Season 2, Ep 1 – The Podcast
Season 2, Episode 1 – The Podcast
Air Date: March 20, 2017 Episode Link
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Hosts: Arnie, Usidore, Chunt Guests: Baron Ragoon
Producers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgi
Editor: Garrett Schultz Theme Music: Andy Poland Logo: Allard Laban
Audio Assistance: Jason Knox
Production Assistance: Garrett Schultz

Sponsored by: Squarespace (code: MAGIC) and ZipRecruiter


"Whatever happened to the man from Earth, the badger and the wizard?"


We return from an extended interlude to find Hogsface imprisoned by the Dark Lord. Baron Ragoon, on orders from the Dark Lord, insists that Arnie continue the podcast. The Dark Lord is still curious about Earth, and Arnie is the only known connection. Blemish bullies Chunt out of his cell and takes his sperm vial. Chunt and Arnie are eager to bring in Usidore, as they expect he will unleash his magic and free them. Alas, Usidore, disenchanted by a potion he is forced to drink, is now a shadow of his former self. (But he still manages a "shut up" in the midst of his names.) He cannot focus or cast spells. The Baron reminds Usidore that he will be forced to drink the disenchantment potion until he agrees to serve the Dark Lord.

Chunt proclaims that even though he is tortured daily, he will never join the Dark Lord. Arnie compares his prison experience, which includes three meals a day and snacks.

Lacking a guest, they agree to interview the Baron. They start by asking him about sex. He is generally pro-sex. The discussion turns to the death of the Baron's wife, shoved into a river of lava by a spy named Hank on order of "the blue wizard, the badger king, and the other one." She dead.

The Baron is determined to move forward and has met someone new, a peasant wench who appeared the day his wife died. The boys call for a huddle and ask for a round of mead. Blemish withholds raspberry until they praise the Dark Lord. He also threatens to find out some of Usidore's secret names.

Arnie laments being badly outmatched in the great battle. Usidore killed about 900 orcs, Arnie threw the Lunar Sword to Evil Tannakin, but managed to daze a starling in the process. Usidore attempts to teach them a Fireball spell and fails, which depresses him. They further discuss getting prison tattoos. The Baron mentions his own ink, including glyphs of doom. Chunt can read glyphs, but plays it cool.

The lads continue to press the Baron for intel. How can the dark lord be thwarted? He cannot. His reign is inevitable, and he will metaphorically devour all of Foon. Baron reminds Arnie that his door is not locked and he can freely roam around. Chunt asks if he can ask the guards to stop poking his genitals. Usidore asks to stop being forced to drink disenchantment potion. They are denied, but two out of three ain't bad.

Baron confirms that Chu-Chu's Chow has been inhabited by the unsleeping spirits of the dead, but the Buttsoup food cart is still in business.

Arnie asks how to find and defeat the Dark Lord, Chunt asks how magnets work. Answer: misguided will of the goddess Oon. Magnets must be restructured under the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord has made Death his slave, and he cannot be killed.

Baron confesses that the Dark Lord only bothered with Hogsface due to the presence of Usidore. However the Dark Lord has taken over the Baron's castle, and it's a bit inconvenient. Foon is now 17% under Dark Lord occupation.

Chunt tries reverse psychology on Blemish to get a splash of raspberry in his mead. Usidore tries the same on the Baron, but confuses himself.

Arnie and Chunt resolve to use the podcast to send messages to the outside. The Baron tells them they can wander around town, but that a wall has been built around Hogsface at the citizens' expense. Usidore is tired and confused, so he tries to return to his cell, but he gets distracted by emails.


WiFi through resonance stones: Woody explains how resonance stones could be used to upload the podcast whilst questing.

Arnie feels like they may not be heroes, but they can still do what they can to make a difference. BOY'S YEAR…? No, Blemish likes that one too much. Sometimes the stupidest thing can save the world.

Additional Appearances

Earth References


  • The Mysterious Man has 13 fingers, which he uses to act out Doctor Who erotic handfiction.

Behind the Scenes

The Podcast
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Chunt, Arnie, Usidore, Baron Ragoon, Blemish
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