Season 4, Ep 37 - Cowboy World: Flowers the Orphan

Season 4, Ep 37 - Cowboy World: Flowers the Orphan
Hello from the Magic Tavern episode
Air date July 31, 2022
Episode no. S04E37
Episode Link
Hosts Arnie, Champ, Ulysses
Guests Flowers the Orphan
Producers Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, Adal Rifai
Post-production coordination Garrett Schultz
Editor Chris Rathjen
Logo Allard Laban
Theme music Andy Poland
Additional music Aric Jacover
Episode chronology
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"Cowboy World: Tom The Cowboy" "Cowboy World: Escape"
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"Cowboy World: Flowers the Orphan" is the thirty-seventh episode of season four of Hello from the Magic Tavern. It was originally released on July 31, 2022.


Flowers the Orphan, the Cowboy World version of Flower the talking flower, makes some startling discoveries.


Cowboy World Arnie apologies for not being around the Burgundy Broncho for the last few weeks for the podcast. Meanwhile, Champ had gone to Flat Neck Station and gambled some treasure he recently acquired, only to pull a Dead Man’s hand. Although he had lost it all, he was able to keep the dead man’s hand. He places the hand between his hooves to fake having a human hand attached to his body. Cowboy World Arnie not only introduces her co-hosts, Champ and Ulysses, but also Arnie and Usidore, who fails to announce his names and titles because he is trying on sombreros. He enjoys Champ’s company, wishing Champ could meet Chunt, but Usidore and Ulysses are still at odds, unable to see each other as mirror world counterparts. The group gets opinions from Man Who Talks Just Like Champ.

There are no new guests this week, just Cowboy World Arnie’s sixth co-host, Flowers the Orphan. Immediately, she calls their current activity a steaming pile of shit and Cowboy World Arnie her mortal enemy. Arnie tries to bond with the orphan by giving his intro and asking about the drinking age in High Foon, but he is rebuked by Flowers and remarks her similarities to his Flower. She tells Arnie that she came from a Big Gulch and bathes in whiskey, albeit she does not let the liquid touch her lips. Although she does not know her mother, she knows her father was a mushroom and lived in a dark cellar his whole life, which is new news to the hosts. Nowadays, Flowers makes maps for anyone willing to buy them. Each of Flowers' maps are unique and uses her perspective.

Usidore rejoins the group, discovering the possibility of using a hat as a vessel to carry salsa. Arnie remembers that Usidore’s love of salsa was magically taken away, but that does not stop Usidore to appreciate the methods of containing salsa. Arnie appreciates that Usidore is using this trip to rediscover himself again due to their situation back in their Foon.

Throughout the conversation, the group all rattle off sayings that would get knitted above the fireplace. Flowers wanted to invent a device that would rotate the sayings, which prompts the segment: Invention Corner with Flowers the Orphan. The guys come up with various different themes for the segment and Flowers shows her latest invention, created mere minutes ago. It is a book hollowed out to contain salsa. She pitches her idea like a stand-up comedy bit. Ulysses shares his favorite inventions by her, such as Quadludes and a Parent Trap.

Speaking of family, Champ asks Flowers if she has a twin, only to be hushed by Cowboy World Arnie, who says it’s not right for them to reveal that Flowers has a twin and that they were separated and went to different schools. Champ immediately blurts out the secret and, when confronted, Cowboy World Arnie owns up to it. Flower asks if her twin was the woman, who looks like her, sitting next to the group. The woman turns to them, saying she is just waiting for the show. Flower asks to touch her mouth and the woman tries to escape. Before leaving she reveals her name to be Gulch, named after the place she crawled out of. Flowers attacks Gulch, unprompted, chewing through her neck and leaves, pressing her scarf against her wound. Flowers maintains dominance and declares she has no family except for the hosts. Ulysses once again offers Flower to join him on his quest to defeat the Pinkertons and she accepts. Champ offers her his dead man’s hand, and she puts it into her pajamas. Cowboy Word Arnie returns her sentiments and tells her his plans to escape High Foon.

