| Season 3, Ep 101 - Volcano | |
| Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
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| Air date | August 16, 2021 |
| Episode no. | S03E101 |
| Episode Link | |
| Cast | |
| Hosts | Arnie, Chunt, Usidore |
| Guests | Momo, Krom, Blemish, Dripfang LeDesparé, Soul Walker |
| Production | |
| Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai |
| Post-production coordination | Garrett Schultz |
| Earwolf producer | Kimmie Lucas |
| Editor | Chris Rathjen |
| Logo | Allard Laban |
| Theme music | Andy Poland |
| Special assistance | Ryan DiGiorgi |
| Sponsor | |
| — | |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Rescue Party" | "Big Announcement" |
| List of episodes | |
"Volcano" is the one hundredth and first regularly numbered episode and the season three finale of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on August 16, 2021.
Description
Season finale. Dripfang and the Soulwalker battle Momo, Krom and Blemish (and Usidore, Chunt and Carfoon Arnie) on a volcano!
Summary
The S.S. Stephanie is approaching the volcano where the Dark Lord resides. Chunt tells Carfoon Arnie to ramp up his intro as it is the season finale, but Cafarnie never gets around to finish it as he is interrupted by Chunt's fake firework noises and Usidore's real magical fireworks1. Cafarnie scolds Usidore for ruining their element of surprise and the group prepares for battle. Carfoon Blemish still doubts the crew, despite joining the crew. Momo, still woefully unprepared, only has flip flops, but refuses to take Krom's for multiple reasons.
As more fireworks are shot into the air, Dripfang sees the display from the volcano and calls upon his army to attack while his ghouls dig up trenches around the base. Cafarnie suggests a safe word, to which Momo contributes "Help". Krom is asked to throw the microphone on shore to hear the opposition. Dripfang and Soul Walker rally their forces to destroy the boat as they gush about how excited they are to finally work together. To prevent them from destroying the boat, Usidore suggests that they destroy their own ship instead and sets the ship on fire. He encourages the group to do the same and save the bears, but Krom is already below deck, ready to start an orgy as he convinces them this is their last day to live. Dripfang makes several bets with the Soul Walker calling dibs on sucking Usidore's Soul. However, the dregs of the ship, and the horny bears, are mere illusions for them to safely arrive on shore. The fires are real though.
On shore, Usidore openly boasts to the villains how he was able to deceive them. Although Dripfang mutually respects him and they had time on Masters of Mayhem Season 2, he calls out Usidore's demise and yells on his minions to work harder. Momo responds as Dripfang was just yelling at everyone, as he has no interpersonal relationship with his crew. Cafarnie says that this is the reason that they will lose, which responses Dripfang as he is a carfoon and fucked over by him in the Season 2 Finale. Blemish has sucked out the blood of Dripfang's heliomonser while Chunt is still waiting on the boat. Krom questions if the boat was real, which prompts the enemies to question their reality, punching each other to make sure its not a dream.
As this is Momo's first time meeting many of these villains, she goes around being introduced to while the rest get attacked by various bats. Usidore shows off his sword, Usidore's Hand and Dripfang recognises it as his sword. The Soul Walker mocks them as they are too late, as Arnie is with the Dark lord now, splayed out on an ebony altar,wearing a flirty chainmail singlet as he is tied up with a silver chain and a black saber tooth tiger is looking over him. Dripfang wants his sword back as he created it and stabbed Arnie with it.
Usidore calls on Krom to attack the goblins, who are also digging the trenches, as "they hate bears". Krom rushes over and gets them to open up emotionally. His empathetic skills unite the goblins to stop working and chant "it's not your fault". Chunt is confused with the presence of goblins as he assumed that all the goblins were on Earth. However these are military contract goblins, all named Randy. When one of them reveals their name was Roblyn, the goblins turn on them.
As Carfanie distracts Dripfang and the Soul Walker with his sheer existence, Usidore tells Belmish to find a way up to Arnie. He then hurls fireballs and dick balls at them and Krom tries to get to the bottom of his compensation. Dripfang demands that his crew stay focused on digging the trenches, which confuses Cafarnie. Dripfang explains since obsidian is made with lava quickly cooled, he is using the trenches to redirect the lava back into the volcano. During the exposition, Chunt asks Momo to throw him at the enemies, but Momo proceeds to toss him like a pizza and then to the opposite direction.
