Season 3, Ep 55 - Nervous Guard (w/ Bryan Safi)

Season 3, Ep 55 - Nervous Guard (w/ Bryan Safi)
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date August 24, 2020
Episode no. S03E55
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Wictor
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Garrett Schultz
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Mouse Queen" "The DQ Way"
List of episodes

"Nervous Guard" is the fifty-fifth episode of season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on August 24, 2020.


Wictor is the head dungeon guard at Castle Skullmaster…and he's not happy about it!


Arnie is having fun exploring Castle Skullmaster, but doesn't like the dark and evil aesthetics. Chunt went back to the beach to hang out with some beach friends, but returned to the castle and caused some audio echo. Usidore is jealous that Arnie and Chunt are now in the same place within the Shattering/Fragmenting/Breaksies. However, while Arnie was exploring the castle, he found an info board stating that there is a haunted hot spring within the castle. When Usidore exited the bath, he finds that his haunted hot spring was the haunted hot springs in the castle. With the group reunited, Usidore is pumped to resume their quest, but Arnie reminds them he still has to house sit.

The Castle seems to be within its own pocket of the Shattering, so all beings within it are part of the same pocket, which is lucky for the gang as they look for people to interview. Arnie suggest they interview one of the guards in the dungeon, so they meet up with Wictor. Wictor makes it no secret that he hates his job and everyone knows it. He grew up in the dungeon, wetting his pants a good amount in his youth, earning him the nickname Wetsy. He has performed for Skullmaster by being an entertainer and dancing for him. He worked as a guard for most of his life and now as an adult, he is responsible of all the different stations in the dungeon. Wictor enjoys the gossip around the castle and the torture he can enact, although he does claim that he is bad at it.

Usidore asks Wictor if he had considered other career paths. Wictor's dream was to be a caterer, however there aren't much opportunity anymore since they no longer have parties in the castle. To hellp his dream, Usidore suggest that they have a grand party that Wictor can cater, but he is offended, since it was his idea, so he should be able to host it too.

Wictor describes all the different levels of crimes that would put a prisoner in the dungeon. Levels vary from directly being against Skullmaster, to drug use, to rubbing him the wrong way. There is a level of "Dirty Dog Crime" where those insulting Wictor goes. Usidore briefly ends up on this level, but makes it up to Wictor by naming his five favorite foods. These foods helps encourages him not to kill, as he rather kills with Kindness, the name of his blade. Chunt notices he's holding the blade incorrectly, so Chunt shows him so he doesn't cut himself anymore. Wictor, only knows this way since this is how the blade was presented to him, which Usidore retorts that he might have been knighted instead.

Arnie also asks him about his social life, which Wictor struggles with the words to describe his paramour. He also has and ongoing rivalry with Cynthia the Rat, another guard and an actual rat. Everyone encourages him to to get retaliation on her, either some psychological warfare or write a better book than her.

As the episode wraps up, all three of them realize that, during the conversation with Wictor, he had locked them all up. Wictor leaves the three, now finally together, but unable to escape the dungeon.


There are no new emails this week.

New characters

  • Cynthia the Rat
  • Louve Davinchi
  • Cindy Sherman

Returning characters


Earth References

  • Three Little Pigs
  • Howl's Moving Castle
  • Stitcher
  • Vocal Bleed over
  • Tim Allen, Home Improvement
  • Twitter
  • Besty DeVos
  • Italians
  • Sigmund Freud: Ego, Super Ego, Id
  • Basketball
  • Nip/Tuck
  • Fraiser, Nyles, Daphne
  • Weekend at Bernie's
  • Perks of Being a Wallflower, its soundtrack
  • France and the French
    • The Louve
    • Notre Dame
    • Amelie
  • Frenches Mustasrd
  • Nutcracker
  • Footloose
  • Charactures
  • Paul Lynde
    • Hollywood Squares
    • Charolette's Web, Templeton
  • Beauty and the Beast
    • Lumière
    • "Be Our Guest"
    • A rose behind Glass
    • “On the Good Ship Lollipop” sung by,Shirley Temple
    • "Believe" by Cher
    • Bye Bye Birdie


  • New Drugs in canon; Cloudclear, Showoffs
  • Wictor is a Candle
  • In the intro Tricia states she is the Mysterious Man's "only living clone assistant". In fact Tricia's immediate predecessor (Tricia 8049) and successor (Tricia 8051) were both alive when last we saw them.

Behind the scenes

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