Season 4, Ep 20 - Ancient Poet Turtle

Season 4, Ep 20 - Ancient Poet Turtle
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date March 13, 2022
Episode no. S04E20
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Hildy Shiblin
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Editor Stephen Dranger
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Ancient Poet Turtle" is the twentieth episode of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on March 13, 2022.


Hildy, the Ancient Sea Turtle, is back from the dead and more fabulous than ever.


In the intro, Arnie includes the new name of the Unnameable Mountain: Slobodan. Just like when Melissa Deathridge said the name for the first time, the Strange Familiar starts to tremble and shake. The group is still unsure if the mountain even likes the name, especially given its known lore. Chunt goes on during the usual banter to give some editor’s notes and listener feedback to Arnie and Usidore. Per Chunt’s request, Arnie shares some light banter about Castle Hawkspire, the castle formerly ruled by King Yohan the Third. He focuses on the fact that the castle has 11 billion people. Usidore and Chunt mentions that the billion number is a generalization for the citizens there, but Arnie concludes that they might not know the meaning of a billion and proceeds to explain an Earth fact.

Arnie pulls Usiodre aside and confronts him on Chunt’s “focus group” which are two hummingbirds commenting on the podcast. They decide to let them continue to make their comments as Usidore invites their guest on, Hildy Shiblin, the Ancient Turtle. After going back to her corporeal form, Hildy has night terrors and finds more meaning in her limited life. She puts her night screams into slam poetry and has been touring around Foon in a road show called “The Hell of My Shell”. Chunt asks for a preview to promote her show, and although Hildy is already playing a sold out show in Nibblebottom, she humors him anyway. Usidore asks where she is performing and she reveals that it is right there at the Strange Familiar. It surprises Usidore a little bit since he is the current owner, but then realizes he talked to her manager, who is just Hildy after taking some night pills for her night terrors.

Hildy goes over her production steps. She finds herself not having much free time anymore as she puts all her efforts into her art, which she fuels with her existential dread. Since Usidore is “dying” soon, Chunt asks if Hildy has any advice for him in his next phase of life. Hildy suggests that he monetize himself and asks if he also tried to come back to life, which he has. Arnie tries to convince Usidore to set up an estate so he and Chunt can get authorization to use his likeness after he dies, which he agrees to. They also ask Hildy if she could do an ad for the podcast, since she has experience doing targeted advertisements to her audience. Meanwhile, Hildy pulls Chunt aside and asks about Chunt’s focus group.

As the sun sets in Nibblebottom, the group finds the perfect opportunity to talk to Hildy’s manager, Ronaldo. She takes her night pills and Ronaldo appears. They admit that Hildy only thinks she is a big hit, however the entirety of her audience is, in fact, a focus group, hired to pay attention solely to her. They go over their tour so far, starting from her hometown, Underwater, to the sky hopefully in the beginning of next year. Ronaldo also admits that Hildy’s doctor has said that Hildy is the healthiest turtle they have ever seen and could potentially never die. If Hildy found this out, her creative drive would be stunted, so her prospects will be affected. The hosts ask what would happen to Reynaldo if Hildy dies, to which Hildy wakes up, with no previous recollection to what Ronaldo had said.

While Hildy is still around, the group reads emails. Arnie gets one that praises his looks and Usidore gets one that lets Usidore know how much he is loved by the listeners, leaving Chunt out. Chunt later “finds” an email complimenting him and gets defensive about how he got it.

Post Credit Scene

Hildy does a formal ad for Hello From the Magic Tavern with Mundle's music.


  • Anthony Flaff is listening to the podcast a second time all the way through. After their first listen, they decided to look up what Arnie looks like in real life and is surprised on how good looking he is. The email does not surprised the other hosts that Arnie read it, but they do not argue with the contents.
  • Baron A Stout was sad to hear that no one showed up to Usidore's Death Day. He lets him and the rest of the group know that Usidore is loved by everyone. Arnie tells Usidore there have been many emails like this for Usidore and the fans hope that when Usidore really dies, that his experience would be a positive one.

New Characters

  • Dillon and Faith, the two kissing hummingbirds in Chunt's focus group
  • Simon the Kneeled
  • Ronaldo, Hildy's manager and Hildy while taking night pills
  • Asthma, the Child, or Kid A
  • Gordon, Arnie's Friend

Recurring Characters

  • Hank, the Listener
  • Cloakus (mentioned)
  • King Yohan the Third (mentioned)
  • Soul Walker (as a concept)
  • The Night Doctor (mentioned)
  • Henry the Blobfish, Hildy's ex (mentioned)

Earth References

  • Spider-Man: No Way Home
  • Gwyneth Paltrow
  • Dial Testing Focus Groups
  • iTunes
  • Roomba
  • buses and vans
  • Patrick Swayze, Ghosts
  • sitcoms
  • Neil Simon, Barefoot in the Park
  • Daytime Television/Daytime Television awards
  • Soap Opera
  • Power of Attorney, making an estate
  • Marylin Monroe, The Seven Year Itch
  • Dungeons & Daddies
  • 99% Invisible
  • Elevators
  • The Bends (album) by Radiohead
  • Asthma
  • Geico
  • Hey Arnold
  • "All Night Long (All Night)" by Lionel Richie
  • Dora the Explorer theme
  • The Hobbit
  • Vaudeville


  • As Chunt acts as the show's editor, he has a few notes for the show under the guise as feedback from the focus group:
    • Arnie should stand up straight.
    • The group can't say "many" listeners.
    • Usidore should say his full name, especially with "umph".
    • The group should have a little banter, not too much and not just small talk.
    • General positive and negative responses based off of dial ratings.
    • Usidore should not just be a gross old man.
    • The group shouldn't side banter.
    • The group shouldn't call turtles crazy.
    • The ads aren't long enough.
    • The focus group likes Chunt's wordplays and puns.
  • When Arnie pulls Usidore aside, Usidore comments that they have established hiding side comments does not work as others can still hear. This is a reference to the Patreon Fooniverse episode, Slambook.
  • Some of Usidore's Special at the Strange Familiar include Usidore's Pillow and Jalapeño Poppers. There is a item named by Chunt called Spicy Buttholes.
  • During one of the emails, Chunt mentions that he had asked out Arnie before and was shot down. This happened in Season 2, Ep 26 – A Short One.

Behind the Scenes

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