| Season 4, Ep 17 - Forensic Inquisitor (w/ Mikey Neumann) | |
| Hello from the Magic Tavern episode | |
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| Air date | February 20, 2022 |
| Episode no. | S04E17 |
| Episode Link | |
| Cast | |
| Hosts | Arnie, Chunt, Usidore |
| Guests | Cloakus the Forensic Inquisitor |
| Production | |
| Producers | Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai |
| Post-production coordination | Garrett Schultz |
| Editor | Tim Joyce |
| Logo | Allard Laban |
| Theme music | Andy Poland |
| Special assistance | Ryan DiGiorgi |
| Sponsor | |
| — | |
| Episode chronology | |
| ← Previous | Next → |
| "Gourd" | "Germ Crust Visits" |
| List of episodes | |
"Forensic Inquisitor" is the seventeenth episode of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on February 20, 2022.
Description
A local king has been murdered and someone must use science to solve the crime.
Summary
As Arnie gets through the intro, he fails to notice Chunt’s sincere despair. Earlier, Chunt received a parcel that contained a piece of shell. He is concerned that this is a message about Eggy Baby, who was last seen with the lonesome bounty hunter, Bubba Foot, but now the trail has gone cold. He longs to quest for his lost child. Usidore also dwells on his imminent departure as he is “dying”. At this point, Usidore has been prolonging his death for so long, the other patrons assume that he is already dead.
The group refocus to begin interviewing their guest, Cloakus. He immediately states that he has been carrying dismembered body parts, but then he reveals that he is a Forensic Inquisitor, an investigator that uses science and logic instead of magic to solve crime. Cloakus questions the group about the body parts he has with him: do they know anything about the death of King Yohan the Third? The group knows nothing and is surprised that the body could be identified given its current state. Cloakus shares more of his observations with the hosts. As he takes out the arm, he highlights the 317 knife marks. He explains the methods of Forensic Investigation using acronyms, such as the three Fs; Find evidence, Fixate on evidence, then do Forensics. The hosts backtrack to the first F and how Cloakus found the body. Down the road to the Gooseberry Sanctuary, the body was found among geese (which are now dead) consuming the dead body, and it may have been poisoned. Despite Cloakus seemingly being forgetful at times, Usidore is enamored by his profession and wishes to join him and record his cases.
At the Gooseberry Sanctuary, Usidore, as Wan Johnson, takes notes on Cloakus’s observations and praises him. Cloakus deduces that whatever killed the king must have killed the geese as well. He asks what spell could kill both royalty and geese and Usidore lists off several spells. Cloakus is enlightened and remembers that the spell 8 Billion Knives exists. Now they need to figure out who can cast such a spell. They narrow the suspects down to the castle witch of Castle Hawkspire and Sebastian the Baker, both of whom had relations with King Yohan the Third. Cloakus now deduces that the spell was 4 Billion Knives and both the witch and the bread boy are guilty.
Back at the Strange Familiar, the four summarize the case and get a round of drinks. Cloakus goes over his notes and realizes that he too had relations with King Yohan the Third. Usidore brings up that Cloakus mentioned that he has been having blackouts. Although Cloakus does not know the spell 8 Billion Knives, he does know the spell 4 Billion Knives. The group ponders whether it could be several billion people with one knife, and Arnie is told that there are 11 billion people living in the kingdom. So…everyone is guilty. The assassination is essentially a democracy.
Cloakus asks the hosts to help him with writing the arrest reports, but Usidore just casts 8 Billion Arrest Reports. After reading some emails, Cloakus reads some of his notes about him and King Yohan and Arnie asks what’s next for Cloakus. Now successful with 3 solved murder cases, he is heading back to the Bureau and will rub it into the face of his now deceaseed boss, who is King Yohan the Third. Usidore finishes up his narration and they all drink to a successful day.
Post Credit Scene
Chunt questions whose thing it was and suggests that it would be Pla-roe verse Wade, then Adal asks to cut the bit out.
Emails
- Holly was sadden to hear Usidore's second death. She would've visited Foon to see Usidore at his death bead, however, she is stuck on Earth. She also advises Arnie and Chunt to not talk to strangers just to bloat podcast run time. A final P.S. is directed at Usidore, telling him that if Jyn'Leeviyah did not visit him, then he should accept that the relationship is done for good. Although Usidore does not deny that he is pretty miffed that Jyn'Leeviyah did not show up, he would not speak ill of her. However, despite being a great guest, Chunt and Arnie agree with Holly that she might not be good romantic partner for Usidore. Also, the point of the show is to talk to strangers.
- A listener answers an email about what listeners do while listening to the show. They listen while drinking morning coffee and getting stoned to deal with living in rural America. Their name is appropriately "Tha Masta Bong Rippa".
New Characters
- Dr. Evil
- King Yohan the Third
- Felatagator
- Cungalingus Croc
- Castle Hawkspire's witch
- Sebastian the Baker
- R.L. Stein and his monster
Recurring Characters
- Eggy Baby (mentioned)
- Bubba Foot, the Bounty Hunter of Few Word (mentioned)
- Aprel Füls (mentioned)
- Honk the Assassin (mentioned)
- Jyn'Leeviah the Red (mentioned)
Earth References
- Thanksgiving
- Valentines Day
- The Purge
- Bobba Fett
- Wizard of Oz
- Yellow Brick Road
- The Cowardly Lion
- Austin Powers, Dr. Evil
- Wayne’s World
- Wayne and Garth
- Shwing
- Hamlet, "The lady doth protest too much”
- Gorillas in the Mist
- Bingo Card
- DNA technology
- CSI
- Sherlock Holmes
- I Gave You All the Clues / Hello Mister Police
- Fruitopia
- English accent
- R. L. Stine
- Frankenstein
- Placebos
- Murder on the Orient Express
- Wile E. Coyote, ACME, Road Runner
- Kelly Ripa
- Stephen Sondheim
- Roe v Wade
Magic
- Usidore discussed a Goose evisceration sell, but did not cast it:
- goosesploudia
- Usidore tried casting a spell that would blow up royal people, but instead Chunt observed a king size bed 2 miles away launch into the air and explored:
- royalblammo
- Multiple knife through spells were discussed. It was unclear if spell names, or magical words, were being referenced:
- 8 billion knives, listed by Usidore.
- 7 billion knives, listed by Usidore.
- 6 billion knives, listed by Usidore.
- 4 billion knives, cast twice. The Inquisitor said he knew this spell.
Notes
- There is a nod to the running joke "so much child death in Foon" when Chunt remarks "they'll be dead soon" as the children are shooed away by the group.