Blemish returns with information about Arnie's status in a very erotic, ASMR away, which makes everyone whisper. Dripfang uses this opportunity to surround the group with his zombies, to which Usidore compliments him on. Chunt asks to have toppings, but the whole vibe is ruining Momo's vacation. As a battle pizza, he wants Momo to have more battle time. Then Pizza Skull is summoned and eats all the zombies. Blemish also tells Usidore how to get to Arnie, which makes Usidore declare him as his new best friend. The Soul Walker overhears this and guards the way. Usidore tries to defeat the Soul Walker the same way as they did last time, by having the inner souls argue amongst themselves, but even the Soul Walker cannot remember all the souls that make him up. Crispix Versin Generix does pop up, but is more Soul Walker than not at this point.
The battle rages on with Chunt asking Krom to deal with Dripfang as he is made of snakes and Krom has managed Foon's largest snake pile. Taking on so many snakes will take some finesse, so he asks Momo to go on top of his head, hide under a sailor hat and control his body with his hair. However, Momo's outlandish vacation outfit is taken notice and the battle pauses to point out every single piece of clothing that Momo is wearing. Since her vacation gear proves how much of a party animal she is, she calls for shots for everyone on both sides, which Usidore summons. These shots ended up being enchanted as Dripfang and the Soul Walker cannot help but to partake in the party as Usidore, Chunt, and Blemish slip away.
In the cave that leads the group to the top, Usidore compliments Blemish on the find, as it seems secret to everyone, including the Dark Lord. He casts spell of foresight to see (and hear) ahead, where they find Arnie:
Bounded to the ebony altar,2 Arnie complains how much he hates the heat and the stupid volcano. Although the silver chains are tight, he tries to fiddle with it more to loosen his hand. Unfortunately, the Dark Lord comes out from the shadows. Arnie asks about the obsidian and a wizard's true death and the Dark Lord explains the rules he is bounded to:
There are many ways a wizard can be killed, but they always come back, no matter how much time it takes. When wizards are called to Foon, they are tethered and cannot be released from their bond except by two methods. The first is obsidian, the method that Arnie is familiar with. Previously, the creation of obsidian was a mystery until an email from Earth showed everyone the way. The Dark Lord is at Foon's only volcano to prevent any more obsidian being made, something all wizards should be thankful for. The other method is closure. When accomplishing their true purpose, a wizard will be yanked back to the Realms of Ephysiyies, out of Foon forever. Even Usidore knows this and The Dark Lord believes that Usidore will not fully complete his quest for this reason.
Arnie believes Usidore will save him, but it does not matter to the Dark Lord as he has all the artifacts. He had the first one for a while, the second he had his devotees retrieve from Fingaria (after Krom put it in the pile of snakes), and the third one is in Arnie's head. He will combine all of them to allow him to transport his mind into another vessel, free to reconstitute himself. Arnie knows that, for some reason, the Dark Lord cannot outright kill him to get the artifact, So he knows he's safe. So the Dark Lord changes the subject.
The Dark Lord asks Arnie to repeat the information about the third artifact, the one in his head. Arnie explains that it is technology that allows him to connect with his life on Earth (via Robot Arnie, which he is aware of), although he is unclear about if the artifact lets him see his life there or if he is there because of it. The Dark Lord tells him that he can see what Arnie sees through his scrying pool. However, since everything is processed through Arnie's dreams, his memories of Earth are fragmented and the Dark Lord can only see what he remembers. However, the Dark Lord lets Arnie know that Arnie knows more than what he's leading on. The Dark Lord elucidates that he doesn't talk about his family anymore, but Arnie is just trying to be thoughtful. Arnie then admits that he knows that he and Sarah are separated. The Dark uses this to try to manipulate Arnie to believe that he is no longer needed on Earth, but Arnie still has his daughter and refuses to let her be a part of the story. He stresses how tough it is to be a part time single parent, but remains grateful to be a part of her life and will do everything in his power to keep his connection. He refuses to let go of his ties to Earth, but does not know how to let go of Foon either. The Dark Lord extends his assistants and suggests they work together.
