Season 4, Ep 36 - Cowboy World: Tom The Cowboy

Season 4, Ep 36 - Cowboy World: Tom The Cowboy
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date July 25, 2022
Episode no. S04E36
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Champ, Ulysses
Guests Tombleweed Cattleruss
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Editor Anna Havermann
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Additional music Aric Jacover
Episode chronology
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"Meanwhile, Chunt and Momo" "Cowboy World: Flowers the Orphan"
List of episodes

"Cowboy World: Tom The Cowboy" is the thirty-sixth episode of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on July 25, 2022.


Tombleweed Cattleruss, the Cowboy World version of Tomblaine Belaroth, stops by to recount his strange path to being co-sheriff.


Ulysses approaches Foon Arnie to cover for High Foon Arnie while he is still away. Arnie is taken aback a little as he figured that Cowboy World Arnie errands from last week shouldn’t have taken so long. Still Arnie is ready to cover without any additional motivation. Champ apologies to Arnie for trying to lobotomize him last week. Ulysses has also warmed up to Arnie, though still open to his lobotomy. However, Ulysses is still hesitant with Usidore, who has converted his wizard hat into a poncho and is ready to go back home to Foon, and still does not believe that they are counterparts. Despite being a different Arnie, the sexual chemistry between Arnie and Champ is very apparent.

Since Arnie was not ready to host the show, Ulysses has prepared a well known guest; Tumbleweed Cattleruss. He enters howling as a series of coyotes (pronounced kai-yoats) that tricks the hosts before revealing himself. Tom sees that this Arnie is different from his usual Arnie and, in turn, Arnie cannot help but compare him to his own Tomblain Belaroth.

Given the shared path between Tombleweed and Tomblain, Arnie can, more or less, predict Tom’s backstory, but asks for him to share it anyway. Tom is the son of Big Al Cattleruss and Busty Cattleruss. Big Al was the sheriff of Southwestville Gulch, the capital of the Southwest. The position of Sheriff is passed down through a Patriarchy system, meaning that Tom is next to become Sheriff. However, he is in love with Rhianmblin, a whiskey maid. It is not a common practice for Whiskey maids to marry a Sheriff, so Tom decides to run away and join Chicken Penis, a theater group traveling from town to town. Eventually, he hides away to become a Series of Coyotes when he finds out that his twin sister, Throaty Orally, that he came out of his mother’s womb nine years after her, was trying to kill him to be the sole Sheriff. Both ended up at the Cave of the Coyotes and they both did the Coyote Dance, granting them both the title of co-sheriffs of the Southwest. Some minor accomplishments he had made over the last 7+ years include winning a Swisher, and being an author of several books, the more famous one called "Think You Can't Change Your Life? I Bet You Can" (with "bet" pronounced as "coyote").

To step back from the struggles with his sister, Tom decided to come back to Hogswood and spend a Boys’ Weekend with his friends. Tom mentions that Krefnen was the one who hitched the horses, making Arnie skeptical. His disbelief ends up summoning Krefnen to the saloon, only for Tom to call him away. Arnie insults Krefnen’s existence further and summons O Krefnen as well. Meanwhile, Usidore begs Arnie for him to apologize to everyone for his words and for them to leave. Champ calls out both of them to apologize and all but O Krefnen receive it since he died mid-conversation.

Arnie insists on O Krefnen’s bad writing and insulting the dead. Within the conversation, it reminds Tom to sign up for the Hogswood Annual Shootout to get some leverage over his sister before he returns to the Southwest. For more cowboy stuff, Champ recommends Palace, Texas to Arnie. It prompts Arnie to ask the group if they get tired of cowboy stuff, but cowboy stuff is all they know. Arnie theorizes that they would gain some perspective if they traveled the dimensions, like he did. Tom and Ulysses answer back by claiming that no matter where you go, there is cowboy stuff, making some pretty reasonable parallels to some Earth stuff.

To check if Arnie is a cowboy without knowing it, Tom gives Arnie some hypothetical scenarios that Arnie will answer to handle the situation. First, Tom asks Arnie what kind of hat he would wear out in the desert riding, but Arnie says he would not wear a hat. Then, Tom asks what he would lasso cattle with, to which Arnie trepidatiously answers rope. Ulysses gives it a try, asking what would Arnie play around a campfire. He says rope again, another cowboy response. Tom asks what would Arnie wipe his neck with and he answers “Bandaza”. Finally, Champ gives a scenario, but all he could think about is oats.

Suddenly, Cowboy World Arnie barges back to the Burgundy Bronco. He apologies for being late to the podcast and exchanges some pleasantries with Tom. Cowboy World Arnie’s errand was no ordinary errand. He was actually working on a project that he does not talk about much and, for the last 7 years, he did not think he would finish. With Solomon Ragoon’s railway and train now in Hogswood, he has all the pieces he needs to finish his flux capacitor. During the Hogswood Shootout, Cowboy World Arnie is going to steal that train and head back to Earth. Arnie was invited to go with him, but Arnie declines, claiming it is a different Earth. This leads the group to list all the worlds they know of.


There are no new emails this week.

New Characters

Recurring Characters

Earth References

  • baseball
  • Pirates of the Caribbean Film series
    • Orlando Bloom
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
  • "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds
  • "Heat of the Moment" by Asia
  • "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You" by Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
  • "She Blinded Me With Science" by Thomas Dolby
  • "I Want You to Want Me" by Letters to Cleo
  • Hallmark Movies
  • Christmas
  • The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
  • iTunes
  • Paywall
  • Spotify
  • The Dark Tower series by Stephen King
    • The Gunslinger
    • The Drawing of Three
    • ka-tet
    • The Waste Lands
    • Wizard and Glass
    • Wolves of the Calla
  • "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers
  • The Daley family
  • "Ramblin’ Man" by The Allman Brothers Band
  • Colt 45
  • Meet the Parents, “I have nipples, [Focker]. Could you milk me?”
  • Markers Mark
  • US prescription drug advertisement
  • Amblin Entertainment
  • "the camera adds 10 pounds"
  • Swisher Sweets, turn into blunts
  • Al's Beef
  • Cher
    • "If I Could Turn Back Time"
    • "Believe"
    • Moonstruck, "Snap out of it"
    • Sonny and Cher, "I Got You Babe"
    • "Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves"
  • "Shoop Shoop Diddy Wop Cumma Cumma Wang Dang" by Monte Video and the Cassettes
  • "WAP" by Cardi B
  • "Let's Hear It for the Boy" by Deniece Williams
  • Yippee Ki-Yay
  • Kosher
  • O Henry
  • The Dead Authors Podcast
  • Palace, TX
  • Fort Worth, TX
  • Cowboy Bebop
  • The Chicks (formerly The Dixie Chicks)
  • Chris Gains
  • "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" by Paula Cole
  • "The Cowboy Way"
  • "Mammas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys" by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson
  • Bonanza
  • Tony Danza
  • Back to the Future Part III, flux capacitor
  • The Multiverse in Media
  • Kate James
  • Lord of the Rings, Radagast the Brown


  • Arnie referenced being called "Beautiful Arnold" for a few episodes in the beginning of Season 4.
  • O Krefnen's last words were "And Guess who's unhappy? Both of them".

Behind the Scenes

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