Season 3, Ep 7 – Sea Witch (w/ Sarah Haskins)

Sea Witch (w/ Sarah Haskins)
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date September 2, 2019
Episode no. S03E07
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Calarion the Sea Witch
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Stephen Dranger
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Additional music Arne Parrott
Earth Games spinoff
Episode chronology
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"Sea Witch" is the seventh episode of season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on September 2, 2019.


A sea witch appears on deck.


Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore are again on the sea, traveling onboard the SS Stephanie toward Dramenshire and the Velsmeeri army, when a pile of sea-moss reveals itself to be Calarion (Jr), a sea witch searching for a husband so that she might reproduce. As per sea witch custom, once Calarion chooses her mate she will crash the ship into the rocks of her nearby island, and the rest of the passengers and crew will be drowned.

Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore compete to be selected by Calarion, but her lack of enthusiasm for killing them leads them to question her further. As she discusses her life and the ways of sea witches, the trio convince her to buck tradition and spare the ship. She may yet find love without a murder/kidnapping, or she may instead devote herself to her other passion: promoting the biodiversity of coral reefs. She returns to her island with a parting gift from the ship: a chair, which is unfortunately destroyed in transport.

Post Credit Scene

Calarion sings out to the shore, but Doug comes by and tries to open the store with his key. Calarion Shoos him away to wait for her package.


  • Issacs and Sarah asks if Arnie has considered talking about Earth Military Technology to scare the Dark Lord since he would know nothing about tanks and would be unlikely to defend against it. Could an Abrams fit though the dimensional portal? Usidore asks what JJ Abrams have to do with it. Arnie doubts that he could build a tank and hopes that one doesn't fit through the dimensional portal behind the Burger King. Back on Earth, the people at the Earth Bunker takes note of the tank question.

New Characters

  • Calarion the First, Calarion's mother
  • Doug, Calarion's bewitched step-father
  • Snerf, a fairy who hates adds
  • Spangle, Calarion's grandmother

Recurring Characters

  • The bears Lacey, Frederick, Jeffrey (Jeffy), Corduroy (the bartender bear), Treadwell, and Bug (who pops up at occasion)

Earth References

  • "Love your curves"
  • Rorschach (Watchmen)
  • maritime law
  • Yogi Bear
  • "They Call the Wind Maria" - Paint Your Wagon
  • Odysseus
  • "tea"
  • Whac-A-Mole
  • Marry, Fuck, Kill
  • shrimping
  • "Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me)"
  • aha moment
  • saltines
  • Green Lantern
  • Cracker Barrell
  • Temptation Island
  • "i before e"
  • She's all That
  • Korok Seeds
  • J.J. Abrams, Lost
  • Sherman tank
  • Wrigleyville in Chicago
  • clarion call
  • Social Network
  • Ice Bucket Challenge


  • Chunt realizes that the show is Audio only.
  • The Seagulls may know Usidore as Corey Oarman, but it is unclear if it's true or if he just looks like a Corey Oarman.
  • The Mysterious Man plays a cover song by a fan at the end of the credits.

Behind the Scenes

Sea Witch
Image Unavailable
Chunt, Usidore, Arnie, Calarion
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