Season 4, Ep 3 - Pirate (w/ Austin Creed aka Xavier Woods)

Season 4, Ep 3 - Pirate (w/ Austin Creed aka Xavier Woods)
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date October 31, 2021
Episode no. S04E03
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Chunt, Usidore
Guests Ludwig the Land Pirate
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Editor Anna Havermann
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Special assistance Ryan DiGiorgi
Episode chronology
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"Mind Games" "Claudia Visits"
List of episodes

"Pirate" is the third episode of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on October 31, 2021.


A pirate searching for the water stolen from his land visits the tavern.


Arnie, Chunt, and, eventually, Usidore, with the aid of Hawks still pouring in, are still gathered at the 7-foot oak table at the Strange Familiar, despite the difficulty to get up and the fact that Usidore requested to change tables last episode. Chunt, however, still revels in the notoriety of being so high up above the rest of the tavern. Their banter is interrupted by a booming voice, demanding to also be at the table, which Usidore obliges by using the hawks to lift him up to their level.

The man introduces himself as Ludwig the Land Pirate. The water from his land, Capslocksia, has completely evaporated and he and his tribe adventure out to recapture it. Ludwig is also very dehydrated when he joins the hosts. As a land pirate, he takes great offence to being called a "burglar" or a "robber". Immediately, Chunt notes Ludwig's attire, as he is dressed quite fanciful. Ludwig makes no effort to downplay his fashionista role in his group, although the many feathers in his hat could be attributed to the hawks that lifted him up. He accredits his style to Prince, the Uncrowned King, and Leonard Crevice, a man who fell under a rock and sang about his tribulations once he got out.

Although Ludwig is a proud Land Pirate, he is at Nibblebottom to take back the seas. The culprit traces back to Gak, Gremlin Always Kurmudgeonly. If Gak consumes the water, they could multiply and take over. Luckily, Usidore has heard from the hawks that Gak is staying at the Lazy Horseshoe, another tavern in town. They take a break so that Ludwig can slaughter Gak and the gang can get more drinks. Ludwig comes back with Gak's possession, the Vessel of Everwater.

In between quests, Ludwig's group has put wheels and pedals on their boats and use their service to cart tourists around Foon. The ships have many amenities, such as casinos and magic shows, servicing those on bachelor/bachelorette parties. Usidore asks if Ludwig is concerned if his business may be more profitable than pillaging, where the profit margins are getting close. The three hosts then try to convince Ludwig to let them invest in his business. Offers vary from all different types of food to bodily injuries. During the negotiation, Ludwig calls Arnie "Young Arnold", which is very counter to the normal shit talk that he endures. Arnie reveals that he has been taking care of himself between seasons.

Ludwig also explains how he was able to survive all this time outside of his home. He traveled Espanal, where Ludwig learned the native tongue and consumed the local food. Although Usidore was not familiar with the language of the land, he was familiar with the land being the origin of mountain dew baja blast. Their neighboring land has made Yellow 6, a potion cursed to be so sugary and so sweet, one cannot stop drinking. Ludwig also mentioned he needs to kill Mr. Daniel Swartheimer Pibb and an usual condition he has. He says he'll go to his pill-happy doctor only for Usidore to reveal he's been that doctor the whole time.

Chunt asks Ludwig to share some of his fashion wisdom, but after helping Usidore, he is called away by his crew. Although the hosts understand the shorter visit, they are still contractually obligated to fill the time. Since Ludwig only helped Usidore, Chunt suggests he and Arnie help each other with makeovers. Arnie suggests Chunt wear a little pink polo while Chunt takes off Arnie's glasses and takes out his ponytail to make him beautiful. Both Usidore and Chunt see Arnie's new hotness, but refuse to tell him about the bet. Usidore and Chunt try to do each other's algebra homework, but stops to save that content for the Patreon.


There are no new emails this week.

New Characters

  • Some of the Million of Hawks
    • Trey
    • John
    • Clint
    • Tony
    • Hudson
  • The Bat Guy
  • Lodewig, Ludwig's Father
  • Prince, the Uncrowned King
  • Leonard Crevice
  • Lisa Frank
  • Gak
  • Shark Bluefin, Chunt's business friend
  • Daniel Swartheimer Pibb
  • Dr. Pepper
  • Clan of the New Daisy
  • Howard the Duck
  • Tony the Tiger
  • Tony the Soprano
  • Henry Richardson, a guy you can talk to about things that bother you

Recurring Characters

Earth References

  • Gone Girl
  • John Hawkes
  • Atlanta Hawks (Trae, John, Clint)
  • Tony Hawk
  • Hudson Hawk
  • Batman Franchise
    • Catwoman
    • Bane
    • The Dark Knight
    • The Dark Knight Rises, "Ohh, you think darkness is your ally? I was born in it"
    • "the hero Gotham deserves"
  • Caps lock, internet speak
  • Spanish Language and Cuisine
    • Muchas Gracias
    • quesadillas
    • un poco
    • burrito
    • adios
    • mis amigos
  • Scat singing
  • Prince
  • Lenny Kravitz
    • "Are You Gonna Go My Way"
    • "Rock and Roll Is Dead"
  • Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
  • Dolphins Galore
  • Chicken of the Sea
  • Lisa Frank
  • Monkey and Friends
  • Trapper Keepers
  • 90s kids
  • Gak
  • Everwater
  • Everclear
  • Everlast
  • Pedal Tours/Cruise Ships
  • Red Lobster, Cheddar Bay Biscuits
  • Shark Tank
    • Mark Cuban
  • Young Sheldon
  • Mountain Dew
    • Baja Blast
    • Yellow 6
  • Surge
  • Fruitopia
  • Mello Yello
  • Mr. Pibb
  • Dr. Pepper
  • Nintendo Franchises
    • Dr. Mario
    • Luigi
    • "Your Princess is in another castle"
    • Princess Peach
    • Princess Daisy
  • Howard the Duck
  • Tony the Tiger
  • Tony Soprano
  • "Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop)" by Eurodance
  • Barrel of Monkeys, "More fun than a barrel of Monkeys"
  • She's All That


  • Although Ludwig is the first Land Pirate interviewed on the main feed, he is not the first Land Pirate introduced to the audience. In Masters of Mayhem Season 1, Baron Ragoon and Dripfang encountered Captain Rafe Shapely, in the episode Land Pirate.
  • One of Usidore's other names is Dr. Mahrioh1 and practices medicine. During this time, Chunt reveals that he is Lewd Squeegee.
  • Ludwig mentions a dimensional hopper who asked him to spread the word of @austincreedwins. This is the performer Austin Creed's handle on many social media sites, such as Instagram and Twitter. This is also the first time a performer plugged their own works within the show canon.
  • Mentis, the Mental Merchant, has a drink at The Strange Familiar: The Mentaltini, which has a small taste of emotion.
  • This year is the first time a Chunt For Red October event did not take place.

Behind the Scenes

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