| Season 4, Ep 100 - Wizards' Choice Awards (w/ Felicia Day, Mary Holland, Rush Howell, Erika Ishii, Anthony LeBlanc, Charlie McCrackin and Martin Wilson) | |
| Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
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| Air date | December 10, 2023 |
| Episode no. | S04E0100 |
| Episode Link | |
| Cast | |
| Hosts | Arnie, Usidore, Chunt |
| Guests | Timtam the Teal, Kelvaxostrastymor Ebonwing, Jyn'Leeviyah, Spintax the Green, Jamillious Washington the Mauve, Larry Birdman, Blemish |
| Production | |
| Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai |
| Associate Producer | Anna Havermann |
| Post-production coordination | Garrett Schultz |
| Editor | Sage G.C. |
| Logo | Allard Laban |
| Theme music | Andy Poland |
| Sponsor | |
| — | |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Security Team" | "Winter Solstice 2023" |
| List of episodes | |
"Wizards' Choice Awards" is the one-hundredth episode and season finale of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on December 10, 2023.
Description
The season comes to a dramatic conclusion at the Wizards' Choice Awards. Will Usidore win? What will, inevitably, go horribly wrong?
Summary
The Wizard’s Choice Awards take place near Nibblebottom, but in a glass castle in the sky that had appeared when the awards first began. It’s full of magical artifacts. Arnie is backstage with Chunt and Usidore. Chunt expresses his nervousness for the event, as he’s presenting the awards. Usidore is up for Best Wizard of the Year, and when he mentions this to Chunt, Tim Tam the Teal appears, saying she’s up for the award as well. Also, she can’t find her pants.
The hosts look at the artifacts in the castle and approach the Stone of Apheseus. Usidore explains that this is the stone that links him and all wizards to the Realm of Apheseus. If it were ever destroyed, their connection would be lost, as well as all wizards’ immortality. It’s the heart of the castle and only appears for the Wizard’s Choice Awards, rarely being seen. They move on to look at more artifacts before they’re approached by Kelvaxostrastymor Ebonwing, who the hosts had asked to be on security. She asks for their IDs and badges, which Arnie doesn’t have. Luckily, Kel sees Tim Tam’s pants fly by and runs off.
Jyn’Leeviyah the Red and Spintax the Green walk by, discussing that they should kill everyone at the event, as Jyn'Leeviya and Spintax aren’t allowed to sing a song they wanted to perform for the talent show. Usidore tells Jyn'Leeviya he still thinks of her and begins to flirt, and Jyn'Leeviya says she feels the same, but they are interrupted by Tim Tam the Teal again. Jamillious the Mauve approaches the group as Jyn'Leeviya excuses herself, his instruments for his song set on fire by Jyn'Leeviya’s music. They chat and discover Jamillious has also been nominated because of his music.
The opening ceremony begins, MC’ed by Larry Birdman, who lists the awards that will be presented that night. Larry introduces Chunt as his assistant, who presents the first award: Best Short. Tim Tam the Teal, being a very small wizard, is the only nominee and wins. It is her 8th award, already a six-time winner of best small wizard, and one-time winner of most conspicuously selfish use of wizardry. The next award is “Best Summoning of Tiny Pants.” The nominees are Tim Tam and Spintax. Spintax wins. Usidore is called to give a speech and we learn he has never won a Wizard’s choice award. Larry Birdman reveals he has been nominated 212 times before starting the In Memoriam.
During the In Memoriam, the hosts chat with Kel again. They catch up, and Kel explains that she lost her left hand to her last girlfriend, who was a “biter.” Chunt runs to get back on stage as the rewards continue just as Blemish appears with a Rainbowl Bowl Arnie ordered five days ago. Arnie expresses his concern about Blemish being at the awards since he’s a liability. Even though the Dark Lord’s presence in him has been diminished, the Wizards would surely kill him if they found out the truth.
Chunt introduces Can the Wizard, the one who first started these awards. While Can is introducing himself, the audience throws spells and popcorn at him, forcing him off the stage. Larry presents the next awards when Arnie pulls Chunt aside, telling him Eggy Baby is hatching. They run to check on him, soon joined by Usidore. What crawls out of the egg looks and sounds exactly like Twosidore. He introduces himself as Newsidore, and after a distraught Chunt hugs and briefly talks with him, Newsidore heads off. Arnie and Usidore comfort Chunt, hugging him. Chunt eats a candy that makes him forget what just happened so he can continue presenting, as does Arnie, while Usidore remembers everything.
