Season 4, Ep 19 - Seven Years (w/ Paul F. Tompkins, Matt Gourley & Mark McConville)

Season 4, Ep 19 - Seven Years (w/ Paul F. Tompkins, Matt Gourley & Mark McConville)
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date March 6, 2022
Episode no. S04E19
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests The Night Doctor, Melissa Deathridge, Ogre What’s Good at Magic
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Editor Sage G.C.
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Seven Years" is the nineteenth episode of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on March 6, 2022.


It's Villain's Night at the Strange Familiar and…Magic Tavern's 7th Anniversary!


It’s the Seven Year Anniversary and everyone is excited! To prepare for this momentous occasion, Chunt has been practicing the splits for the last 6.5 years; a maneuver called the Seven Year Splits. However, before Chunt does it, he asks Usidore to use magic to make him do the splits, and with magic, he is split in half. After Usidore’s introduction, with all of Arnie’s interruptions, he fixes Chunt with magic, though his legs are still broken.

To commemorate the date, The Strange Familiar has been decorated with objects and mirrors in groups of seven. But Arnie notices some banners around the tavern saying “Villains’ Night”. As the current proprietor of the Strange Familiar, Usidore kept the event up on the calendar, not only to keep the regulars who enjoy these consistent events, but to lure out some evil doer to smite later. Chunt suggests that they set up traps to catch them. During the setup, Chunt accidently casts a powerful spell that summons a mysterious black door, which Usidore urges the two not to open.

As Chunt goes to get drinks for the group, Arnie and Usidore struggle to talk to each other without Chunt’s energy. Luckily, when he comes back, he meets with three individuals that bought the drinks for him and offered them to join his group. They are The Night Doctor, Melissa Deathridge, and Ogre What’s Good at Magic. They get settled rather quickly as it sets in with Arnie and Usidore that these are the former minions of the Dark Lord and villains lured by Villains’ Night. All six of them engage in casual conversation almost immediately. Usidore asks the villains what sort of evil they have been up to so he can punish them when the night is over. The Night Doctor has been putting leeches on innocent people who were sleeping and killing innocent leeches. Melissa has been killing badgers, which Chunt had to clarify that he is a shapeshifter. Ogre What’s Good at Magic uses his illusionary magic to aid other criminals to perform their dastardly tasks. Melissa initially does not understand Ogre What's Good at Magic’s whole deal until he explains that he is the distraction.

Meanwhile, Chunt is still looking to get his legs healed and asks The Night Doctor. Since Chunt is a shapeshifter, the whole group suggests that Chunt changes into a different creature that would not need legs. They all then take turns describing what a snake is to them. When Chunt mentions he thinks snakes are lizards in sleeping bags, it brings a memory back to Melissa and she goes over her origins story as an orphan at a birthday party in song form. Usidore asks if the crew often works together and they reveal that they are also celebrating their Seven Year Anniversary of working together and doing parallel evil.

The Night Doctor, Melissa Deathridge, and Ogre What’s Good at Magic, also known as the Treacherous Trio of Trekky Trash, reminds the hosts that if they are not villains, they have to pay full price for the night. Usidore adamantly denounces evil as he is the slayer of the Dark Lord, despite what the traveling bards say. The group has heard that a wizard has defeated the Dark Lord, but do not believe that Usidore had anything to do with it. They barely recognize Usidore, but know Arnie’s name due to the graffiti in the bathroom, done by Melissa. It surprises Arnie a little to see evil still thriving well despite the Dark Lord’s defeat.

Another individual approaches the table. Melissa recognizes him as Scorpion’s Tea Party. Arnie welcomes him to join them and asks why his name is Scorpion’s Tea Party. He lifts up his hat and reveals three scorpions having a tea party. Not only does Scorpion’s Tea Party not have control over the scorpions, he is afraid of them. The scorpions interact with each other and the larger group and have so many props. Usidore requests that everyone hold hands and perform a séance to ask the scorpions how they have been getting their props. Using the séance as a distraction, Chunt asks Arnie to trigger the trap they set up at the beginning of the episode and puts an ineffective net on top of Scorpion’s Tea Party’s head. As the weaker of the villains there, he takes the trapping as an insult and Chunt is forced to apologize. After getting the net off, the group still try to figure out a solution for Scorpion’s Tea Party, to which Ogre What’s Good at Magic makes an illusion to make scorpion lovers appear, attracting the main scorpions and moving the creatures to the hole in the floor of the tavern. No longer Scorpion’s Tea Party, he adapts his old name, Ybrian, and technically not a villain (he is an adulterer though, a day early for Adulterer’s Night).

