Season 3, Ep 76 - Cursed Beast
Season 3, Ep 76 - Cursed Beast
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
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Air date February 1, 2021
Episode no. S03E76
Episode Link
Cast
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Prince Bartholomew Mylph
Production
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Earwolf producer Kimmie Lucas
Editor Stephen Dranger
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Sponsor
Episode chronology
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"Blacksmith" "Death Knight"
List of episodes

"Cursed Beast" is the seventy-sixth episode of season three of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on February 1, 2021.

Description

Prince Bartholomew Mylph visits to share the tale of his terrible curse.

Summary

To shed off his vulgar humor, Chunt decides to go by the name Shunt and become more regal, to varying degrees of success. The change is sparked during one of Chunt’s one Earth question a night to Arnie where he found out about Family Matters and Steve Urkel’s Transformation to the cool Stefan Urquelle. Meanwhile, Usidore is determined to protect Arnie by absorbing him and protecting him with plasma.

Arnie has invited Prince Bartholomew Mylph from that land of Shwarm, a disheveled beast who was cursed by an enchantress to look that way. He prefers to be casual with the group, going by Bart Mylph, which variations of his name is said throughout the episode. Bart describes his curse and how it has slowly turned him from an 8 to a 6.5 over the course of 10-15 years. The curse has caused him to dress unfashionably, numerous health problems, his family and friends being tuned into inanimate objects, loss of power, and addiction to pornography. Bart describes how he gained the curse in the first place: he went to a sex party, before he could enjoy the festivities, he essentially destroyed a bathroom with his shit. He blamed Elisa the Enchantress and she told him to grow up. Despite no indication of a spell, he maintains that his ill fortune is caused by a curse, and not by time. Bart Mylph says that the only way for him to break his curse is to fine his one true love before all his hair falls out.

Usidore proclaims that he will help Bart Mylph end his curse by the end of the episode. The group starts with an old fashioned game of Dragon’s Talon, where, in this variant, everyone complements Bart Mylph to encourage him. Chunt then tries to give Bart Mylph a makeover, only to find he is caked in foundation and is much uglier without it. Afterwards, the group believes that the curse could be broken if Bart Mylph could get laid. Chunt becomes “Mademoiselle Fancy de la Coo”, much to real life Arnie’s chagrin, to help out, to which Bart Mylph self-sabotages. He performs slightly better with “Susan Doku”, but ultimately fails when she says she is seeing someone else.

The group hypothesizes that Bart Mylph just has to love himself. Arnie asks if Bart Mylph is open to fucking himself, which he response positively. Usidore creates a duplicate and Bart Mylph was able to do it. When the two are merged back together the curse is lifted and many of his ailments are reversed, including his wife, who was previously a “dear John” note but was turned back while she was in the fire. Chunt asks the prince to pick up the check and the group runs away.

In the post credit scene, the wife tries to reconcile with Bart Mylph, but now that he’s handsome again, he tries to leave her. The wife tells him to grow up and the curse is recast.

Emails

There are no new emails this week.

New characters

  • Com-ed, Bart’s wife
  • Susan Doku

Recurring Characters

Earth References

  • Pod Save America
  • Ellen
  • Harvey Wallbanger
  • Skin Suit
  • Bing Crosby/ Bill Cosby
  • Bing Search Engine
  • Family Matters/Perfect Strangers, Steve Urkel/Stefan Urquelle
  • Die Hard, Reginald VelJohnson
  • Beauty and the Beast, “Be Our Guest”, Live Action Movie, Emma Watson
  • She's All That
  • Under the Sea Prom
  • Swingers Party
  • Amateur Porn
  • ComEd (Illinois Electric Company)
  • Bar Mitzvah
  • Makeover Reality Show
  • The Abyss
  • Interspace, Dennis Quaid
  • “Kiss Me” by Six Pence None the Richer

Notes

Behind the Scenes

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