Season 3, Ep 72 - Dead Turtle

Season 3, Ep 72 - Dead Turtle
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date January 4, 2021
Episode no. S03E72
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Hildy Shiblin
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Tim Joyce
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Winter Solstice Bonus 2020" "The Potential of the Night"
List of episodes

"Dead Turtle" is the seventy-second episode of season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on January 4, 2021.


Back at sea, our hosts are reunited with Hildy the thousands of years old turtle… maybe.


Back on the S.S. Stephanie, Chunt and Usidore wish Arnie a happy, copyright free, Earth Birth, where they try to replicate some Earth Birthday traditions they learned during their time on Earth. When Chunt celebrates Arnie being 89 (he’s 45), both he and Usidore wished they could have two young Arnies team up. Arnie would rather hypothesize why the Mysterious Man implanted something in his head, which prompts the other two to want to get in his head to check, to which Arnie adamantly refuses.

Since it has been some time since they have been on board, the group looks around to catch up with the other bear crewmates and Hildy, the ancient sea turtle, who appears to be dead. Luckily, she comes back to them in spirit, literally, and explain her situation. Between now and the last time they saw her, Hildy did not renew her physical form license and has been (un)living it up as a ghost. The moments before passing, she was swept away by a handsome prince to join him as a ghost. Her new corporeal form has been liberating for her and has been engaging with her many friends (i.e. casual sex), specifically with Henry the Blobfish. Hildy’s ghost form also allowed her to gain new powers, such has being able to change forms whoever she wants, ghost shitting, and going through walls.

Arnie wonders if Hildy, could go “Patrick Swayze” on others, which she has never tried. With the encouragement of Chunt and the hunt for Arnie’s inner child, Hildy successfully possesses Arnie, but does not offer much besides polite observation and recommendations for doctors when she leaves Arnie’s body. When Arnie attempts to throw her lifeless body, Hildy stops in and holds it, feeling attachment to it. She decides to reapply for a physical form and dump Henry. Usidore is more than happy to use his magic to send them to the proper offices.

Meanwhile, Chunt offers his body to be possessed, which Hildy does. When she comes out, she says Chunt also should get a doctor to check him out for his two buttholes. Hildy asks if Usidore wants a go, however, Usidore acts on his own before getting possessed. Arnie wonders if a “reverse Patrick Swayze” exists, so Hildy allows him to try. All in all, Usidore completes the process and Hildy comes back to life.

With a new lease on life, Hildy has some apologizing to do since she haunted her enemies right after dying. Before she goes, Chunt asks for a last dance they have a good time.


Arnie cites these emails from back in September 2020.

  • Dokukan from Turkey (not the turkey) asks why Spintax is a Wizard of 3rd, 9th and 12th realms of Ephyseus when Usidore is only a Wizard of the 12th realm. Usidore describes the 12th realm as a realm of power where multitudes of dimensions of light and shadow resides. This realm also fits in with what Spintax draws his power from; lies and truth. In the end, Spintax is probably a liar.
  • Ryan asks what if the last ar-ti-fact is really an Ar-nie-fact. They say he’s not entirely wrong, as they think the artifact is the chip implanted in Arnie’s head by the Mysterious Man. Arnie also recalls that the Mysterious Man uses that transmitter to project his consciousness and, for a while now, he has been dreaming of Earth. As they wonder why the Dark Lord would need it, Hildy mentions the miss opportunity of looking at the chip while she was still a ghost.

New characters

  • Brittney Murphy
  • Prince Cornelius
  • Henry the Blobfish
  • Dr. Spockinopoli

Recurring Characters

  • The bears of the S.S. Stephanie
    • Fredrick
    • Jeffery/Jeffy
    • Bug
  • Sweet Prince Vantis (mentioned)

Earth References

  • Westworld
  • Le Yikes
  • The Happy Birthday Song
  • Doritos
  • Home Improvement
  • The Show Interludes
  • Oreos
  • Batman
  • Online forms/license renewals/passwords
  • Phones
  • Dior
  • Brittney Murphy
  • Ziggy Top
  • Work it by Missy Elliot
  • Guitar Lightnin’ by Lightnin’ Hopkins
  • Fox Force Five, Pulp Fiction
  • Helicopters
  • Scooby Doo
  • Boeing
  • Santa Claus
  • Ghosts
  • Patrick Swayze
  • Spock
  • The Rock
  • Marie Kondo
  • Sparks Joy
  • The Nanny, Mr. Sheffield
  • The Ring
  • Happy Death Day
  • Precious
  • Master of Disguise


Behind the Scenes

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