The awards continue, Larry and Chunt building up to the Best Wizard of the Year award. Jamillious runs up, giving everyone except Usidore the Best Audience Award. Jamillious subsequently wins the Best Pandering to the Audience Award. Afterwards, they play clips for each of the five nominees for Best Wizard. Tim Tam is nominated for getting on a boat to go to Paris, Spintax is nominated for saving 100 children, and of course, Usidore is nominated for “killing” the Dark Lord. Rather than a clip of the event, Larry plays an interview of Arnie interviewing Usidore, but it’s the wrong tape, and everything goes south.
During the interview, Arnie asks Usidore who he hates most at the Wizard’s Choice Awards, which Usidore admits is Tim Tam. They go on to discuss how Usidore didn’t actually cheat the “True Death,” and that the Dark Lord is trapped in Blemish’s body. Arnie then reads an email aloud, which recaps how Usidore did kill the Dark Lord, who jumped in Blemish, but this is actually a good thing, since it keeps him powerless and ensures a new Dark Lord won’t arise. The emailer, Jonathan Fairfax, suggests being honest with the rest of the wizards. The recording ends, the wizards utterly outraged. Arnie tries to calm them down and give Usidore a chance to defend himself.
Usidore admits to everything, saying he knew if anyone found out the Dark Lord was still alive, they would try to kill Blemish and bring the Dark Lord back. The wizards are still outraged, saying that Usidore had no right to put the Dark Lord in a creature like Blemish, and because of the lie about the True Death, there could’ve been a Wizard genocide of all wizards completing their true purposes and leaving Foon. Blemish joined Usidore on stage, and after Usidore and Arnie failed to calm the wizards down, the wizards cast spells in rapid fire trying to kill Blemish. Kel loses her left leg.
Usidore calls the attention of everyone with a spell. He threatens to destroy the Stone of Apheseus, which will make them all mortal, and no wizard would be able to return from the dead. The wizards say if Usidore does this, they’ll kill him for this. Kel speaks up, saying that for mortals, life is short, but that’s what makes it sweeter. However, Kel nearly dies from blood loss then, so her speech isn’t convincing.
Arnie says he’ll support Usidore either way, but maybe wizards don’t deserve to be immortal. Usidore agrees, and wanting to make the world better than he found it, destroys the Stone of Apheseus.
With the stone destroyed, the wizards grapple with their mortality and how their lives will change. The wizards resolve that it’s everyone for themselves. They can’t trust anyone, or anything, and decree Wizard’s Law. No one in or out of Foon, and Wizards have all authority. The land will be divided into territories, which will fight each other for control and power.
Arnie, Chunt, Usidore, Kel, and Blemish flee as the castle begins to fall apart. Spintax flies to the East to create an army. Tim Tam returns to Paris. Jamillious admits to Usidore that he’s right, and that wizards are all dicks, but as Spintax leaves, he zaps Jamillious, interrupting the conversation. Usidore summons a giant eagle and he, Arnie, Chunt, Blemish, and Kel fly away on it. As they escape, Usidore explains that Wizard Law means all shall wage war against wizards, and the wizards will rage war against them. Wizards will dictate everything, and it’s the start of the Wizard War. In other words, “Foon is fucked.”
The episode ends with Chunt giving Usidore an award from him and Arnie, which he stole, saying he’s their Best Wizard of the Best Year.
Post Credit Scene
Emails
This week's email was from Jonathan Fairfax, who summarized what happened to the Dark Lord and suggest the hosts be honest with the wizards.
New Characters
Us, the tzar of all toys. (Mentioned)
Newsidore
Paris, best matchmaker in Foon (mentioned)
Gangor the Grey (mentioned)
Willie Crystal, owner of the castle and previous host of the awards. (Mentioned)
Recurring Characters
Tim Tam the Teal
Spyntax the Green
Kelvaxis Drassamore Everwing
Jyn'Leeviya the Red
Jamillious the Mauve
Larry Birdman
Blemish
Eggy Baby
Twosidore
The Dark Lord (mentioned)
Earth References
The Oscars
Marilynn Monroe’s “Flying Skirt Photo”
Toys R Us
Paris
Notes
Artifacts in the castle:
-The Funky Diamond (if made angry, it will destroy them all).
-A magical wand which only makes turkey really dry.
-The slab of screaming (a slab that screams a very tiny moan).
-Spintax has won 212 Best Wizard awards, as many as Usidore has lost.