Season 3, Ep 32 – Five Years

Five Years
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date March 8, 2020
Episode no. S03E32
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Blemish, Otok Barleyfoot
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Anna Havermann
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Five Years" is the thirty-second episode of season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on March 8, 2020.


It’s the five year anniversary and Arnie has found audio of the first time he met Chunt and Usidore.


Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore are at sea again, traveling up north to Fingaria, where the Mystic Temple containing the second artifact is said to reside.

Arnie reminisces the fact that it has been about five years since he has entered Foon and started the podcast, while the other two are more interested in the Nautical Bear Jellyboree, an occurrence that only happens every 4 years. Nonetheless, Usidore brings out raddish cake for the group to enjoy for the anniversary and Arnie brings out audio clips he found while he was cleaning out his laptop. The clips are audio from his first few days before and in Foon, before the podcast began. Arnie plays the clips and the group as a whole give commentary in between.

In 2015, at a Burger King in Chicago, Arnie tests a pilot episode where he goes to fast food places, go through the drive-thru, then eat the food in his car. As he records, he struggles with the intro of the podcast and the concept as a whole. Suddenly, he sees something, the portal into Foon, and he and his car gets transported. Within seconds, Arnie encounters a talking badger, named Chunt, that accuses him of running over the squirrel that he was chasing. After some clumsy introduction and small flattery, Chunt offers Arnie a place to stay as Arnie gets accustom to the talking animal and the fact that he is no longer being in a parking lot at a Burger King.

The next day, the pair walk to King's Road where a loud Usidore yells at passersby to join him on his quest. Chunt introduces Arnie to his wizard friend while Arnie holds his microphone and podcast setup for comfort. Arnie learns for the first time many things about Usidore, like how he is a "grandmaster" and the fact that he likes cough drops that makes is voice more gravely. Arnie gets the idea to abandon his food podcast and start a new one about the new land that he is in, hoping that the situation is temporary and he can bring the information back to his world.

Arnie suggest that they set a more permeant spot for recording and they settle on The Vermilion Minotaur due to its proximity. There, Arnie meets Screaming Pete, Otok Barleyfoot, the owner and proprietor, and Blemish, who works under Otok. They set up at that very table and start a test episode for the show. However, the conversation is disjointed between talking about Earth Stuff, plugs for advertisements and quest announcements, podcast names, cumulating to Arnie getting kicked out of his own podcast.

As they wrap up the podcast episode, Arnie says he misses being in Hogsface, at the Vermillion Minotaur, at their table. Usidore says that table was made from a log that came from another dimension, which might explain that Arnie's splinter from the table may be the source of their continuing wi-fi. Either way, they continue to reminisces as they sail on.


There are no new emails this week.

New characters

  • Screaming Mike

Returning characters

  • Otok Barleyfoot
  • Blemish

Earth References

  • Can't Help Falling in Love, Elvis Presley
  • Cha Cha Slide Part 2, DJ Caspar
  • Hanukkah
  • Kwanza
  • Clip shows
  • Prequels
  • Doughboys
  • "Damn Daniel"
  • Ulysses
  • Friends, Joey and Chandler
  • Fringe (TV)
  • World Series, Baseball, Darryl Strawberry, Babe Ruth, Larry Bird
  • Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
  • Chronicles of Riddick


  • Their current boat "The Squeem Dream" came from the dead theif/pirate, Squeem, from the previous episode. They have the same bears as the SS Stephanie.
  • Many of the story bits of this episode tries to self-correcting/self-referential:
    • The reason for Arnie to be in the Burger King parking lot was to do a new podcast.
      • The First review was for the Extra Long BBQ Cheeseburger
    • Arnie was in his car while everything got sucked into the portal.
    • Chunt refers to himself being 300 years old, only for it to be bleeped out when the audio is in the present.
    • Despite the combative nature how Arnie's looks, both Chunt and Usidore agree that he is beautiful.
    • Arnie acknowledges the tapestry at Chunt's House, but does not know its significance.
    • Chunt dreamt that Chris of Chris-must was the Dark Lord.
    • Chunt claims to call Hogsface as "Hogface" because he was nervous talking to Arnie.
    • Arnie recites the shows preamble as a way to cope with his situation and relax.
    • Arnie claims that there is too many details to keep track of.
    • Usidore's initial voice came from cough drops.
    • Usidore refers to himself as a "grandmaster".
    • Otok gives the group his best table.
    • Spiced Potatoes are first mentioned.
    • Otok wants to do advertisement.
    • Usidore only wanted to do the podcast so he can recruit for his quest.
    • Blemish plugs for people to adopt his cats.
    • The test podcast became the precursor of Gettin' Nuts, predating Hello from the Magic Tavern.
  • Chunt asks if Arnie is recording, despite only knowing what a microphone is.
  • Chunt jokes that it's like the Doughboys, which came out almost two weeks after the premiere Hello from the Magic Tavern.
  • The initial place for the podcast would have been The Séance Stump
  • In-canon initial names for the podcast:
    • Table Boys
    • Blemish & His Buds
    • Audio Freaks
    • Hi, I'm Talking in Foon
    • Heaven and Hogface
    • Chronicles of Ridonkulous
    • Hello from the Magic Table
  • Arnie mentions that probably only his friends from the Chicago Improv group will listen, including Matt DeMarco and Jeff Erikson. Matt DeMarco actually wrote some of the earliest emails to the show back around S1Ep4.
  • On whether Foon is a country or continent, the answer is yes.
  • Arnie mentions that the first recording was five years and two days ago. That places Arnie being trapped on March 6th, 2015.

Behind the scenes

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