Ulysses reluctantly asks Usidore for his assistance as well to capture the Pinkertons and not kill them ala “Green Lantern Hal Jordan”, and Usidore accepts. Cowboy World Arnie goes over the plan: During the Hogswood Shootout, Cowboy World Arnie will slip away and steal Solomon Ragoon’s train. In order to get the train at the speed he needs to leave the dimension, he needs a clear path, so the Pinkertons cannot be anywhere near them. Champ mentions that the Big Chill event is also going on to aid in the distraction, but Champ misunderstands the true activity of the event. Usidore offers to use his magic to get rid of the Pinkertons. Champ is a little suspicious of his ability, but as Usidore tries to admonish the skepticism, he trips over a bucket. Usidore reassures Cowboy World Arnie that he can help as long as it means he can go home, but Cowboy World Arnie feels that he should not be a “New Arnie” in his own world. The group settles on the nickname “A-Train” for him as he plans to steal a train.

Arnie sees a Pinkerton in the saloon and Usidore uses the opportunity to dispose of the Pinkerton with his awesome magic. Arnie sees another Pinkerton and asks Flowers to give it a shot. Flowers confronts the Pinkerton and asks him some questions. She then pulls the “Got Your Nose” bit and the Pinkerton trades his pocket watch for his nose which she accepts. Now disgraced, the Pinkerton leaves, intending to put himself under a train. Champ spots another Pinkerton and Arnie encourages Champ to try to immobilize him. Instead of approaching the Pinkerton, Champ waits until the Pinkerton gets behind him to kick him out the window and out of the saloon, which he succeeds. Another Pinkerton walks in and Arnie suggests Ulysses to go for it before anyone could suggest Arnie to do work. Ulysees simply approaches the man, pulls the man’s hat down and mercilessly beats the shit out of the man. Champ is ready to get ahead of Arnie and tells Arnie to deal with the next Pinkerton. Arnie walks up to the man trepidatiously but begins to use his skills as an interviewer to discuss how fancy the man is. The man shuts his eyes and Arnie is able to convince him to keep them close for a whole two week.

The day’s ordeal was surprisingly easy. The group theorizes that it may be the watch that have been drawing the Pinkertons to the saloon. Ulysses suggests that they round up all the Pinkertons into the basement and throw the watch down there. Flowers and Cowboy World Arnie have gained a little more trust in each other and Cowboy World Arnie boosts the potential success of leaving High Foon.

Post Credit Scene

In the basement, Ulysses thinks about how to keep the Pinkertons distracted while they are down there. Flowers takes it as her time to shine and gets on stage to perform. The crowd goes wild for her stand up.


There are no new emails this week.

New Characters

  • Mr. Marsden, a gambler at Flat Neck Station
  • Champ's Mom
  • Man Who Talks Just Like Champ
  • The Outlaw Big Parented Annie
  • Flowers dad, who is a mushroom
  • Gulch, Flower's Twin
  • Cliff

Recurring Characters

Earth References

  • James Webb Space Telescope
  • "Hey is for Horses"
  • Westworld
    • James Marsden
  • Big Gulp
  • Annie
  • Highlights Magazine
  • A Bridge Too FAr
  • The Bridges of Madison County
  • Jeff Bridges
  • Lloyd Bridges
  • Bridge to Terabithia
  • Randy Quaid
  • Quaaludes
  • Inner Space
  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
  • Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John Le Carré
  • The Parent Trap
  • Dennis Quaid
  • Jeff Foxworthy, "You Might Be a Red-Neck if…"
  • "and twins"
  • A la Spider-Man
  • Batman Begins, "I won't kill you, but I don't have to save you."
  • "Maps"/ by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  • Green Lantern
  • Hal Jordan
  • Carrot Top
  • Full House, "cut it out"
  • Back to the Future: Part III,
    • 88 mph
    • "Great Scott!"
  • "Drops of Jupiter(Tell Me)" by Train
  • "Hey Nonny Nonny" by Violent Femmes
  • Steps tracker


  • The Mysterious Man teases other worlds:
    • Subtle Comedy World
    • Well-Researched Accent World
    • Adal Never Happened World
  • There are sayings that are knitted over the fireplace:
    • Hands Bigger than Cards"
    • It's Moonshine O'Clock
    • If Mama Ain't Happy, That's on Her
    • Stop Knitting Right Over the Fireplace
    • Mama was a Little Troubled
    • One Man's Hat is Another Man's Bowl

Behind the Scenes

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