Usidore busts through the walls to stop it all. Arnie sees the three together to rescue him. Chunt turns into a little volcano for battle, but the hot blood forces him to turn into Carl, the human man. Usidore then recites his classic intro, but is told by the Dark Lord that he is too late and above it all. He summons Dripfang, who is still a little drunk from the party. Usidore summons more shots, but Dripfang resists. Dripfang then touches Arnie's head and creates a facsimile of it, decapitated. The Dark Lord digs into the head's eyes to retrieve the copy's artifact and assembles all the artifacts, which looks like an LED display. Usidore calls out for Usidore's Hand and is able to stab the Dark Lord, but he taunts him that it is too late. However, something is wrong. The death feels off and the device deactivates. He is then called by the heavens. As a last ditch attempt, he calls out for Usidore as he is turned into a ball of light and flies up to Ephysiyies. As Arnie looks in awe, Dripfang quickly sobers up and tries to grasp at what remains of the Dark Lord. The rest of the group revels in the Dark Lord's defeat as the street gang, The Fast Horses. Defeated by his master's demise and the fact that he brought all the necessary tools to the side of good, Dripfang is withdrawn and no longer wants to fight. Chunt tries to land a last witty banter, but it does not land and it is profoundly insulting.
Chunt and Usidore unchain Arnie and Usidore thanks to the efforts of Blemish, who lead them there. However, Blemish gives a devilish laugh as he is no longer Carfoon Blemish, but the Dark Lord's new vessel. Now released and undefeatable, he tries to kill himself to transport himself to a stronger body. Realizing that the Dark Lord is more manageable in this start, the gang quickly tries to catch him (briefly Chunt wants to kill him since it would be so easy to defeat him again). Chunt turns into a Kangaroo to stuff Blemish in his pouch while Usidore conjures a real sack. He makes Chunt and Arnie promise that no matter what, they must not reveal that the Dark Lord was not completely vanquished and that Carfoon Blemish is the Dark Lord now.
Arnie is told about the team that rescued him, however, Carfoon Arnie is nowhere to be found. Chunt then turns into a sled and sleds down the volcano, just like Krom's dream with his dream best friends. Momo invites the Soul Walker to join them next year to do the same, but with the Dark Lord's defeat, he is also reclusive. Momo asks if Arnie is okay after all this, but he responds no and will process it later, disappointing Momo since he is not open about his feelings. Chunt asks to make one last stop in front of Dripfang to taunt him one last time. At the base of the volcano, Krom explains they should finish his dream by having a slumber party on the boat and talking all night. As Usidore and Chunt try to give a moving ending note, Arnie shouts at them that he is getting on the boat, Momo calls for shots and Krom is still unsure if the boat is real.
Space Bunker Plot
The Mysterious Man is still monitoring The Institute's status as he waits for Craig to respond to his transmission. Suddenly, Craig transmits his consciousness to the coffee machine. The Mysterious Man attempts small talk, but Craig cuts the bullshit knowing that the Mysterious Man doesn't care. He asks Craig to hack the system to see what he can find while he starts the transmission for the Season Finale.
After the episode, Craig finishes hacking into the Institute and finds information about projects, archives, payroll, and, most importantly, holding cells. The Mysterious Man finds this unusual and asks what they could be holding. According to the data, the goblin army has been captured and held there, while Tricia voluntarily locks herself there for a character study. It is revealed that the Institute is planning a full scale invasion of Foon, using the rescue of Arnie as a cover. The Mysterious Man commands Craig to say with him on Earth as they plot a way to stop the invasion.
Post Credit Scene
On the S.S. Stephanie, Usidore is relieved that Arnie is safe with them. Chunt updates him on his knowledge of Eggy Baby, but he is told to save it for next season. The gang reviews the events that took place and Chunt kicks the Blemish sack. Arnie tells the guys he loves them, but is ready to retire below with a slumber cup to dream about "taking someone shopping for new school shoes". As he walks away, Chunt whispers to Usidore and asks him if Arnie will tell them about his family, but Usidore says he will tell them when he is ready, to which they are ready to support him like they have also have. As they walk away, talking about Eggy Baby, fireworks shoot in the background.
