Season 3, Ep 20 – Staff Dinner

Staff Dinner
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date December 8, 2019
Episode no. S03E20
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Winifred Weatherwere, Elroy Topplestar, and Mallory McKnoboff
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Chris Rathjen
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
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"Professor’s Wardrobe" "The Lurking Phantom"
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"Staff Dinner" is the twentieth episode of season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on December 8, 2019.


A staff dinner party at Jizzleknob leads to intrigue and romance and lycanthropy.


Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore are in the Professor’s Wardrobe at Jizzlenob Preparatory Academy, and discuss their experiences teaching classes, their continued search for pages of the Book of Sight, and the so called “Lurking Phantom” that has been slashing paintings on campus. They talked about the secrets order of the Silent Eye, but Arnie lost his coin, though now it can be purchased on Earth. Arnie was tasked with inviting all 40+ members of the faculty to a dinner party, but due to social anxiety was only able able to invite three.

They arrive in short order: Miss Winifred Weatherwere; an assistant librarian and lycanthropic skin-shifter, Prof. Elroy Topplestar, a self-help author who has recruited his students to sell his books in a triangle scheme; and Mallory McKnoboff, Singcantations Instructor. Personal drama soon emerges. Winnie is attracted to Elroy, Elroy is obsessed with self-promotion, and Mallory continually brings up sensitive topics and draws further attention to them by apologizing.

Winifred shares with Chunt the embarrassment of losing self-control when she transforms into a wolf. Elroy discusses the success of his book, Thinking Happy Thoughts to Slay the Demons that Surround Your Mind, and the need to stay positive in the face of critics. Mallory insists the party play a game of Truth or Incantation (with a Spin-the-Gnome add-on).

In the course of the game, Elroy confronts Mallory about her disdain for him, and confesses to Winnie her feelings for him are reciprocated. Arnie admits he has told his students he’s an airline pilot in a moment of panic. Usidore tries to bring Winnie and Elroy together by magically arranging for them to adopt a dead gnome. Winnie says she cannot be with Elroy, for she knows Mallory is in love with Elroy. Mallory does not deny it, but explains to Elroy she considers him a fraud professionally. Upon learning that is the consensus, Elroy resigns in disgrace. And Mallory reveals she is in love with Winnie. Elroy copes by practicing his own self-help strategies, aided by an advance from Usidore on his next book.


  • Callie N. shares the time it takes to catch up on the podcast. Arnie and Usidore realize the information is not particularly useful to anyone listening to this episode.
  • Saloni M. is leaving home for college and asks Arnie for advice in facing a new world. Everyone gives advice.
  • Andreas asks if Usidore remembers he is still King of the Wizards. He does, but has resigned the self-created role by episode's end.

New characters

  • Meat, a student with a talent for transforming fruit into meat.
  • (Figure)Head Librarian

Earth references

  • Fantasia - "The Sorcerer's Apprentice"
  • Donald in Mathmagic Land
  • Kilroy was here
  • The Jetsons
  • Pyramid Schemes
  • Boyz II Men
  • "This Magic Moment"
  • Dirty Dancing) - "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life"
  • "That’s Amore"
  • "Dancing Queen" - ABBA
  • search engines Bing, Mozilla, DuckDuckGo, Netscape


Usidore flashes his Silent Eye coin to Winnie, Elroy, and Mallory and receives no reaction, suggesting none are members of the order.

Behind the scenes

Staff Dinner
Image Unavailable
Chunt, Prof. Elroy Topplestar, Usidore, Mallory McKnoboff, Miss Weatherwere, Arnie
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