Usidore comes back to the table with ravioli for everyone. Another villain comes by the table, Dry Spell. Although he is not ugly, his pickup lines leave much to be desired, leaving him in his namesake. He openly flirts with everyone at the table, including Melissa, which she is receptive to. They make out and essentially Dry Spell’s dry spell ends. Doctor Nightmare also approaches, who has a sort of rivalry with The Night Doctor. They banter off their credentials and Doctor Nightmare mentions he has a son, Friday. Just then, Horsey McMurder appears, following Doctor Nightmare into the tavern thinking it was Horses Night. As the table gets more crowded, Usidore gets up and gets more ravioli for everyone.

Arnie asks what the group’s next big evil job is. Ogre’s What’s Good at Magic wants to give magic back its bad name after the Dark Lord’s defeat, although the group is starting to think he is mistaking the Dark Yord for the Dark Lord. Melissa Deathridge names the Unnamable Mountain: Slobodan. Once named, the place starts to thunder and shake and the hosts get used to the new name. Dry Spell checks with Melissa if she is free for All Pork Weekend. The Night Doctor will continue putting leeches on people as well as hanging clothes by windows to startle the occupants. Ybrain will go fuck the brother’s wife and Doctor Nightmare will go for the wife’s brother. Melissa closes the night with a prayer. Villains’ Night is a huge hit!

Once it hits midnight, Usidore gathers up the villains and leads them to the black door summoned earlier. He banishes them all until next Villains’ Night and will see some of them for Adulterers’ Night tomorrow.


There are no new emails this week.

New Characters

  • Dark Yord
  • Rick, Chad, and Marty, other dark lords
  • Teller, who works at the bank and his talking Pen
  • Friday, Doctor Nightmare's Son

Recurring Characters

Earth References

  • iTunes
  • Pottery Barn
  • The seven-year itch
  • Bugs Bunny
  • Mouse Trap
  • Rube Goldberg machine
  • Scat and Jazz
  • "My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It)" by En Vogue
  • Karaoke
  • Bad Company
  • Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone
  • Niagara Falls
  • Great Wall of China
  • "Civil War" by Guns N' Roses
  • "November Rain" by Guns N' Roses
  • Press Your Luck, "No Whammies"
  • Earth Girls Are Easy
  • Ouroboros
  • Northern lights (aurora borealis)
  • Princess Aurora, Sleeping Beauty
  • "Witch Doctor" by David Seville
  • Penn and Teller
  • Hands Across America
  • Press Conferences
  • Brian’s Song
  • Lady and the Tramp
  • Popular Riddles
    • The Doctor Was the Mother
    • He Stood on a Block of Ice
    • The Horse was named Friday
  • Cracker Jacks
  • Fortune Tellers/Fortune Cookies
  • Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival
  • Slobodan Milošević
  • The Academy Awards
  • Rise of Skywalker


  • Chunt offers to sing Sexy Dog and Nasty Ravioli for the Seven Year Anniversary.
  • Arnie brings back the classic interruptions that he had said during Usidore's intro over the last seven years: Devourer, Feline Zelig, Hoobastank, Gas My Anus, and Spaghetti1.
  • Arnie knew he wouldn't get a Red Potion, due to his addiction issues.
  • Usidore asks if Arnie ever got back to Earth. The two say, "Year Seven, check that off the list".2
  • The Night Doctor, Melissa Deathridge, and Ogre What’s Good at Magic admonishes thieves as they are not. The hosts remember meeting thieves, with one of them being a pirate. This is a direct reference to Season 3, Ep 31 – Thieves with Superego’s Matt Gourley, Mark McConville and Paul F. Tompkins. The episode is a favorite among the fans and the crew and the three guests are the same as this episode.
  • There are five corners of Foon; North, East, West, South, and Leffer.

Behind the Scenes

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