Emails
There are no new emails this week.
New characters
- Randy, the Goblins
- Roblyn, the 4 men in the goblin suit
Recurring Characters
- Pizza Skull
- Crispix Versin Generix
- Arnor the Warrior (Mentioned)
- Lady Mirabelle (Mentioned)
- Inta and Nerf (mentioned)
Earth References
- Karens
- Intelligentsia Coffee
- Mountain Dew: Code Read
- Flip or Flop
- Garry Shandling
- No Flipping
- "Hey Now"
- Swift Boat Veterans for Truth (SBVT)/Swift Vets and POWs for Truth
- "Loose Lips Sink Ships"
- The Ice Storm
- Aquabats, Skanking
- Baseball
- Van Graffiti Art
- Forever 21
- "It's Not Your Fault" / Good Will Hunting
- Hulk, "It's Smashing Time"
- King Kong
- "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis
- Lazy Susan
- Papa John's
- ASMR
- Zombies
- Runners vs. Classic
- 28 Days and 28 Days Later
- Dawn of the Dead
- Marvel's Endgame fight scene
- Tarantella napoletana
- Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, Forest Whitaker
- Ghost in Shell
- Ratatouille
- It's Five O'Clock Somewhere" by Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett
- “Shots” by Lil Jon
- Hilton Diamonds Reward Club
- "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett
- CV/Resumes
- LED Display
- Harry Potter, "I Solemnly Swear that I'm Up to No Good"
- Shakespeare
- Peanuts comic strip, Charlie Brown, Woodstock
- Ikea Holiday Catalog
- Teddy Ruxpin
- Paul Lind
- Shawshank Redemption
- Mounds
Notes
- Craig goes over his subplot within the Stitcher Premium Spin-off shows.
- This is the first finalie that Baron Ragoon was not apart of, but his voice actor, Chris Rathjen, does the editing.
- There are numerous callbacks to previous episodes, beyond Season 3, Ep 100 - Rescue Party;
- "Game Recognizes Game"
- Usidore/Dripfang's hate/respect relationship
- Arnor's two obsidian balls
- The Goblin Army
- The Soul Walker's collection of Souls
- Momo's brother, Mike
- Kay's email
- Arnie's family
- The Fast Horses
- "Be Cool" and Killing Blemish
- Tricia's Performance Career
- Slumber Cups
- Dripfang had to pay 10 Ghoul Bucks to the Soul Walker for losing the bet, he was able to keep his heliomonster
- By the way that the Soul Walker mentions the souvenir t-shirt, the listeners could assume that the name of where they are battling is Black Spire Volcano.
- Momo has a complex vacation outfit:
- A shirt that says "I went to Black Spire Volcano and All I Got Was This Stupid T-shirt". on the back it says "Grandma's Favorite". The Collar says "It's Wine O'Clock Somewhere"
- A Sun hat that says "It's Five O'Clock Someplace
- A button that says "One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor"
- A fanny pack that says "Wine Me, Dine Me, 69 Me"
- Flip Flops say "Ass, Gas or Grass; No One Rides for Free"
- A Tramp Stamp that says " I'm Not as Think as You Drunk I Am"
- A Shot glass necklace
- Later, she is seen with two other items of clothing:
- A Shirt that says "My Drinking Team has a Surfing Problem"
- "The Road May Go On Forever but the Party Never Ends"
- It is never described what the first artifact was.
- Arnie states that the Dark Lord's Plan is not very intuitive. This might explain why it is explained bluntly within the last two episodes.
- This is the final episode before the podcast went independent on Patreon; it will still also be available on Earwolf and Stitcher Premium.
Behind the Scenes
- Arnie Niekamp explains, in further detail, his scene with the Dark Lord in an AMA on March 8th, 2021 for the 6th Anniversary on r/Earwolf on Reddit.