loves Solstice! She didn’t celebrate growing up and is excited by every new solstice holiday she learns of. Jamillious the Mauve also arrives. As the wizard of Feast and Famine he’s been busy this feasting season, and fills the group in on Black Friday.
Arnie shares Christmas memories and a dream he had of being back on Earth. Usidore invites out Rhapsody Gunderheirre, a fairy queen and descendant of the great hero Gunder, who shares Gunderstein traditions and performs a dramatic telling of Gunder’s defeat of the first Dark Lord, Ted, countless centuries ago.
The group spots at Flower at another table invite her over to the table. She talks about her favorite holiday of the season: Honda days. She’s shocked that Activia has returned, and is a little annoyed that no one told her since she’d spent months questing for her. Usidore asks how she didn’t notice Activia had returned since she has been at the tavern. Flower reveals she’s been absent from the tavern because she’s gotten involved in a complicated situation: she has to choose between her high school boyfriend, who has forgotten the true meaning of solstice, and a foreign prince, who she met while working in her friend's failing bakery. The group gives her some advice.
In poetry
‘Twas the night of the solstice of winter in Foon.
The Vermilion Minotaur glowed beneath moon.
Just as always there, Arnie sat casting his pod,
First he greeted the patrons, and then — “OH MY GOD!”
On the balcony exes of Chunt hung with care,
hoping he and blue Usidore soon would be there.
Although recognized, Chunt could be heard asking, “Who?”
before Arnie changed topics to holidays new.
As an Earthling the A-Train felt culturally dumb,
and so Chunt tried explaining the customs of some,
like a little man dancing on top of a hand.
(If an Eagle stood, watching all show, that’d be grand.)
From wizardly entrance arose such a clatter
they had to address an Italian food matter.
The holiday cheer in the wizard was brimming.
He sang about twenty five swans that were swimming.
While the birds there already enjoyed perfect pitch,
they watched close, for a swan without coral’s a witch.
Back on Earth, Arnie noted, that Christmas is cursed
for the meaning has changed, as with Santa’s mom-thirst.
Then Activia Barleyfoot wished them good cheer.
She’s a kindlier part-elf at this time of year,
who enjoys flashing lights linked by spell. If done right,
they give luster like midday to Hogsface at night.
Whether eight, crazy nights or eight, tiny reindeer
an assortment of holidays bless creatures here.
Then Jamillious the Mauve visits them to explain
more traditions of Foon that he tries to maintain,
such as giving out food and some flimsy made shoes
to the ones more in need in the sizes they’d choose.
There’s a song Arnie knows that Jamillious finds whipped,
noting Usidore sings out his spells without script.
There’s another tradtion: Black Friday, it’s called;
where possessions of snow colored creatures are hauled
if they didn’t get gifts for the opposite shades,
although Barleyfoot wonders if these are not raids.
There is Side Bird on Monday — Sigh Bird for the glum.
And there’s Fuck Local Saturday: first served, first come.
And with Tuesday of Giving, Activia asks
if there’s time to support perpendicular tasks.
If mauve wizards with backpacks are dressed to the nines,
it’s the duty of wing men to understand signs.
After talking so long of their solstice regimes,
they asked Arnie about Christmas memories (or dreams).
With mamma in the bathroom, and he by the tree,
and the ornaments still in the box on week three.
“Now Elsa! now Anna!” his girl cried in scene.
Then to Usidore, Arnie asked, “What does it mean?”
To distract from that, solstice time tales are their choice.
and use Rhapsody Gunderheirre’s symphonic voice.
She explains there’s a season long fruit throwing game;
weather forecasts, though right and wrong rates are the same;
giant mallets to hit those they see on the street;
and a party to mark the first dark lord’s defeat.
There’s a story about when his image appears —
if Ted only had given back Gunder’s old shears.
There exist other days with some killing involved.
On a railroad a murder’s a purge — all’s absolved.
And then frienemy enters the group. It is Flower.
She was left on a table for most of the hour,
so she screams at the wizard until calm to talk.
It’s not really that bad for she’s learned how to walk.
Motivated by fit bit, she learned right away.
But Jamillious says he would make much better prey.
After showing the boundaries of her comfort zone
she moves onto animals, sold on a loan.
It’s a day she knows well, and she also knows some
by their sequels, although only knows their outcome.
But then Flower is given a near heart attack
when she sees that Activia now has come back.
She had searched high and low, but returned and forgot,
ending up in a very unenviable spot:
high school sweetheart or bakery prince — which to choose?
But the wizard explains she need not feel the blues,
for if both are the same, there’s a sure happy end.
This reminds Chunt that he knows an eagle — good friend.
And a friend that is pregnant and near a divorce
can advise with ideas for neat traps, of course.
And then animals, humans, and creatures more strange
heard a shout, “Happy Solstice!” and then “Keep the change!”
Additional appearances
- Rhapsody Gunderheirre
Notes
Arnie seemingly does not recognize the names Elsa and Anna from Disney's Frozen even though it came out while he was still on Earth.
Earth references
- Chicago’s Eagle Man
- 12 Days of Christmas
- “Call Me Maybe” - Carly Rae Jepsen
- Monopoly
- “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
- Teen Wolf
- “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”
- A Christmas Carol
- "A Visit from St. Nicholas" ("Twas the Night Before Christmas") - Clement Clarke Moore
- Hannukah
- Die Hard
- “8 Crazy Nights”
- Sixteen Candles
- My Girl
- “The Christmas Shoes”
- jerk chicken
- Black Friday
- Yo, That’s Racist
- Black People Time
- Cyber Monday
- Shop Local Saturday
- Think globally, act locally
- Disney's Frozen, Elsa and Anna
- The Wonder Years
- railroads
- “I’ve Been Working On The Railroad”
- Sony PlayStation
- Whac-A-Mole
- Duck, duck, goose
- Honda Days
- Hallmark Christmas TV movies, Dean Cain
- "happy ending"
- golf - eagle, birdie
- Home Alone