Season 3, Ep 58 - Bastard (w/ Greg Hess)

Season 3, Ep 58 - Bastard (w/ Greg Hess)
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date September 14, 2020
Episode no. S03E58
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Skullson Bastard
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Stephen Dranger
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Together" "Sleeping Prince"
List of episodes

"Bastard" is the fifty-eighth episode of season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on September 14, 2020.


We meet an angry boy that just might be Skullmaster's secret son.


Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore have been sidetracked for so long, from being trapped in pocket dimensions to being trapped in Castle Skullmaster, they remind themselves of the tasks that bought them here in the first place; to defeat the Dark Lord, To defeat Skullmaster, and to find the artifacts before the Dark Lord does, which might be in the "Terrible Castle". Also, Usidore reminds them of their long time enemy, Krellbar, that they must defeat.

They run into a man hiding in a bush who claims he is the one to kill Skullmaster. His name is Skullson Bastard, the adopted son of Roy and Linda Bastard. They own Bastard Bread Company in the island of Migas. As a child, he has been bullied because of many of his skull elements. Eventually, Skullson discovers that he is adopted and wants to get revenge on Skullmaster for the last three years, hoping to choke him out with his skeleton hand.

To give Skullson some closure, Usidore offers to be choked out by him, posing as Skullmaster since he himself is not in the castle. The skit provides relief for Skullson, resolving him to go back to the bakery and open again as it has been closed since Skullson has left for his revenge mission and his parents are dead. The crew discuss if Skullson was really adopted and if he ended up killing his real parents while they were having kinky skull sex in the oven. Their ongoing conversations leads Skullson to believe that Krellbar is really his father and vows to kill him instead. He departs to do so, and quickly returns claiming success.


There are no new emails this week.

New characters

  • Roy & Linda Bastard

Returning characters

  • Krellbar, Duke of KrellbarLand

Earth References

  • "Unforgettable", Nat 'King' Cole
  • The Birds and the Bees
  • Spelling Bees
  • Ellis Island
  • The Three Amigos
  • "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus"
  • Sully Masterson
  • Capt. Chesley Burnett "Sully" Sullenberger III
  • aurora borealis
  • Mickey Mouse
  • Karate Kid
  • Robo Cop
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


  • Skullson's claim of killing Krellbar appears to be wrong (perhaps another case of mistaken identity), since Usidore kills Krellbar himself almost a year later.1

Behind the scenes

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